Gravedigger Promo
Slam Intro
Muscular Masked Man Promo
International Title: MMM vs Mike Kaos
Logan vs Mandy
Nightmare vs Monster Squad
Ragnarok Promo
Hardcore Title: Defman vs Madd Dogg
Steve Carr vs Epic
Ragnarok Promo 2
Gravedigger vs Bishop
World Title: Outcast vs Creeping Death vs Cyrus
"My Immortal" by Evanescence is playing as the scene fades in. The scene is a room, and seeing the things in it, it's a hospital room. In the room is a single bed, and lying in the bed is Gravedigger's girlfriend, Jessie. She is watching television and on the TV is the weekly WCF recap show...where they show matches and the wrestlers' promos that have been cut during the week. Currently on the screen is Gravedigger's latest promo. A noise can be heard from the door. Someone is knocking. Jessie turns her head to the door.
Jessie: Come in.
The door slowly opens and someone is standing there holding a bunch of flowers. The person holding the flowers lowers them...it's Gravedigger. He smiles as he walks in the door and shuts it behind him quietly. He walks over to Jessie's bed.
Gravedigger: Hey, babe.
Jessie smiles real big as Gravedigger hands her the flowers. She smells them and then hands them back to Gravedigger. Gravedigger looks around and finds an empty vase. After filling it up in the nearby sink, he slides the flowers into the vase. He walks back over and bends over the bed. Jessie and Gravedigger kiss. Gravedigger takes Jessie's hand as he sits down. Jessie reaches over and turns the TV off.
Gravedigger: So, how are you doing?
Jessie: I'm doing much better. I should be out of here soon.
Gravedigger: How soon?
Jessie: They're going to do some tests on me later in the week. I should be out of here two weeks from tonight, unless I'm not better.
Gravedigger: That's great.
Jessie: Who was that woman you gave your phone number to the other night?
Gravedigger is confused for a second, trying to figure out how she knew that, but then remembers he did it in his latest promo. He shakes his head.
Gravedigger: Nobody. I gave them Dobbie's number anyway. I knew you'd be watching since it was in my promo.
Jessie nods.
Jessie: I saw that you and DAW got Hellz and Scavenger of Sorrow last week. Thank you.
Gravedigger: Don't thank me yet.
Jessie looks at Gravedigger curiously.
Gravedigger: I'm not through yet. What I did last week was for me. I still have to get them back for you.
Jessie smiles.
Jessie: So, you're going to wait until they're better and attack them again?
Gravedigger shakes his head.
Gravedigger: No way. I'm getting them tonight.
Jessie: But there's security all around them so that it doesn't happen. And besides you don't know what room they're in. Only the hospital staff and Seth Lerch know.
Gravedigger shakes his head and pulls out a slip of paper. He hands it to Jessie who opens it up. On the paper is Hellz Angel's real name and room number 158. She smiles as she hands him the slip of paper back.
Jessie: But you still have the problem of the security guards guarding the room.
Gravedigger: That's why I have HIM.
Jessie: Him who?
The door slowly creaks open. Standing in the doorway is Dark Arts Wizard. He is wearing a surgical mask, surgeon's clothing and is putting on a second glove. He pulls it down past his wrist and lets it go. It makes a snapping sound. He reaches down beside the door and picks up something. He tosses a bunch of clothing to Gravedigger. Gravedigger smiles at Jessie who smiles back. He bends back over the bed and they give each other another kiss. DAW walks in and the door closes as the scene fades to black.
Lords of Destruction blasts over the PA System, and we're on the air! Tonight's signs include "Lock Up The Children! Lock Up The Husbands! Mandy's Back!", "Congratulations, Cyrus", "Rage - The FAKE Of Treachery", "Steve Carr Made My Kids Cry", and various others. As the music dies down and the pyro stops, we go to the announcer's booth.
Zach Davis: Hello fans, welcome to possibly the best Saturday Slam ever. Tonight's card is absolutely PACKED, with not only seven matches, but a lot of crazy stipulations and the like! Tonight IS the 10th anniversery of Saturday Slam. Kind of, the 10th episode, at least.
Shannan Lerch: You said it, Zach. Tonight might as well be a pay-per-view, because it sure feels like it.
Zach Davis: To start us off we'll have the WCF debut of the "Masked Man" who has been attacking our wrestlers as of late. And, hell, he starts off his debut match getting a Title shot against Mike Kaos, whom he attacked last week.
Shannan Lerch: Sometimes it seems like he's on the side of the Youngbloods, sometimes it doesn't. Who knows!?
Zach Davis: We'll also see... Logan... go up against a returning Mandy. It's obvious that it's Roger "Rage" Mason, Logan's brother, but Lerch is still trying to pull it off. And hell, he's booked against MANDY! She's a great competitor and all, but she's a woman.
Shannan Lerch: Don't underestimate Mandy. Girl power!
Zach Davis: We'll see the debut of Nightmare, who sounds frightning, going up against the Monster Squad. That reminds me, Freddy vs Jason came out yesterday!
Shannan Lerch: We have a Hardcore Title defense, with the new man Defman going against Madd Dogg. I'm starting to think no one can stop Dogg... I hope Defman has what it takes.
Zach Davis: Steve Carr is going to go one on one with none other than Epic. That alone is a pretty big match, but Seth Lerch is the special guest ref. I don't know if I like Carr's chances in this match.
Shannan Lerch: Come on, Seth is a fair, just man. He'll call it straight down the middle. I'm starting to like this little Lerch against Carr feud, it's like WCF vs NCW or something. Awesome.
Zach Davis: And the match to end all matches... Gravedigger against his former friend, Bishop. These two have been arguing over who is better for years, and this epic rivalry is coming to an end, here, tonight. It's going to be a match for the ages.
Shannan Lerch: And finally, our World Title match. Outcast against Creeping Death against Cyrus. Each of these men had about a one week Title reign, and they're being viewed as "transitional Champions". One of them has to prove that he has what it takes to be a REAL World Champion, and he's going to do it tonight.
Zach Davis: I can't wait for that match. Quite frankly, the Title scene in WCF hasn't been that great lately, reminding me of WCW's late days. I hope I don't end up announcing baseball games like Tony Schiavone did.
Shannan Lerch: Ha! And coming up, I hear we have a word with the Masked Man.
On the bottom of the screen it says earlier today and we're at the WCF offices. Hank Brown is walking down the hall towards the front desk. He walks up to the secretary seated there.
Hank Brown: I was told that I have a call....
The secretary smiles as she hands him a cordless phone. Hank pushes the talk button, puts it up to his ear. He looks at the secretary and nods. She hangs up her phone and goes back to her business. Hank talks into the phone.
Hank Brown: Hello, this is Hank Brown.
Voice: Hi, Hank.
Hank Brown: Who is this?
Voice: That doesn't matter right now. You'll find out soon enough. I represent the muscled masked wrestler you've been seeing on TV recent weeks, who tonight, is facing Mike Kaos for the international title.
Hank Brown: Great! So, when can I schedule you for an interview here at the studios?
Voice: I'm not coming there.
Hank Brown: Well, what's your address? I'll come there and save you the trouble.
Voice: You idiot, I'm calling you because I'd rather my identity remain a mystery. Trust me, if you saw who I am then you'd know right away who the masked guy is. We do this here...over the phone. Now ask your questions, quickly. We have to prepare for his match tonight.
Hank Brown: Ok, first question is...why wear the mask? Got something to hide?
Voice: No...he just likes playing hide-and-seek with his face...of course he's got something to hide! His identity. Seth told me you were the best interviewer, and I'm starting to regret that I called you. Ask a freakin good question, man!
Hank Brown: Did you just randomly pick who you were attacking? Or is there some kind of pattern?
Voice: There you go, Hank. Now THAT was a good question. The answer is that there IS some kind of pattern. It will be blatantly obvious what the pattern is tonight at Slam.
Hank Brown: During his match?
Voice: Maybe...
Hank Brown: Is he going to unmask?
Voice: Yes, he will unmask tonight.
Hank Brown: During his match?
Voice: ....Maybe.
Hank Brown: Can you give us any hints on his identity?
Voice: Yes. He's an associate of a champion.
Hank Brown: Which champion?
Voice: Again, giving some information like that away will spoil the surprise.
Hank Brown: Is it a current champion?
Voice: Could be. Anyway, my masked man here is going to destroy Mike Kaos tonight. He's going to be bringing a lot of pain with him. And for those that can't handle it, he's going to bring a Painkiller.
Hank Brown: Hey, I recognize that catchphrase. OH!! I know who it is...
Voice: It would be wise to not blab it around.
Hank Brown: Of course. Talk to you later.
Voice: Maybe...
We go back to the announcers booth.
Zach Davis: Was that really who I think it was?
Shannan Lerch: I guess we'll find out soon.
"Bleed For Me" by Saliva plays on the arena's speakers as the muscular masked man walks out from the back and stands there for a few seconds. Half the crowd boos him, while the other half cheers him. MMM walks down the ramp and climbs into the ring, waiting for Mike Kaos to come down.
The lights in the arena go out, "Gramercy Park" hits, and two green pyros cross over the ring. The lights come back up, and Mike is sitting on the turnbuckle. MMM jumps as he didn't see Mike there. The referee calls for the bell as this match-up for the International title begins.
Mike Kaos begins the match with a boot to the midsection. MMM isn't even fazed. Kaos fires a right hand at the muscular man, still no reaction. Kaos grabs the man and headbutts him. MMM just grins. Kaos goes for another boot but his leg is caught, used to pull him in and MMM hits a massive clothesline, flooring the champion.
Zach Davis: The muscular masked man starts this match off with a huge clothesline.
Kaos is back up and steps back a little and tries to come up with another strategy. He grabs the muscle man and irish whips him. MMM reverses the irish whip and hits Kaos with a powerslam. MMM starts getting up and is nailed in the back of the knee with a kick from Kaos. MMM falls to one knee but gets back up.
Shannan Lerch: Kaos needs to keep MMM on the ground.
Kaos dropkicks the muscled monster in the back and MMM skids face first across the mat. MMM slaps the mat in anger and stands up.
Zach Davis: Uh oh, that was not a good idea by the international champ.
Shannan Lerch: I think he's just made it worse for himself.
He turns to Kaos and walks over to him, anger in his eyes. Kaos takes a swing and MMM ducks. He grabs Kaos and goes for an atomic drop. Kaos hooks his left leg around MMM's left leg. MMM decides to put Kaos in a bearhug instead and begins squeezing the air out of him. Kaos counters this by hitting huge blows with his elbow on the challenger. MMM finally lets go in a daze. Kaos bounces off the ropes and floors the big man with a flying forearm.
Shannan Lerch: Kaos finally gets the masked man down!
MMM back up and is hit with a bodyslam. Kaos walks over and stands at the nearby turnbuckle, waiting for MMM to get up. MMM is up and Kaos dives at him and nails MMM with a spear....but MMM holds on, hooking his legs around Kaos.
Shannan Lerch: What's this? Not only is he a monster, but he knows submission moves, too?!?
Zach Davis: WCF is in real trouble...
He wraps his arms around Kaos' neck and starts trying to make him tap. Kaos tries to lift himself and MMM off of the mat, but MMM denies him that by punching him in the side. Kaos reaches out, blindly, and by sheer luck grabs the ropes. The referee tells MMM to let go of the hold. MMM up off of the mat as is Kaos. They lock up in the center of the ring. MMM with a headlock on the champion. Kaos punches him in the side and sets him up for a german suplex. He nails it!
Shannan Lerch: German suplex on the challenger.
Kaos stands up still holding onto MMM...another german suplex!
Zach Davis: Kaos showing off his skill and power with the triple german suplex move he likes to use.
Up again...a third german suplex! Kaos lets go and tries to catch his breath. He looks over in amazement as MMM gets right back up as if the match has just started.
Shannan Lerch: Holy crap! This guy is like a machine!
Kaos doesn't have time to get up as MMM starts stomping away at the fallen champion. MMM draws an imaginary line across his throat as he picks up Mike Kaos.
Zach Davis: Oh man, the masked man says this match is OVER.
MMM kicks him in the gut and lifts him over his head with a loud grunt. He gorilla presses him over his head and shows off his strength by "bench pressing" him.
Shannan Lerch: Kaos is 300 pounds and the masked man acts like he's only 50 pounds!!
He drops him, catches the 300 pound man to everyone surprise and nails a Death Valley Driver on the International champion. MMM flips the man over and applies a STF. Within seconds, Mike Kaos taps...we have a new International champion!!
Zach Davis: Wow! The masked man comes in on his first match and practically dominates it, winning the International title from Mike Kaos. But wait, I don't think he's through yet!
The referee tries to raise MMM's hand but he yanks it away and climbs out of the ring. MMM fishes around under the ring and comes out with two tables. He sets up one table, and then another one. He takes one table and stacks it on the other. He climbs into the ring and picks up Kaos.
Zach Davis: This does NOT look good for our former International champion. Someone stop him!
Shannan Lerch: Get the EMTs out here, this is gonna be bad!
MMM walks over to the side of the ring with the tables, still holding Kaos. He picks Kaos up and powerbombs him over the top rope through the two tables!!
Crowd: HOLY SH!T HOLY SH!T HOLY SH!T
Shannan Lerch: OH MY! Kaos could be out for a while due to that.
MMM walks over, takes his newly won title from the referee, straps it around his waist, and leaves the ring. MMM walks to the back as "Bleed For Me" by Saliva plays on the speakers.
Straight Out Of Line by Godsmack plays over the PA system, and the crowd boos heavily. "Logan" walks out, and at first glance he looks exactly like the original. Seth Lerch is by his side, and the two walk to the ring. Logan gets in, and paces around until his music cuts.
21 Questions by 50 Cent plays and Mandy runs out from the back, running down the ramp and clapping the fans hands on the way. She slides into the ring, smiling.
Zach Davis: I'll tell you right now, I'm not going to have fun calling this match. But here we go.
Mandy and Logan go to lock up, but Logan gets behind her and Dropkicks her. She goes down hard. He then drops an elbow on her, rolls her over, and makes the pin. One, two, no, Mandy kicks out.
Zach Davis: Rag-... er, Logan, was too cocky.
Logan picks Mandy up and goes for a Spin Kick, but Mandy ducks it, and hits a Head Scissors Take Down! The crowd pops, cheering Mandy on. Logan stands up and Mandy Clotheslines him back down, and then starts stomping away on him!
Shannan Lerch: I told you not to underestimate her!
Logan rolls away soon, and uses the ropes to stand up, even as Mandy continues kicking him. He grabs her by the hair and throws her into the turnbuckle, and as she staggers away catches her and hits a Belly to Belly Suplex! Mandy hits the mat hard. Logan goes over, and begins picking her up... and out of nowhere, Mandy kisses him.
Zach Davis: What in the f-
It's not just a small kiss, it's a KISS, with tongue. And soon Logan is returning the favor. The ref doesn't exactly know what to do, so he just kinda stands there, watching. Once they're done, Mandy begins moving down...
Zach Davis: She's not going to.. No, not in a wrestling ring..
Right as she's around his lower area, she LOW BLOWS him!!
Shannan Lerch: HA! Women know how to manipulate you men, Zach. Mandy's pretty smart.
Logan goes down, holding his crotch, yelling in pain. Mandy pins him. One... Two.... No! Logan SOMEHOW manages to get his shoulder up. Mandy picks Logan up and gets him in a Vertical Suplex position, but sets him on the turnbuckle. She climbs up, and is about to hit a Superplex, but Logan punches her in the stomach a few times and pushes her off. She falls to the mat. He then hits a Phoenix Splash!
Zach Davis: SEE!? That was Rage's finisher!!
Logan quickly picks Mandy up, and hits The Connector!!
Shannan Lerch: Yeah, and that's LOGAN's finisher!
Zach Davis: Don't be ridiculous, Shannan. That's Rage. Give up.
Logan pins Mandy. One, two, three. "Logan" has won!
Zach Davis: Whatever, whoever he is, he's beaten a woman. Good job, hats off to you, man.
Logan rolls out of the ring, and Seth congratulates him on a job well done. The two then walk to the back.
Suddenly the arena plunges into darkness and Drop the Bombshell hits as a wall of fireworks heralds Nightmare's entrance prompting a standing ovation. The music plays for a minute and when the first chorus kicks in, Nightmare walks through the curtain with Korinea and Jeff Stevens through the blue and purple strobe lights. He raises his arms high in the air while he talks to his fans, then he goes back and forth on the stage high fiving everyone he can see up there. he walks down the ramp, high fiving everyone he can reach, then he pulls his kendo stick from his sheath and taps the steel stairs on all four corners before he slides into the ring, posing among the flashing lights. he props Korinea on his knee and drops down to one knee, spreading one arm and using the other to hug Korinea close to him as purple fireworks blast everywhere, with Jeff Stevens flexing above him. he stands up, does his chest pounding taunt as the crowd cheers him, then he removes his to-the-ring attire and awaits his opponent. Korinea kisses him and exits to the outside as Jeff steps over the top rope and drops to the floor.
Zach Davis: Very impressive entrance.
Shannan Lerch: Entrances don't mean anything, let's see if he can back it up in the ring!
The Friday the 13th Theme plays, and both Creeper and Hacker walk out slowly from the back. They walk to the ring, calmly, and get in. The bell rings.
Zach Davis: Handicapped match.. Here we go.
Hacker and Creeper run at Nightmare, but Nightmare hits them both with a Double Clothesline. Both Monster Squad members go down. Nightmare stomps on them both a few times, and then picks up Hacker. He hits a Spinning Wheel Kick.
Shannan Lerch: Lethal Injection!
Hacker goes down, and Nightmare pins him. One, two.. Creeper breaks it up. Creeper kicks Nightmare a few times, but Nightmare stands up quickly, regardless. Creeper runs to the ropes and Clotheslines Nightmare down, and then hits a Leg Drop. Hacker then hits a Standing Headbutt. Hacker and Creeper then both climb to opposite turnbuckles. As Nightmare stands up, Hacker hits a Missile Dropkick, and Creeper follows up with a Flying Elbow Drop!
Zach Davis: Great teamwork by the veteran group of Hacker and Creeper.
Creeper pins Nightmare. One. Two. No! Nightmare kicks out.
Shannan Lerch: What a monster, to kick out after all that offense.
Creeper and Hacker pick Nightmare up, and grab him by the throat. They hit a Double Chokeslam! They then pick him up and hit the Monster Bomb! Creeper pins Nightmare again, and this time, he doesn't kick out.
Zach Davis: Wow, they sure made quick work of Nightmare. If I was Madd Dogg, I'd be thinking twice about that match at Ultimate Showdown right about now.
Shannan Lerch: Are you kidding? Madd Dogg has no fear.
The scene fades into a hallway. In the middle of it stands Dark Arts Wizard and Gravedigger, dressed in a surgeon's outfit and a doctor's outfit. Behind them down the hall a little ways is a bunch of security guards, guarding a room. Gravedigger taps his foot impatiently.
Gravedigger: Where is he??
Dark Arts Wizard: Have patience, my friend. He'll not disappoint us...like he usually does.
Suddenly, an ugly nurse comes walking down the hall towards GD and DAW. For some reason the nurse is walking like she's a thug. She stops in front of GD and DAW.
Nurse: Alright guys, I'm here. Let's go do this!
Gravedigger looks at the nurse with a weird look on his face.
Gravedigger: What in the hell....Dobbie?!?
Dobbie ducks down behind GD and DAW.
Dobbie: You can still tell it's Dobbie?? Keep it down, dood, da 5-0 is over there, don't want them to know it's Dobbie.
Gravedigger: Why the hell are you dressed up as a nurse??
Dobbie: You said get an outfit. Dobbie figured that since DAW was a surgeon and you was a doctor, that the only logical thing to be is a nurse.
Dark Arts Wizard looks at Dobbie.
DAW: You don't even know what logical means do you?
Dobbie gets all mad.
Dobbie: Shut yo punk ass up, DAW. Tired of you. Now, let's get this thing done. My girdle's botherin me.
GD and DAW start to turn around to walk to the room when they hear Dobbie say the word girdle. They turn around quickly.
DAW: Did you say girdle?
Dobbie: Yeah, Dobbie figured if he was going to dress up, he'd go all the way.
GD points at Dobbie's "boobs".
Gravedigger: Well, even though that's a scary thought, nice touch on the stuffing socks into a bra thing.
Dobbie: Those ain't socks.
GD gives Dobbie a disgusted look and starts to say something but DAW stops him.
DAW: Don't ask Gravedigger. Just leave it alone.
GD shrugs as he and DAW turn around. The three men...or well...two men and Dobbie walk towards the room. One of the security guards stops them.
Security Guard: Excuse me, no one said that there was a nurse THAT LOOKS LIKE A MAN BABY, a surgeon and a doctor coming in.
DAW stares deep into the man's eyes and as if hypnotized he steps to the side and gestures for them to go inside. The other security guards look at the lead guy with a weird look. The scene fades to black as the door to Hellz Angel and Scavenger of Sorrow's hospital room closes.
The arena goes black, a light neon blue shines at the top of the ramp, the light grows into a series of explosions, and the lights come back on. Defman is seen at the top of the ramp, murmering to himself... He starts walking down to the ring, head down... He jumps onto the apron, and steps over the ropes.
The arena goes dark as the bass line of the music cuts in. The words "It is dark, and hell is hot" fill the arena as the stage explodes. Low red lighting barely illuminates the stage as Dogg walks out. From right to left, mini pyro showers go off in order, slowly. Each covering Dogg with golden sparks. Then the stage explodes again and Dogg walks down to the ring.
Zach Davis: Both Defman and Dogg appear to be in incredible shape, this will be excellent.
The two walk towards each other, and starts trash talking. Defman pushes Dogg, and Dogg pushes back. Defman goes to hit Dogg with a forearm, but Dogg ducks and kicks Defman in the gut. He punches him a few times, and then Clotheslines him over the rope and to the floor, sending both men to the outside. Dogg is the first up, and he kicks at Defman a few times before going over to the announcers table...
Shannan Lerch: AHHHH!! What is he doing over here!? Protect me, Zach!
Zach Davis: No.
Shannan Lerch: I'll make it worth your while..
Zach Davis: No.
Dogg grabs a chair, and as he turns back to Defman, the chair gets Dropkicked into his face! Defman then takes the chair from him and starts hitting him with it, over and over. He quickly makes the pin. One, two, no.
Shannan Lerch: Good offense by Defman.
Defman picks Dogg up and slams his head into the guardrail. He then grabs Dogg and throws him onto the spanish announce table.
Zach Davis: We have a spanish announce table? I never noticed.
Shannan Lerch: Yeah, we just put that there so they wouldn't hurt our table. No one actually uses it.
Defman climbs onto the table, and hits a Double Arm DDT on Madd Dogg, causing the table to collapse! Both men lay on the ground a few seconds, before Defman rolls over onto Dogg and makes the pin. One... two... no! Dogg is again able to kick out!
Zach Davis: Defman is really taking it to Dogg, but he hasn't been able to get the pin yet.
Defman swears to himself, and starts picking Dogg up, but Dogg begins fighting back. He punches Defman a few times, slams his head on the guardrail, and then hits his head onto the turnbuckle pole! He then throws Defman onto the real announcers table.
Shannan Lerch: Uh oh, looks like we should have gotten another spanish table-
The announcers move out of the way as Dogg climbs onto the table, with Defman. Not to be outdone, he hits the Dogg Pound through the table! The crowd immediately goes into "HOLY SHIT!" chants, and both men lay on the ground, resting a bit. Madd Dogg crawls over top of Defman, and the ref counts.
One.
Two.
NO!
Defman barely got his shoulder up. Dogg is furious, and picks Defman up. He Powerbombs Defman into the turnbuckle pole on the outside! He then makes the pin again.
One.
Two.
Three.
Dogg has retained his Title in this brutal match. He grabs it, and walks to the back. Defman gets up slowly, and he receives a standing ovation. He, too, walks to the back.
"Perfect Strangers" hits. The music plays for a few seconds, Epic walks out and just stands infront of the curtain for a while to let the crowd catch a glimpse of him in all his glory. Seth Lerch then steps out from the back, wearing a ref's shirt. Epic slowly walks to the ring, and just before he enters the ring he takes off his robe and enters the ring. Seth follows. Once Epic is in the ring he waits in the corner, with a look of totally confidence. Seth stands in the middle, awaiting Carr.
The lights turn off. Edgecrusher starts and red strobes flash. He steps out and the lights stop flashing. They become red spotlights which follow him up to the ring while he pretends to give high-fives to the fans and then pulls away. He climbs up the stairs and steps over the ropes.
Zach Davis: Now that we've gotten a BRAND NEW announcers table built, and we're back... Well, about this match. If nothing else, this will be interesting. Will Seth call it straight down the middle?
Shannan Lerch: Yes. Of course.
Carr and Epic approach each other, and tie up. Carr overpowers Epic, and pushes him into the corner. Seth forces Carr to move back, and as he does Epic kicks him in the stomach and DDT's him to the mat. Epic goes and pins Carr quickly. Seth drops to count... 1, 2... Carr kicks out.
Shannan Lerch: See? I told you it'd be fair.
Epic picks Carr up, but Carr starts fighting back with punches. Epic staggers, and Carr hits a Northern Lights Suplex pin. Lerch drops to count again... 1, 2, no. Epic kicks out.
Zach Davis: That count looked about right, yeah.
However, Carr stands up, and starts arguing a bit with Seth. Seth says he didn't do anything wrong, and in the meantime, Epic climbs to the top rope. As Steve turns around, he's met with a Flying Clothesline! Carr goes down hard. Epic stomps on him a few times, and then hits an Elbow Drop. He then picks Carr up and goes for a Powerbomb...
Zach Davis: No way! Carr is too big.
And Carr counters with a Back Bodydrop, sending Epic down to the mat. Epic stands up and Carr hits him with a few Karate kicks, sending him back into the turnbuckle. Carr backs up, runs at him, and Clothesline him into it. Epic goes down. Carr jumps to the top rope, and hits the Ultimatum!
Shannan Lerch: Well, this may be it.
Carr pins Epic. One. Two. ... Lerch refuses to count anymore. Carr stands up, angrily, and starts yelling at him, again. Lerch pushes Carr, Carr pushes back, Seth kicks Carr, Carr pretty much just shakes it off and hits the Ultimate Stunner!! Carr then turns back to Epic, but is met with the Tranquilizer!! Carr flies down to the mat as well. Epic tries to revive Lerch, who slowly starts to stand up again, groggily. Epic picks Carr up and hits the Epic Falls as well, and Lerch counts. OneTwoThree.
Zach Davis: Epic has won the match, but that count was REALLY fast. Not to mention when Seth wouldn't count for Carr. Fair, Shannan?
Shannan Lerch: I said he'd be fair.. I didn't say who he'd be fair to, though.
Once Seth has regained himself, he starts stomping on Carr, along with Epic.
Zach Davis: Carr hasn't exactly been making friends, I don't think anyone is going to come out and even the odds for him.
Seth gets Carr in position for the I Own You, and Epic helps him get Carr up. He hits it! They then continue to kick Steve a bit, and as soon as they're done, they start leaving the ring, laughing to each other. But as they're about to go to the back.. Carr is standing up, and has a mic.
Steve Carr: You think I'm done? Get back in here, Lerch!
Lerch looks enraged, and instructs Epic to go to the back. Seth then runs to the ring, gets in, and starts brawling with Carr. They exchange blows, back and fourth, until Carr hits another Ultimate Stunner on him! He then quickly jumps up and hits the Ultimatum for the second time this night. He then rolls out of the ring and walks to the back, triumphantly. After he's gone, Seth slowly rolls out. He walks to the back, looking like he's in a lot of pain.
Hellz Angel looks up as three men walk in. DAW walks over to the bed that SOS is lying in and pulls out a bag of liquid. He starts fiddling with the IV set-up that SOS has. GD looks over there.
Gravedigger: What are you doing?
DAW: This will slow him down some. You and me can take care of Hellz, the nurse can take care of SOS.
Hellz: Hey, I recognize those voices. You're Gravedigger and Dark Arts Wizard! HEY, GUA--
GD jumps over and punches Hellz in the face, stopping him from finishing his cry for help. Dobbie grabs a chair and slides it over to the door. He wedges it under the knob so that no one can open the door. DAW walks over to Hellz's bed. He punches Hellz in the face. GD and DAW both start beating the crap out of Hellz Angel. GD reaches into a pocket and pulls out a nightstick he brought with him. He starts nailing Hellz in the stomach with the nightstick over and over. He hollers out in pain. Dobbie runs over and jumps on SOS and starts punching him over and over. DAW reaches over to Hellz's IV bag and gives it a squeeze. Hellz hollers out in pain and there's a knock at the door. GD looks at DAW.
Gravedigger: We don't have a whole lot of time left. Hey, bring over that thing over there. You know, the thing they use on TV with the two things....and they say clear and zap someone.
DAW looks behind him and sees what GD is talking about.
DAW: You mean a defibulator?
Gravedigger: No, I'm talking about that thing in the corner.
DAW: That's a defibulator.
Gravedigger: Look, we don't have time to argue, just grab the defibuwhatever and bring it over here.
DAW walks over and grabs the defibulator. He wheels it up to Hellz's bed. GD walks around and starts playing with the knobs. DAW rubs the two pads together.
DAW: CLEAR!
DAW jams both of them into Hellz Angel. Hellz Angel jerks and jumps all over the bed. GD messes with the knobs again and DAW zaps Hellz with again, and then one more time. GD reaches down beside the bed and comes up with a metal bedpan. He is balancing it carefully as he puts it on Hellz's bed. He grabs Hellz Angel's head and rubs it in the metal bedpan. Hellz screams. DAW walks over and grabs SOS' bedpan and turns it upside down. His shoulders slump.
DAW: This one is empty.
Gravedigger: I don't care, give it to me.
DAW hands GD the bedpan. GD pulls Hellz's face out of his bedpan and puts the side of his head in it. GD then puts the other bedpan on the other side of his head. He reaches into another pocket and pulls out the little hammer they use to test your reflexes. GD laughs maniacally as he slams the hammer on the top of the bed pan over and over. Hellz Angel's body spasms as he screams bloody murder. GD stops hitting the bedpan after a few more times. DAW steps forward and jams the two pads onto the bedpan and Hellz Angel starts screaming out some more. DAW steps back and lets the two pads fall to the floor. GD points at SOS and DAW joins him and Dobbie in beating the crap out of SOS. GD turns and grabs one of the pads and jams it into SOS' crotch. Dobbie laughs at SOS as he screams out in horror. Suddenly the banging at the hospital door stops. The three men look up. A loud crashing sound can be heard as the door starts to splinter.
Dobbie: Oh snap!! They breakin down the door! We gots to get outta here!
Dobbie runs over to the only window in the room and tries to pull it up. It won't budge.
Dobbie: Oh snap, tha window is stuck!!
GD walks over and starts pulling at it. He looks at DAW.
Gravedigger: Dude, help me get this. Dobbie, try and hold them off.
Dobbie runs over and talks trash to the police trying to break the door down. GD and DAW try with all their might and finally get the window to slide up. DAW jumps out first. GD gets halfway out and turns back to Dobbie.
Gravedigger: Dobbie, come on man!
The door suddenly bursts open enough that Dobbie can see some of the police outside the room.
Dobbie: Oh what now, 5-0. Can't do shiat can ya!! Punk ass muh fuccas!
One of the police puts his hand through the hole and is holding a thing of mace. He sprays it in Dobbie's eyes. Dobbie clutches his eyes and hollers out.
Dobbie: DAMN, that was Dobbie's eyes, dood! How you gonna hate on me like that! Stupid pig.
Gravedigger: DOBBIE, COME ON!!
Dobbie turns around, still blind, and runs for the window. He leaps into the air but misses the window and slams into the wall. He smacks the floor with a thud. GD gets mad and climbs in the room. He grabs Dobbie and carries him out of the room as the police bust in. GD, DAW, and Dobbie run a couple of hundred feet before stopping. They're standing there trying to catch their breath when they suddenly hear a hissing sound.
Gravedigger: The hell is that?
DAW sees what it is and points at Dobbie. One of his "boobs" is deflated.
DAW: One of Dobbie's boobs is no more.
Dobbie looks down and laughs.
Dobbie: Oh snap, I look like Gravedigger's mom.
Gravedigger starts beating up Dobbie as the scene fades to black.

