War V Intro
Hardcore Title: J-X vs Howie
Cage Match: Seth Lerch vs Madd Dogg
The War Match
World Title: PC Cradle vs X-Rated

  • War V Intro
  • Zach Davis: There goes the pyro, WCF is on the air! You're listening to WCF's theme for The War V, it's Love and War by Drowning Pool, off their new album Desensitized. The fans are excited tonight, Shannan, let me tell you. War is always a great, exciting event, and this will be no different.

    Shannan Lerch: I agree. We have four blockbuster matches tonight, including the War match itself. And that match has such a great list of competitors.

    Luscious Jackson: Don't forget about me, bitches!

    Zach Davis: I'd like to. Regardless, in our World Title match tonight, PC Cradle goes one on one with the Champ, X-Rated. X hasn't quite gotten a chance to prove himself as a worthy Champion, but if he can defeat Cradle tonight, that'll definitly do it.

    Shannan Lerch: Yeah, but, there's no way Cradle can do it. He hasn't been World Champ yet for a reason... he's not going to be.

    Luscious Jackson: Who cares? The big deal tonight is the War match. Twenty five men will fight to see who becomes the Number One Contender. No over the top crap, just pins and submissions. It's going to be good.

    Zach Davis: When you're talking War, a few big names come to mind. Trent Hunter, former Champion. Gravedigger, former Champion, former War winner. Logan, former Champ, former War winner. Neo, former Champ. Dake Ken. Outcast. There's no favorite, it's honestly anyones match.

    Shannan Lerch: The big story, however... Trent Hunter TURNED HIS BACK ON THE ELITE LAST WEEK. He Powerbombed X. It might have been out of jealousy, it might have been out of anger, who knows. But you know that Dake and Tilley are going to be aiming right towards Trent whenever he gets in the match.

    Luscious Jackson: Yeah, it depends what number these daddios draw. The earlier you're in the match, the more likely it is that you lose.

    Zach Davis: Anyway, we're also goin' to see a match that Shannan, you probably shouldn't watch. Seth Lerch signed to take on Madd Dogg in a steel cage.

    Shannan Lerch: No, I do want to watch, I want to watch Seth tear Dogg apart! Dogg's been stalking our family for long enough! This will be put to an end TONIGHT!

    Luscious Jackson: Doubt it. Seth's gettin his ass killed.

    Zach Davis: In our opening match, J-X is fighting Howie for the Hardcore Title. J-X and Howie have had quite the feud over the last few weeks, and it should be interesting to see how this one plays out.

  • Hardcore Title Match: J-X vs Howie
  • Shannan Lerch: God Send Death by Slayer is playing, and here comes J-X. The lights are pulsating blue and green.. and here comes the fire from the turnbuckles.

    Luscious Jackson: This cat knows how to make an entrance!

    Zach Davis: This is the man who says that he deserves to win the Hardcore Title. He is just lucky that he didn’t die.

    Shannan Lerch: That’s right, he took one of the most insane moves ever.

    Zach Davis: Roll Out by Ludacris hits and out comes Howie, driving out in a red 69' Camaro with ghost flames, hydraulics, red and white strobe lights flashing all around!

    Luscious Jackson: Here is the Hardcore Champion in his sweet ride.

    Zach Davis: The bell rings and the match is underway. Both men tie up in the middle of the ring. DDT by Howie on J-X. Howie is going for a standing Moonsault and hits it.

    Luscious Jackson: He covers. One! Two.. no J-X kicks out. Howie is going for some weapons.

    Shannan Lerch: It looks like he is pulling out a chair, two tables, 2x4, bowling ball, and a ladder. I hope there isn’t shades of Thursday night.

    Zach Davis: That would end his career, wait, J-X is on his feet and rolls behind Howie for a German Suplex. He just hit it.

    Shannan Lerch: He is setting up one of the tables. He it waiting for Howie to get up. Howie is up and J-X just hit a…. no wait.

    Luscious Jackson: Wow, Howie just reversed it into a Backdrop. He hits another one. Oh my god, another one. Wow, this has to put J-X away. Cover by Howie. One! Two!.. no J-X kicks out.

    Zach Davis: Howie just threw him out of the ring. J-X is somehow able to get to his feet. Out comes Howie. They are punching each other up to the stage.

    Shannan Lerch: What a fight this is. Howie goes behind J-X and tries for a German. J-X stops it and rolls behind Howie and gives him a German off the stage.

    Luscious Jackson: My god. Howie has to be dead. He landed right on his neck. This crowd is shouting Holy Shit quite a lot right now. Good reason to.

    Zach Davis: Wait, look, Howie is actually starting to stand up! What a badass... but NO! He gets hit with a TWISTED KICK from Twister! He came out of nowhere!

    Shannan Lerch: Why in the hell is Twister out here attacking Howie?!

    Luscious Jackson: I don't know, but he's leaving now. I'm pretty sure Howie's done for.

    Shannan Lerch: Why is J-X coming back to the ring? Wait, he has a ladder and table with him. What is he gonna do. Howie is finally starting to stir.

    Zach Davis: J-X is setting up the ladder and table on stage. Why is he going backstage… whoa. He has a flaming 2x4 with barbed wire on it. What is he gonna do with it.

    Luscious Jackson: Howie is climbing back up to the stage. He is now on it.

    Shannan Lerch: What is J-X gonna do with that. Oh my god, Howie just got hit with it. J-X is climbing up the ladder and waiting for Howie to get up it as well.

    Zach Davis: How is Howie doing this. I don’t get it at all. J-X just rammed Howie’s head into the top of the ladder. How is J-X gonna do this.

    Shannan Lerch: All I know is that J-X has Howie hooked for a Pedgriee. Oh my god, J-X just hit the Pedigree off the ladder onto the stage. This has to be all.

    Zach Davis: J-X cover. One! Two! Three! We have a new Hardcore Champion in J-X.

    Luscious Jackson: What a match this was. Guys, I'm hungry, I'm going to go back and get some food.

    Zach Davis: What? Ah, whatever. At least Luscious is gone.

  • Cage Match: Seth Lerch vs Madd Dogg
  • Zach Davis: Anger Rising is playing, and it's time for our next match. Here comes Seth. He sure looks angry.

    Shannan Lerch: Wouldn't you if you had to face Madd Dogg?

    Zach Davis: Well, yea I guess I would.

    Seth Lerch: You know, this really is a load of horseshit. Madd Dogg comes back. Doesn't wrestle a single match after leaving me high and dry. And now he thinks he can dictate terms to me? Hell no.

    Shannan Lerch: That's right. Stand up for yourself Seth. Who does Madd Dogg think he is?

    Zach Davis: Wait? Seth tells Dogg to leave....and now he's complaining about Dogg not wrestling? That's retarded.

    Shannan Lerch: Watch your mouth. He's a genius.

    Seth Lerch: I may have been tricked into letting your pathetic ass back into WCF Madd Dogg, but I'm sure as hell not going to do this retarded match with you.

    Shannan Lerch: Good for you Seth, put your foot down.

    Zach Davis: WHAT A COWARD!

    Seth Lerch: So, Dogg. Since you haven't seen fit to show your face this far, don't bother doing it now. The match is cancelled.

    Zach Davis: THAT'S BULLSHIT! The fans are furious. They're booing like crazy.

    Shannan Lerch: The hell with the fans! What do they know? Madd Dogg is a thorn is Seth's side and he just removed.....What the hell?

    Zach Davis: Well, apparently either the ring staff don't care, or someone's giving them the goahead anyway.

    Shannan Lerch: Those morons are lowering the cage, even after Seth said not to? Someone's going to get fired!

    Seth Lerch: What are you doing? Raise this cage immediately! I demand it damnit!

    Shannan Lerch: OH CRAP!

    Zach Davis: The lights just went out. That can't be good for....well.....anybody.

    Shannan Lerch: At least we have emergency lights.

    Zach Davis: Why are emergency lights always blue?

    Seth Lerch: Someone shine spotlights on the top of the Sethtron. I'll be damned if we're going to let him screw around with my show. Security, be there to get him.

    Shannan Lerch: They're shining the spotlight, but no one's there.


    Shannan Lerch: Oh good God. Seth turn around. Look behind you.

    Zach Davis: Seth is looking at the stage and Sethtron. But ladies and gentlemen, the middle of the ring is beginning to rise.

    Shannan Lerch: What is it?

    Zach Davis: If the fact that it was a human shape didn't give it away, I think that katana piercing the apron says it all. Madd Dogg's not coming in through the Sethtron, or the stage, or even the audience. He's coming straight up through the ring, presumably straight from hell.

    Shannan Lerch: Creepy bastard. Something wrong with him.

    Zach Davis: The fact that he seems more like a ghost than a human?

    Shannan Lerch: This makes me sick, he's just standing right behind my brother.

    Zach Davis: The ring posts explode, giving Seth chance enough to flinch. And he throws Seth face first into the cage. Security's not going to do Seth any good outside of the cage.

    Shannan Lerch: Someone do something!

    Zach Davis: Dogg is doing something. Killing your brother.

    Shannan Lerch: NO! The ref just saw Dogg and Seth in the ring and rang the bell.

    Zach Davis: I'd say the match is officially no longer cancelled.

    Shannan Lerch: Dear Lord.

    Zach Davis: Perhaps some of you are confused at home as to why a dirty whore like Shannan would suddenly be trying to find God. Well you see, her brother's going to die!

    Shannan Lerch: Shut up Zach! I fugging hate you.

    Zach Davis: Who's music is this?

    Shannan Lerch: Thats... Luscious Jackson, I thought he was gone. Or hoped anyway.

    Zach Davis: What are you doing out here?

    Luscious Jackson: Dogg asked me to come out?

    Shannan Lerch: Why? I thought Dogg hated you.

    Luscious Jackson: Probably, but he hates Seth more. And Sethh hates me, so.,....

    Shannan Lerch: So again, Dogg's being a dick.

    Zach Davis: Yea, that's fascinating, but back to something that matters. This isn't just a normal cage match! No, Dogg can't do anything normally. This is escape only, the way a cage match should be. Not like that pin or submit crap in the cage that WWF does that completely negates the point of a cage match.

    Shannan Lerch: WWE.

    Zach Davis: What?

    Shannan Lerch: Get the "F" out.

    Zach Davis: That was lame when they started it. Now it's just old and unwanted. Like your crotch.

    Shannan Lerch: Or you could just die and the morgue can get your corpse the "F" out of here. I don't care. Just leave somehow.

    Zach Davis: HA, funny! Whore!

    Luscious Jackson: You two fight like cats and Doggs. Get it? Doggs?

    Shannan Lerch: And you're a bad joke out of the 70s. They're dead. And you chould be too.

    Zach Davis: Anyway as I was saying. Dogg insisted there NOT be a door on the side of the cage. That would be lame he said. Noo easy escape. To that measure, he had them install razor wire at the top of the cage, all the way around. Anyone who wants out is gonna have a hard time getting out.

    Shannan Lerch: This is sick.

    Zach Davis: Dogg whips Seth into the ropes and hits him with a kitchen sink as he comes back.

    Shannan Lerch: My poor brother. He's down in the ring. And Dogg is applying a choke hold to tear my brother apart.

    Zach Davis: Quite effectively I might add. Why's Madd Dogg picking Seth up in a choke hold? OH SICK!

    Shannan Lerch: That's not possible.

    Zach Davis: He just suplexed Seth from a choke hold right onto the top of Seth's head.

    Shannan Lerch: And he has the nerve to find it funny? That animal just pinned Seth and counted to three. Well.....at least this match is over.

    Zach Davis: Um, but it's not Shannan. There are no pinfalls or submissions. Just sheer brutality and escape. I think Dogg just did that to mock your brother. To let him know it's over whenever he wants it to be.

    Shannan Lerch: That bastard!

    Zach Davis: Dogg slingshots Seth into the cage. As Seth staggers back....

    Shannan Lerch: A schoolboy? What the hell is this? Dogg knows he can't pin Seth. It was HIS RULE! Why does he keep trying?

    Zach Davis: And again, Dogg counts the three with his own hand. He's just playing with Seth.

    Shannan Lerch: Let it end.

    Zach Davis: But it doesn't. Dogg has gotten Seth into the hangman and, putting a foot on the ropes for leverage, is pulling back on Seth's legs. Tearing him apart almost like drawing and quartering.

    Shannan Lerch: Why doesn't the ref do something?

    Zach Davis: What would you suggest he do?

    Shannan Lerch: I don't know.....something?

    Zach Davis: He's not even in the ring!

    Shannan Lerch: .............Shut up!

    Zach Davis: Dogg has released Seth from the hold, but has followed it with a drop kick to the back of the head which bounces Seth's face off the cage again.

    Shannan Lerch: I don't know how much more Seth can take of this.

    Zach Davis: Wel, he can always escape if he wants.

    Shannan Lerch: COME ONE! This is my brother we're talking about! He's not an athlete! Hell, he gets winded running to the car in the rain. He's not going to outrun Madd Dogg and climb the cage like a....like a...Mexican crossing the border.

    Zach Davis: That was horribly racist.

    Shannan Lerch: And you're a faggot, so it all evens out.

    Zach Davis: Wow, another bitter comment from the president of the "I can't get a date so all guys must be gay" club.

    Shannan Lerch: FINALLY! Some offense from my brother! He slapped Dogg!

    Zach Davis: Which, in the grand scheme of things, was probably a really stupid idea. Dogg has his katana out. And.....wow, I've never seen someone get dry beaten before. It really is brutal.

    Shannan Lerch: THAT'S ILLEGAL!

    Zach Davis: Cage match! No rules.

    Shannan Lerch: Yea....but. Sigh. I give up.

    Zach Davis: Good, the less you speak, the better the ratings!

    Shannan Lerch: What is Dogg doing now?

    Zach Davis: It appears he's going for a powerbomb.....right into the turnbuckle. Jesus that looked awful.

    Shannan Lerch: Stop critiquing Madd Dogg's style.

    Zach Davis: No I was more talking bout the sound Seth's corpse made. Or the way his neck and head hit the turnbuckle. Or the way he folded when he hit the ground. Or the way...

    Shannan Lerch: Thank you. We got it. Enough already. Shut the hell up.

    Zach Davis: Seth is motionless, possibly dead....

    Shannan Lerch: But when would that stop dear ol Dogg from causing Havoc?

    Zach Davis: He's putting him in the Sharpshooter....

    Shannan Lerch: It looks like he's combined the Sharpshooter with the Walls of Jericho. He's got Seth's legs over his shoulder. Dear Lord.

    Zach Davis: Another God reference, better watch it, or your Johns will think you're going straight.

    Shannan Lerch: Ugh, at least I can send them to you.

    Zach Davis: So you are a hooker! I knew it!

    Shannan Lerch: Why does God allow you to continue breathing?

    Luscious Jackson: DYNOMITE!

    Shannan Lerch: I'm surrounded by morons.

    Zach Davis: And if we each had 20 bucks, we'd be customers.

    Shannan Lerch: Grr, Dogg whips Seth to the ropes and goes for a clothesline, BUT MY BROTHER DUCKS. He comes back with a clothesline of his own. He took Dogg off his feet. Dogg gets up, but Seth takes him right back down with a drop kick.

    Zach Davis: Bravo.

    Luscious Jackson: I can't believe it. Maybe white boys really can jump. He got some hang time on that.

    Zach Davis: Dogg looks shocked.

    Luscious Jackson: He probably didn't expect Seth to get in any real offense. So, Seth surprised him. Now all Seth has to do to win is keep that surprise going, and maybe, just maybe, he can escape.

    Zach Davis: That was surprisingly deep Luscious.

    Luscious Jackson: Yea well, aint no thing but a chicken wing.

    Shannan Lerch: It was a fluke. And it went right back out the window.

    Zach Davis: And the mild amoun t of respect I got for you is gone again.

    Shannan Lerch: My brothers going for a flying splash in the corner.

    Zach Davis: And Dogg catches him with one arm.

    Luscious Jackson: He's doing some wird spinny thing.

    Zach Davis: He says he stole this move from some crazy Japanese wrestler he killed...

    Shannan Lerch: I know his matches are brutal, but to say he killed the guy is a bit much.

    Zach Davis: Um, no Dogg says he stabbed his sixteen times. And anyway, the move is supposedly called the dolphin backbreaker.

    Luscious Jackson: Oh wow, he dropped him right on his knee after spinning around half a dozen times.

    Zach Davis: The momentum makes it hurt more.

    Shannan Lerch: I doubt Seth felt it either way.

    Zach Davis: I know you think your brother is Superman.

    Shannan Lerch: Um, no, I think he's in shock.

    Luscious Jackson: Dude got drool coming out of his mouth.

    Shannan Lerch: Shut up, he does not.....OK maybe he does.

    Zach Davis: Dogg's picking up Seth.....for God only knows what.

    Shannan Lerch: And Seth pulls out a low blow. Thank God, he's saved. He's going to climb the cage.

    Luscious Jackson: Dude pulled that out of nowhere. Hey guys, where is nowhere? And why does Seth keep pulling moves out of it.

    Shannan Lerch: SHUT UP!

    Zach Davis: Well, I hate to ruin the party, but the low blow doesn't seem to have affected Madd Dogg much. He didn'y fall, he doesn't even look hurt. Just angry. Maybe it's true, maybe Dogg doesn't feel any pain.

    Shannan Lerch: Or maybe he just has no balls.

    Zach Davis: Either way, your brother is in some massive trouble.

    Shannan Lerch: I mean really, what kinda guy is unaffected by a low blow.

    Luscious Jackson: I don't think Seth realized his move didnt work. He's still trying to climb the cage.

    Zach Davis: And Madd Dogg is back on him. He's running. And....spear. Right into the cage. Seth is just hanging by a finger.

    Luscious Jackson: Well, Dogg's going up after him.

    Shannan Lerch: He's climbed the ropes, circled his arms around Seth's waist, and he just german suplexed him right off the ropes. Seth tried to hold on, but I bet that maniac broke his fingers with that one.

    Zach Davis: He's not done, he goes for a second, almost like he's placing Seth for something. He hits a third, spinning, right into the side of the cage. Seth crumples....AGAIN. He's doing that a lot this match.

    Shannan Lerch: Now he's grabbing Seth, face down on the ground, and lifting him by the waist to....drop him back on his head again. My brother is dead already. Just leave so we can bury him.

    Zach Davis: I think that's called a russian neck drop or something. Anyway, it looks like Dogg is going to fulfill your wish. He's climbing the cage.

    Shannan Lerch: There IS a God.

    Zach Davis: And if he exists for all the men on fourth street, you'll stilll be their "supplier".

    Luscious Jackson: Yo, Seth is down. I think Dogg straight up killed that dude.

    Zach Davis: Thank you Luscious. Why don't you....you know, stop talking.

    Shannan Lerch: And while you're at it....stop breathing.

    Zach Davis: Oh, scratch that, Dogg's not done, he's wrapping his leg with barbed wire from the tope off the cage. And he dives back in.

    Shannan Lerch: A leg drop to my poor dead brother, with that leg wrapped in barbed wire.

    Luscious Jackson: You know, for a dead dude, he screams a lot.

    Shannan Lerch: He's not really dead you moron.

    Zach Davis: What is this....Ortega is running to the ring?

    Shannan Lerch: Finally, someone's going to do something. He's got a chair. He's tossing it in.

    Zach Davis: Dogg didn't see the chair, but he and Ortega are exchanging words. And some pretty nasty hand gestures.

    Shannan Lerch: My brother's got the chair. He cracked it across the back of Dogg's head. Dogg spins around, and Seth gets it across his forehead. Dogg is down. Climb Seth!

    Zach Davis: He's going up. He's actually at the top.

    Luscious Jackson: And Dogg is movingagain. I don't think anything can keep this dude down.

    Shannan Lerch: Well, my brother's at the top. And damnit no. He's having problems with the barbed wire.

    Zach Davis: Dogg's pulling on his leg. He's trying to kick him off, but Dogg won't let go. Both men are on top of the cage.

    Luscious Jackson: These two fools are trading punches. Probably don't realize any wrong move can send them plummeting twenty feet to the concrete, and certain death.

    Zach Davis: Dogg grabs Seth, and DDTs him right onto the barbed wire.

    Shannan Lerch: The fans are right to chant holy shit. That was awful. Dogg picks him back up. There is no humanity in this man.

    Zach Davis: And he delivers a stomach cruncher, but instead of it being on his knee, it's on the top of the cage. Seth rolls off, and gets stuck in the barbed wire. He's just hanging there by his leg. Dogg's using the katana to cut him free.

    Shannan Lerch: Perhaps he finally plans to end this. Seth falls hard to the ground and lands on his head. The medical bills are going to be huge.

    Zach Davis: Dogg's looking down at Seth. Not more. Please God, just climb down. No, of course not.

    Shannan Lerch: After all my brother has been through, he just Mad Splashed him.

    Zach Davis: And now he's got the chair and is going to town on Seth.

    Luscious Jackson: Funky town?

    Zach Davis: No. Shut up. He's wrapping the chair around Seth's head, and applying the Trampling Clutch!

    Shannan Lerch: My brother's not going to be able to walk.

    Zach Davis: No, that move is violent enough without pressure on the head. There's not much life in Seth. But it looks like he's trying to tap out.

    Shannan Lerch: Dogg goes for a moonsault. But Seth gets the knees up.

    Luscious Jackson: Desperation move if I ever saw one.

    Zach Davis: It's people like you that make me hate Affirmative Action.

    Shannan Lerch: Seth picks up Dogg with what could be his last ounce of Strength, and Dogg Pound on the chair. Don't go for the cover Seth, there's no ref to count.

    Luscious Jackson: All those shots to the head done scrambled his brain. He can't think right.

    Zach Davis: The audience are counting, but that doesn't matter. Seth finally gets the hint. He slides the chair out from under Dogg and places it on his face, then he does a leg drop.

    Shannan Lerch: Leave Seth. Don't grab the chair, don't do anymore just leave.

    Luscious Jackson: Both these men want to hurt each other, not just Dogg. Seth wants to inflict some kinda pain on Dogg too. If the dude can feel pain.

    Zach Davis: He takes a swing but Dogg ducks. The chair hiits the rope and bounces right back up into Seth's face. He staggers back into a Stunner.

    Luscious Jackson: He dropped the chair.

    Shannan Lerch: I knew he should've left. Dogg has Seth. He wants to return the favor. Dogg Pound on a chair.

    Zach Davis: At least he's climbing now. Wait, no he stopped. He looked down and he's droppoing back to Seth. He's just beating him with the chair.

    Shannan Lerch: The ref outside is begging him to stop, but he wont.

    Zach Davis: The ref just called for the bell. Can he do that?

    Shannan Lerch: Well, apparently, he just did. He's calling for the cage to be raised.

    Luscious Jackson: Dogg doesn't look too happpy. In fact he's going double time on Seth now.

    Zach Davis: It takes several minutes to raise that cage.

    Shannan Lerch: A ref slid in under in and is trying to get Dogg off Seth. Come on ref.

    Zach Davis: And in a blind rage....Dogg floor the ref with the chair. He's now locked THE REF in the Trampling Clutch. More refs are running down and into the ring.

    Luscious Jackson: Dogg gets the first one before he even stands, Stunner. Then he begins doling out chair shots again.

    Zach Davis: No one wants that, so the refs are staying back. Someone's trying to pull Seth out the other side.

    Shannan Lerch: Oh, God. Dogg's not going to allow that. He pulled out his katan and slammed in where the dude's hand used to be. He's lucky he moved it in time.

    Zach Davis: And Dogg is dragging Seth up the cage while it rises.

    Shannan Lerch: The crew are already turning it off so he doesn't get Seth too high.

    Luscious Jackson: Both fools are on top of the cage again, and Dogg is hammering away at Seth. A chair shot is always brutal, but it's even more so when accompanied by a 25 foot fall.

    Shannan Lerch: He's got Seth, and he's locking his foot in the grating. Why?

    Zach Davis: Cause he's going to suplex him off the side of the cage.

    Shannan Lerch: NO. Get the SWAT team. Get some snipers. Do something.

    Zach Davis: Too late, he just threw Seth right off the cage. He just landed right on the ground.

    Luscious Jackson: And now he's coming after him.

    Zach Davis: He's found the guy with the controls. He floors the guy and grabs the control before looking at Seth.

    Shannan Lerch: HEY! What's going on. I can't see!

    Zach Davis: The lights just went out again. All we can hear is some nasty...NASTY sounds.

    Luscious Jackson: There are the lights.

    Shannan Lerch: MY GOD!

    Zach Davis: Dogg is gone, but Seth is hanging from the cage in a makeshift noose of cable wire. And the cage is slowly rising again. Everyone's trying to get him down before he gets out of reach.

    Shannan Lerch: Dogg's even worse than before.

    Luscious Jackson: He's made Dogg BITCH! What? Wrong time?

    Zach Davis: For better or for worse.

    Shannan Lerch: Definately for worse.

    Zach Davis: Madd Dogg is back.

    Luscious Jackson: Remember his first promos?

    Zach Davis: Yeah. Why?

    Luscious Jackson: Remember that little girl who used to say "No one can help you now?"

    Zach Davis: Yea.

    Luscious Jackson: It's very true now.

  • The War Match
  • Shannan Lerch: Well.. after all that... it's time for The War.

    Zach Davis: That's right. Every thirty seconds someone else enters, and that ring fills up fast.

    Luscious Jackson: Can't wait to see who the first two are.

    Shannan Lerch: Well, here comes number one... oh, crap.

    Zach Davis: It's Metallica's The Struggle Within! Logan has drawn number one!

    Luscious Jackson: He seems pretty confident about it.

    Shannan Lerch: Well, up next... it's another Metallica song.. Harvester of Sorrow! Here comes Dake Ken!

    Zach Davis: He better hope that Trent Hunter gets into the match soon, you know he wants him. But oh, look at this, Logan and Dake are starting things off with an explosion as they throw punch after punch!

    Luscious Jackson: Logan throws Dake to the other side of the ropes, and ooh, mean Clothesline there. Logan now stomps the fallen Dake.

    Shannan Lerch: He's doing a good job on him, but he better not wear himself out. They should both be taking this match slowly at first. If they want to win, they have a lot more men to go through.

    Zach Davis: Logan has Dake up now, and he's in the turnbuckle. Logan lifts Dake up.. OH, Dake punches Logan. Logan goes back, and Dake hops down. What's he going for?

    Luscious Jackson: OH! T-Bone Suplex! Dake goes for the pin, let's see here... One, two, no, Logan kicks out.

    Shannan Lerch: Dake picks Logan up, and picks him up, Fireman's Carry.. oh, wait, no, Logan's sliding behind Dake. He hits a Reverse DDT!

    Zach Davis: Lots of high risk moves very quickly into this match.. but here comes the third man. The Messenjah by P.O.D. is playing... and it's RECKLESS JACK! He looks totally different, no more mask! He's also wearing jean shorts and all.

    Luscious Jackson: He's on the apron, and I think he yelled something to Logan. Logan turns around.. oh! Springboard Bodypress!

    Shannan Lerch: And now Jack runs to one side of the ring.. Rolling Thunder on Dake Ken! He's kicking all kinds of ass.

    Zach Davis: Look at him now, he's waiting for Logan to get up. He goes for a Shining Wizard, no, Logan ducks it! Logan then trips him and hits a quick elbow drop.. no, Jack rolls away, and Jack kicks at Logan now. Jack picks Logan up and... OH! DDT!

    Luscious Jackson: Jack sure used his time off wisely, that daddio looks better than ever. I mighta spoke too soon, Dake is up now... Jack turns around.. Superkick to Jack, and he's down.

    Shannan Lerch: Dake is going on the attack on both men now, kicking both. Time for a new man. Therapy by Finger Eleven is playing... and it's Suicide! He's running down the ramp and right in, attacking Dake Ken.

    Zach Davis: I'm sure there's some animosity there, none of the tag teams were ever found of DKX. Regardless, Suicide is holding his own here, he just hit a Side Russian Legsweep. He then stomps Dake a bit, but Logan is up. Logan's stomping on Dake too, working with Suicide.

    Luscious Jackson: Logan ain't no dumb mother, he knows that he needs to wear down Dake. And that's what those two are doing. They're picking him up now... bam, Suicide and Logan hit a Linked Clothesline, Dake back down to the mat.

    Shannan Lerch: Reckless Jack is getting up now, he's behind Logan. He Dropkicks Logan in the back, ooh, Logan flies right into the turnbuckle. He stumbles back, and Jack catches him... OH! DIAMOND CUTTER INTO REVERSE DDT!

    Zach Davis: Very innovative move. Jack covers... One, two... No, Logan kicks out. Meanwhile, Dake is up, and he and Suicide are fighting. Suicide throws him into the ropes... No, Dake reverses it, Suicide into the ropes instead... Dake leapfrogs over him... Dake hits a Mule Kick, and follows up with a Side Effect!

    Luscious Jackson: Good move by Dake. Logan and Jack are fighting again, and they've gone to the outside. Logan throws him into the guardrail, and then catches him and hits a Backdrop onto the floor. That looked wack.

    Shannan Lerch: Um.. wack indeed. Anyhow, Logan grabs Jack, and he's twisting him... ooh, STF! And what's that I hear? That's Duality, by Slipknot... WCF's newest wrestler, Wreck, is coming to the ring. Oh, no, he doesn't go inside... instead he joins Logan in kicking at Reckless Jack.

    Zach Davis: Logan turns, punches Wreck a few times. Wreck fights back, being very fresh while Logan is at least a little worn out. Wreck grabs Logan's throat and OH!! Chokeslam! Wreck makes the pin, and the ref rolls out to count. One... two...

    Luscious Jackson: Logan gets the shoulder up. That would be a great way for a cat like Wreck to make his impact, eliminating Logan. Anyhow, Wreck picks Logan up, and throws him into the guardrail. Logan can't keep taking punishment like this if he wants to win.

    Shannan Lerch: Reckless Jack is back up, and he rolls into the ring. He tackles Suicide down and starts throwing punches. And look at Dake, he's resting. Smart move. This match has been all out from the beginning, and I'm surprised there haven't been any pinfalls yet.

    Zach Davis: Dake going back on the outside now, and he's assisting Wreck, kicking at Logan. Dake picks Logan up and hits a Snake Eyes on the guardrail! Ouch, that had to hurt, Logan falls to the ground. Dake then kicks Wreck, and they're fighting now.

    Shannan Lerch: Again, Wreck has a slight advantage, he hasn't been in the match near as long as Dake. And I hear music playing... It's God Bless the USA! Klubber Klabanski is in the house. He's running down to the ring, and inside, and goes to kicking Suicide. I guess there must be hard feelings from the tag team division.

    Luscious Jackson: And look yo, back on the outside, Dake and Wreck. Dake just tripped Wreck, sending him right into the turnbuckle. Wreck stumbles back... Dake picks him up, OH! DEATH VALLEY DRIVER ON THE OUTSIDE! He makes the pin, and the ref is on the outside. One... two...

    Zach Davis: Three. Wreck is gone, folks. Dake turns to Logan now, who is still on the ground outside, and stomps on him a bit. These two seem to have a bit of a rivalry in this match, since they're both 'big names' and were the first ones to compete.

    Shannan Lerch: Back in the ring, Klabanski has Suicide up. He's setting him up for something... OH! Pump Handle Slam! And we have another pin. One. Two.

    Luscious Jackson: No, Suicide kicks out. That was close. Klubber picks Suicide up, and Suicide starts fighting back. Suicide throws Klubber into the ropes and OH! Spineacide! Great move. Both of them are resting on the mat now.

    Zach Davis: But look, Reckless Jack is up. He jumps up to the top, what's he going for? He flies off... Corkscrew Moonsault onto both Suicide and Klabanski! It looks like it took a lot out of Jack though too, I think, he's not moving. He might have been able to get a pin there.

    Shannan Lerch: Remedy by Cold is playing, and here comes the Cruiserweight Champion, Nate Nytro. I don't know if the smaller guys have the same endurance as the bigger guys, but we'll see. Nytro is going right after Jack, the former Cruiserweight Champ.

    Luscious Jackson: Nytro stomps Reckless Jack a few times, and picks him up. He throws him to the ropes and then hits a Hip Toss. Look, now he's going up top... what could this be?

    Zach Davis: I don't know, but it looks like Jack is getting up. Yeah... Nytro flies off with a Whisper in the Wind! He pins Jack, can lightning strike twice? ONE! TWO!

    Shannan Lerch: Kickout! So close. Let's see now, on the outside, Logan and Dake are still fighting. Are they ever gonna get back in the ring? Logan gets the advantage and kicks Dake, oh! Single Arm DDT! Great move!

    Luscious Jackson: Logan looks like he's going to pin Dake.. but no, he decides against it, and keeps kicking him instead. Looks like Klabanski and Suicide are back up, Klabanski hits an Inverted DDT. He then climbs to the top and hits a Fist Drop. He pins. One.. two...

    Zach Davis: No. But here's more music.. it's God of Thunder, by the one and only Kiss. And that means we're seeing the arrival of the one and only Outcast. He's coming down to the ring slowly, eyeing up whats going on.

    Shannan Lerch: That's seven people in this match at once, no one wants to lose! Outcast is walking around the ring, it looks like he's headed for Logan or Dake, over there. But wait.. Reckless Jack just hit a Springboard Corkscrew Crossbody onto him! Amazing move!

    Luscious Jackson: These cats have no love lost between em. And look, amazingly, they're both up pretty fast. Outcast goes for a Clothesline, but Jack ducks, kicks him, and hits the New Blood Rising!

    Zach Davis: That's it! That's it! We might see Outcast eliminated this fast! Jack is pinning! One!

    Shannan Lerch: Tw-.. no! Outcast kicks out after ONE! Oh my God! Jack's amazed, and he picks Outcast up. He hits a right hand, but Outcast blocks it and hits a right hand of his own. Outcast punches him a few more times and then Piledrives him on the outside. Jack must be hurt.

    Luscious Jackson: And look, now Outcast is making his way over to where he originally intended, Dake Ken and Logan. He grabs Logan from behind, Reverse DDT. As Outcast gets up Dake starts attacking him... maybe not too smart, considering Outcast is so fresh.

    Zach Davis: It looks like Dake is doing a good job though, Outcast seems to be hurting. Dake continues working on him... yeah, looking good.. oh! Dake hits a mean Sidewalk Slam on Outcast.

    Shannan Lerch: Reckless Jack is back in the ring, and amazingly, he's dominating. Everyone is either down or on the outside.

    Luscious Jackson: Reckless Jack raising his arms in the air, and the crowds booing. But wait-

    Zach Davis: What the hell? The lights... they've just gone out. What's going on?

    Shannan Lerch: Who is touching my leg? And.. AHH! STOP TOUCHING ME!

    Luscious Jackson: It was Zach, not me, I promise. Here come the lights, and oh shit! In the ring! Look who it is!

    Zach Davis: Creeping Death! He's assaulting Reckless Jack, and he hits the FOR WHOM THE BELL TOLLS! And a pin! Could this be it for Jack? One!

    Shannan Lerch: TWO!

    Luscious Jackson: THREE!

    Zach Davis: Reckless Jack, the bell has tolled for you! The crowd roars as Creeping Death.. wait, Nytro just rolled him up from behind. There's the one, two..

    Shannan Lerch: Three! The Cruiserweight Champion pinned Creeping Death! Jack, who was just walking up the ramp, is pointing and laughing. Creeps is furious, and rolls out of the ring, chasing Jack. Everyone backstage better get ready to have to seperate those two.

    Luscious Jackson: Back to the action, STILL on the outside, Logan, Dake, and Outcast are all brawling with each other. Logan ducks a Clothesline by Outcast, and then throws him into the ring. Dake grabs Logan, knees him a few times, and then rolls him in as well. And Dake follows... finally, everyone's back inside.

    Zach Davis: All six of them. That ring is full. Dake starts kicking at whomever he can find, and Logan keeps working on Outcast. He locks in an STF. Good submission move by a good submissionist. Suicide is up, and he approaches Klabanski, but Nytro is on the ropes and goes for a Missile Dropkick. Suicide sidesteps it and then.. Suicide DDT!

    Shannan Lerch: And someone else is coming. It's Priest. We're back up to seven men in here at once. Priest rolls in and picks up Outcast, I guess he didn't tap out to Logan earlier. Outcast pushes Priest away, and yells in his face. Looks like we've got a battle of monsters.

    Luscious Jackson: Priest throws a few punches, and Outcast blocks each of them. Outcast throws Priest to the ropes and hits a Clothesline, Priest goes down to one knee! Amazing! Outcast goes for a Nail in the Coffin.. no, Priest is too big, he can't do it. Priest hits a Russian Legsweep, and Outcast is down.

    Zach Davis: Logan is up, and.. OH! Klubber just hit him with a huge Thrust Kick! Klubber then turns to Nate Nytro, and he hits the Polish Hammer move a few times... and here it is, he hits that stomach on top of head Backbreaker of his! He pins the Cruiser Champ.

    Shannan Lerch: One.. two..

    Luscious Jackson: Three. Nytro's outta there. Klabanski stands up, victorious, but wait. Here's Suicide, out of nowhere. He picks Klabanski up.. Death Penalty! Good move. And he's climbing the ropes... what's he going to do up there?

    Zach Davis: I'll give you one guess. Sui-Sault! That's a pinning combination. One! Two!

    Shannan Lerch: Three! Another elimination, in a matter of mere seconds! And I can hear Smack My Bitch Up playing.. yup, here comes Jason Tilley. And this is GREAT news for Dake Ken. Right now he's being attacked by Logan.

    Luscious Jackson: Tilley rolls into the ring, and yup, he goes right for Logan. He hits a few forearms to the back, and then shoves him into the corner. He rapidly punches him, wow, I've never seen fists fly so fast. And Dake is up now... both of them are kicking at Logan. That's not good for him.

    Zach Davis: And let's see what else is going on. It seems like Priest and Suicide have made some kind of pact, because they're both working over Outcast. They pick him up and throw him to the ropes... good Double Armdrag.

    Shannan Lerch: Outcast barely seems fazed, he's standing up. In fact, wow, he seems really angry. He grabs both Suicide and Priest by the throats, and goes to lift them up... he gets Suicide up, but no, Priest is too big. He quickly slams Suicide down but it's too late, Priest has already had time to take advantage. Priest kicks Outcast several times... and grabs his throat.

    Luscious Jackson: Priest hits a Chokeslam on Outcast! Pin! That's right, bitches! One! Two!

    Zach Davis: That's wrong, bitches! Outcast kicks out! Priest is amazed. And uh oh... here we go. Tip Your Bartender is playing... and here comes TRENT HUNTER! He runs down the ramp, and as he slides in, Tilley and Dake turn their attention right to him! They both run at him, but he hits a Double Clothesline.

    Shannan Lerch: Hunter kicks at both of them, but he can't take care of both of them, they're starting to get up. He grabs Dake and throws him to the ropes, goes to Clothesline him, but Dake ducks. Trent turns and Dake goes for something, but Trent blocks it, and hits a huge Powerbomb!

    Luscious Jackson: Dake rolls out. Tilley's beating on Hunter now, and throws him to the ropes. Jason goes for a Back Bodydrop but Trent sees what he's doing, Trent hits a Facebuster. Tilley rolls out too, and Trent's cleared the ring of the Elite!

    Zach Davis: Wait.. what's that music? It can't be...

    Shannan Lerch: It's The Red. That's X's music. The World Champion is here!

    Luscious Jackson: Trent is looking towards the entranceway, motioning "bring it". The crowd is on the edge of their seats, after last week all they want is for Trent and X to go at it...

    Zach Davis: Trent gets hit with a Missile Dropkick from behind! And it's... Electra?! We forgot, she's in the War match too, crap, X isn't going to be here at all. The crowd boos heavily as Electra does her best to keep Trent down.

    Shannan Lerch: YAY! GO ELECTRA!

    Luscious Jackson: She's the eighth person in this match right now. And Dake and Tilley are back in the ring... all three Elite members are beating down Trent.

    Zach Davis: Oh, look, Suicide is on the top rope. He's going to hit a-

    Shannan Lerch: No, Outcast punches him, and climbs up. Outcast is setting up the... Black Out! He hits it perfectly, and then pits Suicide. One... two...

    Luscious Jackson: And there's the three. Suicide going up to the top rope was.. well... suicide. Priest attacks Outcast now.. and uh, I have no idea where Logan is, but whatever. And the Elite are still going all out on the Lone Wolf, who truely IS a lone wolf now.

    Zach Davis: Yeah, whenever he tries to get up, they just stomp him right back down. And here's In My Life by Juvenile, the crowd roars... Gravedigger! He's running down to the ring, slides in, and goes right to Priest, as we expected.

    Shannan Lerch: Gravedigger Clotheslines Priest to the ground, but Priest is back up. Another Clothesline, Priest back up again. This time Gravedigger catches Priest and picks him up.. looks like he's going for a.. wait, no.. he's in position...

    Luscious Jackson: Death Driver! He pins Priest, and it's academic. One, two, three, Priest is outta here. And oh, Gravedigger gets hit with a chair from behind!

    Zach Davis: It's Logan! Logan's snapped! He hates Gravedigger with a PASSION, and now he's smashing him over and over with a chair. There are no disqualifications in this match, but that kind of behavior isn't what we were planning on seeing. Look in Logan's eyes.. he's lost it.

    Shannan Lerch: Outcast is sensing that Logan needs to be stopped. He grabs the chair from him, and BAM! Outcast with a chair to Logan's head! Logan is sent into the turnbuckle. Outcast sets the chair down and picks Logan up onto the top.. and what's he doing?

    Luscious Jackson: Superplex onto the chair! Outcast throws the chair out of the ring now, and Gravedigger is back up. He spins Outcast around and hits a Gutwrench Suplex.

    Zach Davis: But look, look, Trent's starting to get some offense in against The Elite! He's hitting lefts and rights wherever he can against all three of them! Electra goes down, Tilley's down, Dake blocks a punch, Trent kicks him instead and Powerbombs him to the mat! He then grabs Electra's legs... Boston Leglock!

    Shannan Lerch: That asshole! How dare he apply a move like that to a woman! She's tapping out, and I don't blame her!

    Luscious Jackson: But that cat is pissed, he ain't lettin go. He's tryin to send a message to X-Rated. Looks like the ref is threatening to disqualify him, he let's it go, Electra rolls out of the ring.

    Zach Davis: Trent's down to two Elite members to contend with now, and that's still not exactly an easy task. But I Am #1 by Nelly's playing, that means it's time for The Natural. He's coming down to the ring now, pretty calmly. He rolls in, and starts kicking Tilley.

    Shannan Lerch: I think Walker thinks that if he eliminates Tilley, maybe he'll earn some kind of Elite Title shot. At any rate, he picks Tilley up, and throws him to the ropes. Armdrag. He then applies an Armbar. Good technical moves there, kinda uncharacteristic from Walker.

    Luscious Jackson: Gravedigger, Outcast, and Logan are still going at it, doesn't look like anyone's gaining much ground. I'll remind you, Gravedigger and Logan are both former winners. Gravedigger grabs both of their heads... Meeting of the Minds! Who does he think he is, Hulk Hogan?

    Zach Davis: No, Gravedigger's actually a wrestler. Anyway, both men stumble back, and Logan goes out of the ring. He's smart, he knows he needs to rest. But Gravedigger's focusing on Outcast now, kicking.. but now he's climbing up to the top rope. Could it be?

    Shannan Lerch: I think he's going to go for Death From Above... but no, Logan climbs up onto the apron, and pushes him off! Gravedigger collapses back down to the mat, hitting hard. Logan gets in the ring and both he and Outcast stomp at Gravedigger.

    Luscious Jackson: I hear Perfect Strangers by Deep Purple. And that means it's time for the one and only Epic. A true, true veteran of WCF, he started at the bottom... but I think he's ready to make his way to the top. Let's see.

    Zach Davis: He's joining Logan and Outcast in beating down Gravedigger. Meanwhile, Hunter and Dake Ken are brawling, and what a faceoff that is. I'm sure there's a lot of animosity about who is the better man. Just think if either of them wins... Hunter vs X-Rated or Dake Ken vs X-Rated? Both are dream matches.

    Shannan Lerch: Yeah, well, so is Dake Ken vs Trent Hunter, so shut up about the future and talk about the present. Trent looks to be having the advantage, connecting with several elbows, but wait, no, Dake blocked one. Belly to Belly Suplex! Dake's unloading on Trent now like we've never seen before.

    Luscious Jackson: That fight ain't about winnin the War, it's about pride. If Dake pins Trent.. oh man. It wouldn't be an upset, exactly, but ya know.

    Zach Davis: Gravedigger just rolled out of the ring, and Epic and Logan are focusing their attack on Outcast now. They both kick him and then follow up with a Double Suplex... seems to me like they're working together well. You know, they were both in the team of-

    Shannan Lerch: Don't even say it, Zach. But yeah, Epic and Logan both stomping Outcast now, and Epic locks in the Maple Leaf! Will Outcast tap out?

    Luscious Jackson: He seems like no, no he won't. Back to Tilley and Sylk, it looks like Sylk has gotten the upper hand, and he's up top. He flies off with a Top Rope Backflip Leg Drop! Oh shizzit! That move was dope.

    Zach Davis: Dope, indeed. He picks Tilley up and throws him into the turnbuckle, picks him up, he hits a Top Rope Belly to Back Suplex! What a move! Is he going to pin?

    Shannan Lerch: ..No, he's not. He's climbing to the top again.. what now? He flies off, hitting his namesake, The Natural! This is a pin now, one.. two...

    Luscious Jackson: Three! Tilley, the Elite Champ, is gone! Maybe Sylk will get his shot sometime down the line. Hell, maybe he'll win a shot at the World Title tonight, you never know.

    Zach Davis: And as if to make up for the loss of Tilley, 800 by Saliva is playing, and Fugitive is making his way out from the back. I'm sure Davey Ortega would be quite happy if he won.

    Shannan Lerch: Fugitive rolls in, and he's attacking Walker. He punches him once... and he goes down. Hey, look in Fugitive's hands! He's wearing brass knuckles! And he's continuing to punch Walker, no, this is bad. Very bad.

    Luscious Jackson: But look, Chief Bald Eagle is running out, Walker's stablemate. He shouldn't be out here yet, but I guess in this situation he doesn't care. He attacks Fugitive from behind and grabs the brass knucks, throwin em out of the ring. That'll be a nice keepsake for whatever fan steals em.

    Zach Davis: Fugitive and Chief Bald Eagle fight, no one seems to be getting the upper hand, but I hope Walker is OK. Let's see what else is going on, it's hard to keep track with.. uh.. like, nine people in the match right now. Jesus.

    Shannan Lerch: Logan's back to focusing on Gravedigger, and Epic on Outcast. Dake Ken and Hunter are fighting, and we know what happened with Walker, Eagle, and Fugitive. This is like four different matches taking place in one ring now.

    Luscious Jackson: Yeah, well, look at that. Dake Ken and Hunter just bumped into Epic and Outcast. And now all four men are going at it, this has broken down. So much for the Hunter and Dake dream fight.

    Zach Davis: There will be other PPVs, Luscious. But now Epic throws Dake Ken to the ropes, and.. bam! Spear! Dake's down, and Epic pins! This may be it! One... two...

    Shannan Lerch: No! Dake kicks out! Back to the Mad hits, and the crowd roars. Here comes former World Champion, NEO! He's in the ring, and you know damn well what he's doing, he's going for Trent Hunter.

    Luscious Jackson: Wait.. no, he ain't. He's going for Dake, that's.. weird. He and Epic are both kicking at Ken.

    Zach Davis: My guess is that Neo has developed an obsession with taking out The Elite, and Trent is no longer part of that equation. At any rate, that leaves Hunter and Outcast going at it right now. Outcast kicks Trent in the gut and hits the Bayou Shot!! He pins.. one, two..

    Shannan Lerch: Trent kicks out. Pinning Trent would give anyone instant credibility and shoot them straight to the top. Regardless, Walker and Chief seem to have taken the advantage over Fugitive now, and they're both fighting him. Logan has broken off and seems to be aiding Epic and Neo beating down Dake.

    Luscious Jackson: Then where's Gravedigger? He's, oh, uh.. well he's begun to attack Chief Bald Eagle, Sylk Walker, AND Fugitive. I guess it's just that hate of rookies he has. And I hear music, who is it gonna be?

    Zach Davis: It's Burn Out! He's just returned to WCF, and he's back here in The War! He runs into the ring and is the eleventh man fighting. I don't think we've ever had a War with such great competition and so little pinfalls.

    Shannan Lerch: Burn Out was going to attack Gravedigger, but he's thought against it, because look at Gravedigger go! He's taking on all three men there. Burn Out instead attacks Epic. He's using his power and pushes Epic into the turnbuckle.. he hits a huge Clothesline.

    Luscious Jackson: Epic is sent into the turnbuckle, and Burn Out hits another Clothesline, ouch. Let's see, what else is going on. Outcast and Hunter are on the outside, and Hunter slams Outcast into the steel steps. Logan is somewhere outside too and Dake Ken and Neo are goin' at it.

    Zach Davis: Dake Ken has been in here from the beginning, God knows how long ago, and he's still going strong. But not quite as strong as Neo. Neo just hit a Back Hand, and Dake is down. Neo mounts him and starts punching left and right, left and right, and Dake may not be able to take much of that.

    Shannan Lerch: He manages to reach the ropes and pull himself out onto the apron so Neo can't do any more damage. Neo runs at him, but he sends his shoulder into Neo's gut. He then climbs back into the ring and DDT's Neo straight into the mat!

    Luscious Jackson: 40 Oz. by D12 is playing, and here comes another WCF rookie, Joe Kaucasian. I have a feeling I don't like this daddio too much. He gets into the ring, and.. eh oh. He attacked Gravedigger.

    Zach Davis: And it looks like Gravedigger just absorbed the blow. He throws Joe into the ropes and then hits the Grave Marker! He quickly pins.. one, two, three! Joe's eliminated already! Gravedigger's in a rage, he hits another Grave Marker on Fugitive, then the Death Driver on Chief Bald Eagle. He slams Walker down, then climbs to the top...

    Shannan Lerch: Death From Above to Walker! He pins Fugitive. One, two, three. Pins Chief. One, two, three. Pins Walker. One, two, three.

    Luscious Jackson: He just eliminated.. how many men? I guess "Rookie Killer" is quite the appropriate nickname now. Gravedigger raises his arms in the air, still in a fury. But ah, someone spins him around from behind, grabs him.. CHOKESLAM TO GRAVEDIGGER!

    Zach Davis: It was Bishop! Bishop's entered this match! He can't just come in whenever he damn well pleases!

    Shannan Lerch: He's seven feet tall. Are you going to tell him what to do?

    Zach Davis: Good point. At any rate, Gravedigger's finally been stopped, and Bishop is stomping away at him. Meanwhile, Logan and Epic are fighting Outcast. Hunter and Burn Out are fighting, and same for Neo and Dake. Logan and Epic pick Outcast up and hm... they hit a Double Powerbomb, ouch.

    Shannan Lerch: They ARE working together pretty good as a team. Scary.

    Luscious Jackson: On the outside, Dake just slammed Neo's head into the guardrail. Neo fights back and slams Dake's into it too. Neo kicks him and hits a Double Arm DDT! Great move! He pins! One...

    Zach Davis: Two.

    Shannan Lerch: Thre- no, kickout! How in the HELL did Dake do that? Well, TNT by AC/DC is playing, and here comes Twister. He's lucky Gravedigger is out of his rookie killer mood. Twister attacks Burn Out, and Hunter is left to rest.

    Luscious Jackson: Twister Dropkicks Burn Out, sending him back a bit into the guardrail. He then kicks him and hits the Side Effect! Good move. Twister pins. One... two...

    Zach Davis: Burn Out kicks out. In the ring, Outcast has Epic on the mat and is brawling with Logan. He kicks Logan and.. oh, Piledriver, good move. Outcast grabs Logan's leg and applies the Mind Rager... will Logan tap out?

    Shannan Lerch: I don't think so. Dake has subdued Neo and has him possibly knocked out outside. Dake runs up behind Hunter and knocks him down to the mat, and starts kicking him. You can't keep those two away from each other for long.

    Luscious Jackson: Therapy by Finger Eleven is playing again, and here comes Portal. Let's see what he's going to do... hmm, he's attacking Logan. Not a bad move, remembering that Logan's been in here for so long and he's vulnerable right now.

    Zach Davis: Portal picks Logan up and damn! Snap Suplex, and a great one. He floats over and pins the Face of Treachery. One... two...

    Shannan Lerch: Logan manages to kick out. Epic comes from behind and grabs Portal, he's going for something, but no, Portal switches behind, spins him around.. Fisherman's Buster! Portal is hitting some good moves. But wait, Logan is up-

    Luscious Jackson: Logan grabs Portal from behind, and locks in a Sleeper... he hits The Connector! And a pin... One, two-

    Zach Davis: Three. Portal's eliminated. Logan then falls to the mat and rolls back out of the ring. He's exhausted. I think a lot of people in here are exhausted. But I hear music... and whoever is coming out is the twenty fifth man, and last entrant.

    Shannan Lerch: It's AM to PM! And here comes Gayfather! He's prancing out, as usual. Pretty lucky of him to draw last. He's in the ring, and he's going right for Dake Ken. Poor DK has a lot of men gunning for him. Let's see all what's going on - Wait, Burn Out just hit Twister with the Afterburn! Oh man! He makes the pin. One, two..

    Luscious Jackson: Three. Twister's gone. That leaves the final ten men in the ring. Logan, Dake Ken, Outcast, Trent Hunter, Gravedigger, Epic, Neo, Burn Out, Bishop, and the Gayfather. That may be the greatest collection of talent a WCF ring has ever seen.

    Zach Davis: I agree. It looks like each man has begun to take a break from fighting, and they're all looking around to see who is left. This is probably the calm before the storm, because it's time that everyone is going to go all out.

    Shannan Lerch: If that was the calm, here comes the storm. Logan just tackled Gravedigger down to the mat, and all hell has broken loose as everyone else is brawling. Neo and Gayfather are by each other's side and fighting off anyone that comes their way. Hunter and Dake are back to going at it, Bishop and Gravedigger are, and everything's just a mess.

    Luscious Jackson: Dake just slammed Trent Hunter to the mat, and... here it is! Oh my God! The Most Ridiculous Move In Sports Entertainment! Gayfather's pulling his usual antics, and it looks like Dake's seen enough.

    Zach Davis: Gayfather's running around and Dake grabs him.. Gayfather Rides the Lightning! Gayfather hits the mat hard, and Dake quickly pins. One, two..

    Shannan Lerch: Three, Gayfather's gone. And we may have another elimination coming soon. Gravedigger has Bishop in the Death Driver... but wait, from behind, Logan attacks! Bishop slips out, unhurt, as Logan stomps on Gravedigger. But Gravedigger is starting to stand up...

    Luscious Jackson: Logan throws him to the ropes, and Gravedigger's coming back.. Logan hits the High Impact Style!! But look, Gravedigger doesn't even hit the ground!

    Zach Davis: He's dazed, though, and he turns around, right into Bishop. Bishop kicks Gravedigger and Powerbombs him! He keeps it hooked in, and Powerbombs him again! The Last Sermon! But is it actually the last? He pins Gravedigger... One...

    Shannan Lerch: Two...

    Luscious Jackson: Three! Bishop has pinned Gravedigger, this is unbelievable! The crowd is stunned, and I'm not sure if Gravedigger can believe it either. Oh man. He just rolls out.. damn.

    Zach Davis: I guess that was revenge, but maybe Bishop has at least earned Gravedigger's respect now. As Bishop's watching Gravedigger leave, Epic grabs him from behind, he hits The Jolter! Damn, it's elimination city I think, Epic pins. One... two....

    Shannan Lerch: Three. That's the third elimination in just a few minutes. And let's check where everyone is. Logan is outside the ring, resting, as is Trent Hunter. Dake Ken is now fighting with Outcast, and Epic has just attacked Neo. Burn Out's resting in a corner.

    Luscious Jackson: Epic's going all out, he grabs Neo and is going for the Epic Falls, but Neo just gets out of it, Neo throws Epic to the ropes... he runs at Epic, he's going to hit the New End!

    Zach Davis: But wait! Dake Ken nails Neo with a devastating Bitch Kick out of nowhere! Dake quickly pins him, hooking the leg. One.. two...

    Shannan Lerch: Three. Neo's been eliminated by Dake Ken of all people, and he can't be too happy. No, he's not. He's leaving, but he's looking at Dake angrily, and I don't think it's the last we've seen of those two fighting.

    Luscious Jackson: Burn Out has taken to fighting Outcast, and he's stomping mudholes in him in the corner there. He picks him up, throws him to the ropes... and he hits The Burn Out! What a creatively named move. He pins, and I think we may have another elimination. One... two...

    Zach Davis: Kickout! Outcast kicks out! That was a close call. Burn Out picks Outcast up and he lifts him up, he's going for the Afterburn.. wait, no, Outcast slips behind him... Outcast throws him into the turnbuckle, and hits the Sick Twist!

    Shannan Lerch: But he's not done. He picks Burn Out up onto the top rope.. Black Out! He follows up with a pin, and this may be it... One, two...

    Luscious Jackson: There's the three. Burn Out's eliminated.

    Zach Davis: And let's see. Epic and Logan are beating down on Outcast, and Hunter and Dake are on opposite ends of the ring, resting. Hunter ends up tackling Logan down to the ground, and those two are going at it now.

    Shannan Lerch: Logan goes for a Clothesline, Hunter ducks it, Logan turns around and Trent kicks him... oh! Mean looking Powerbomb to Logan. Can he come back from this?

    Luscious Jackson: If I know anything about Logan, I know that daddio can come back from ANYTHING.

    Zach Davis: Trent's climbing to the top rope, and here it is.. the Full Moon! He pins, and let's see, can this be it for the Face of Treachery? One... two...

    Shannan Lerch: THREE! Logan's gone! The crowd moans unhappily, but too bad! Logan rolls out of the ring, dissapointed and worn out, and begins heading to the back. Good.

    Luscious Jackson: And this leaves us with our final four. Trent Hunter, Epic, Outcast, and Dake Ken.

    Zach Davis: Hunter looks and sees Dake Ken across the ring from him, and he runs and Clotheslines him into the turnbuckle. Meanwhile, Epic picks Outcast up and grabs him, he's going for the Rock Bottom... no, Outcast elbows Epic in the head a few times, and Outcast hits the Nail in the Coffin!

    Shannan Lerch: Here's the pin, Epic could be gone. One... two...

    Luscious Jackson: Epic kicks out!

    Zach Davis: Amazing. And let's see. Dake has been unloading on Trent, and just hit a huge Belly to Belly. Dake picks Hunter up now, runs.. Bitch Kick!

    Shannan Lerch: No! Trent has the foot! He hits a Dragonscrew Legwhip.. and now he's locking in the Boston Leglock! Will Dake tap?

    Luscious Jackson: He doesn't have much choice. He's SO tired, he's been in here SO long...

    Zach Davis: But his pride! I don't think he'll do it, I don't think Dake will tap. No way.

    Shannan Lerch: He's lifting up his hand... is he gonna do it?... it's about to come down...

    Luscious Jackson: No! He won't! He's holding on for dear life!

    Zach Davis: Wait, look, that hand.. it dropped limply to the mat. I think Dake passed out, guys.

    Shannan Lerch: You're right. The ref is declaring Dake eliminated, and here come the EMTs. Trent finally releases the hold, and they roll him out onto that stretcher... well, Dake gave us a nice try.

    Luscious Jackson: To say the least. But let's see. Epic and Outcast are brawling, and here comes Hunter. Outcast and Epic see this and they both kick him, and they hit a Double Clothesline. I guess they've teamed up against a common enemy.

    Zach Davis: But Hunter's rolling out of the ring, going to rest. Epic turns back to Outcast and kicks him a few times, and then hits a Body Slam. He backs up a bit, and waits for Outcast to get up... Outcast stands, turns around, Epic runs at him... Spear!

    Shannan Lerch: No, Outcast moved out of the way at the last second! Epic is sent crashing into the turnbuckle. Outcast grabs Epic and pushes him into the turnbuckle, then steps back a bit... he hits the Sick Twist!

    Luscious Jackson: Outcast follows up with a pin. One... two...

    Zach Davis: Epic kicks out! Amazing! Outcast picks him up, and goes to kick him, but Epic grabs Outcasts foot, and.. he's setting it up.. Epic Falls, and he keeps it locked for the pin! One! Two!

    Shannan Lerch: Three! He's eliminated Outcast, and we're down to Trent Hunter and Epic! One of these men will go on to face either X-Rated or PC Cradle for the World Title!

    Luscious Jackson: Trent rolls back in the ring, and he and Epic are having a faceoff. You could cut bust a cap in the tension in this arena's ass.

    Zach Davis: ...What!? Anyway, here we go... they explode! Hunter and Epic are hitting each other with everything they have, it's time for no holding back! Hunter throws Epic to the ropes, he goes for a Clothesline, Epic ducks, and Epic Spears Trent down to the mat!

    Shannan Lerch: And here's the pin! This could very well be it! One! Two!

    Luscious Jackson: Trent kicks out! Ooh, that was a close call. Epic picks Trent up and goes for a punch, but Trent ducks it, and pulls Epic in.. he hits a Facebuster. And now he locks in a Grapevine Leglock.

    Zach Davis: Getting Epic ready for that Boston Leglock, yeah.. but Epic's crawling to the ropes... and he makes it. Trent has to release the hold.

    Shannan Lerch: He's picking Epic up now, but hey, look at this! Epic is firing back! He throws Trent to the ropes and hits a huge Spinebuster, and now he's locking in the Maple Leaf! Giving Trent a taste of his own medicine.. will Trent tap?

    Luscious Jackson: I don't think so. I think he'd pass out like Dake before he'd tap. But let's see....

    Zach Davis: Trent is clearly in pain, and he's trying to get to the ropes.. but Epic pulls him back to the middle of the ring! He keeps the hold in, yanking on it... Trent lunges one more time....

    Shannan Lerch: And he makes it. Epic has to release the hold, that was so close. Trent's holding his leg and Epic's stomping him now.

    Luscious Jackson: But Trent's slowly making his way up.. he goes to Clothesline Epic, Epic ducks, behind Trent, and he's going for the Jolter!

    Zach Davis: But no!! Trent spins around, grabs Epic, and hits another huge Powerbomb! He quickly jumps up to the top... here's another Full Moon! And he makes the pin!

    Shannan Lerch: One!

    Luscious Jackson: Two!

    Zach Davis: Three! Trent Hunter wins The War!!

    Shannan Lerch: Wait-

    Luscious Jackson: NO!! THE SHOULDER IS UP!!!

    Zach Davis: I.. I don't believe it. What can Trent do?

    Shannan Lerch: Trent grabs Epic's legs, he's going to lock in the Boston Leglock.

    Luscious Jackson: No! Epic kicks him away! Trent is sent into the turnbuckle, and Epic is to his feet.

    Zach Davis: Trent runs at Epic, Epic ducks a Clothesline.. he hits THE JOLTER!

    Shannan Lerch: Here's Epic, with the pin!

    Luscious Jackson: ONE!

    Zach Davis: TWO!

    Shannan Lerch: NO!!!!

    Luscious Jackson: The crowd is in awe of both men. Can ANYONE win this?

    Zach Davis: Epic picks Hunter up, but Hunter's fighting back. Kick to the gut-

    Shannan Lerch: No, Epic catches the foot, he pulls him, EPIC FALLS!

    Luscious Jackson: It's into the pin! Here we go! One!

    Shannan Lerch: TWO!

    Zach Davis: THREE!!!!!

    Shannan Lerch: WAIT!

    Luscious Jackson: Shut up. That was actually a three.

    Zach Davis: I bet everyone at home was tricked. But Epic is going on to face either X-Rated or Cradle!

    Shannan Lerch: Sorry. But yeah, and Perfect Strangers is playing. The ref raises Epic's hand in the air.. oh man.

    Luscious Jackson: And look, Epic and Trent are shaking hands.

    Zach Davis: Good sportsmanship by Trent? That's a first. But now he's out, and Epic continues to celebrate.

    Shannan Lerch: OK, one match left. World Title.

  • World Title Match: PC Cradle vs X-Rated
  • Luscious Jackson: The Main Event.

    Zach Davis: The World Title is on the line here, and it's going to be a hell of a fight. Get to the Gone by Static X is playing, and the crowd is going wild... Here comes PC Cradle! The fans are singing along to his music, and he's definitly the fan favorite in this match. He's in the ring now, and looks as prepared and as intense as ever.

    Shannan Lerch: Well after beating Defman for the Contendership, he should be. Cradle has had a long, hard road to this match. But there go the lights... and here's The Red. X-Rated is coming out, and he has that Title around his waist. He's never looked better.

    Luscious Jackson: Yeah, you've seen his waist up close and personal, haven't ya? Ho. Anyhow, that sexy Electra just took off his coat and sunglasses, and he's coming down to the ring. Look at the intensity in his eyes, and in Cradles... I say these daddios are about matched.

    Zach Davis: They're both in the ring now, and the bell rings. Here we go. For all the marbles. The World Heavyweight Championship. They're circling, and you can tell there's a lot of respect, ability wise, I think. Here, they finally tie up. X gets the advantage, and locks in a Hammerlock. Cradle elbows him.. runs to the ropes..

    Shannan Lerch: Cradle goes for a Clothesline, but X ducks it. OH! Hard Clothesline from X. Cradle is on the mat. And The Champ is stomping him like there's no tommorow.

    Luscious Jackson: Of course he is. He knows that if he loses this, he'll be looked at as a fluke. He needs to win. X is dropping a few elbows now, and he's looking good-

    Zach Davis: Spoke too soon, Cradle rolls away from one. X gets right back on the attack, but it may be too late, Cradle is pulling himself up using the ropes. Cradle and X are fighting each other now, back and forth, each looking to gain the advantage...

    Shannan Lerch: Cradle's kneeing X now, right in the midsection, and X is vulnerable, out of breath. Cradle follows up with a big Right Arm Clothesline, and X drops to the mat. Cradle's kicking him, and now he's locking in a Single Leg Boston Crab. X is in pain.

    Luscious Jackson: And he's not near the ropes, really, I'm not sure if he's gonna be able to make it. We can see the pain on his face, but he can't do anything about it...

    Zach Davis: Hey, wait, look at that! Electra grabbed his leg and put it on the rope! The ref didn't see her, but he's making Cradle release the hold. That's bull. Cradle's yelling at Electra now, and good, because she shouldn't be out here.

    Shannan Lerch: Shut up, she has the right to be out here as much as anyone else. And it's just going to piss X off even more. Speaking of X, oh! He rolls up Cradle from behind! One! Two!...

    Luscious Jackson: No, Cradle kicks out. That was close, though, Cradle wasn't expecting it.

    Zach Davis: Both men are up, and X is pounding away on Cradle. X throws Cradle into the turnbuckle and punching him a few times... OK, now he has Cradle up on it. X is climbing up too, I know what he's going for... ooh! Hurricanrana, and a good one! He may have it, here's another pin. One! Two!

    Shannan Lerch: Thr-.. No, another kickout. Damn. At any rate, X is dominating this match, and he's back to stomping Cradle mercilessly. He then backs up, resting a bit, and waiting for Cradle to stand up. Good move, X, make Cradle do all the work!... OK, X is backing up, getting ready to hit something...

    Luscious Jackson: Super Kick! But no, Cradle caught it! Cradle spins X around, goes for a Clothesline.. X ducks it... bam! X hits a huge Dragon Suplex! Both men are laying on the mat now, trying to get their breath, and X rolls over and pins Cradle. Could this be it? One... Two...

    Zach Davis: Kickout. X gets to his feet now, and he's letting Cradle get to his.. but oh, X delivers a mean right hand, and Cradle's down on one knee. X hits a left, and then Cradle drops back down to the mat. X kicks him a few more times before climbing to the top. What's he going for?

    Shannan Lerch: Moonsault! Another pin. One! Two!

    Luscious Jackson: Kickout!... X looks frustrated, he must be thinking "What do I need to do to beat him!?". X backs up, and seems to be catching his breath, eyeing Cradle. Cradle slowly stands, still dazed, X runs at him....

    Zach Davis: X-Plicit! It's over! X-Rated pins!

    Shannan Lerch: ONE!

    Luscious Jackson: TWO!

    Zach Davis: KICKOUT!! The crowd is stunned, and so is X. He looks up, arguing with the ref a bit, before collapsing back down onto the mat and pounding his fist against it, frustrated. He gets up and grabs Cradle's legs, twists, and puts him in the Figure Four.

    Shannan Lerch: He's yanking on it like there's no tommorow, and for Cradle, there might not be. You know X can do that move better than anyone, except maybe Ric Flair himself. Cradle's in the middle of the ring, he can't reach anywhere, is he gonna tap?

    Luscious Jackson: He's raising his hand likes he's going to, and... oh, no, nope, he's holding on for dear life. That daddio has a lot of fight in him. But he can only stay alive for so long, he'll pass out from the pain sometime.

    Zach Davis: I don't know if I can remember Cradle ever tapping out. But X has had this move locked in for a while now, and.. well.. OK, it looks like Cradle has passed out now. The ref is holding up his hand... and it falls lifelessly to the ground.

    Shannan Lerch: Second time... and again, to the ground. It's over. X-Rated has retained.

    Luscious Jackson: Ref lifts it up one more time, just because it's mandatory I guess. And it falls.

    Zach Davis: Wait, no, look! Cradle.. it.. it didn't fall! Cradle's still going! X is furious, and you can see it. Cradle is doing his best to turn it over, and the crowd is fully behind him! Here it is.. YES! Cradle turns over, reversing the pressure! X is screaming now, and the hold is soon broken!

    Shannan Lerch: I think it probably did it's damage to both competitors, though, especially Cradle. He doesn't look like he's getting up any time soon. Well, no, X is 'helping' him up it looks like.. and going for another X-Plicit-

    Luscious Jackson: No, cat, Cradle pushes him off! X goes right into the ropes, and bounces off. Cradle catches him with a forearm to the back, spins him around, and kicks him in the gut... CRADLEBOMB! Cradle pins! ONE!

    Zach Davis: TWO!

    Shannan Lerch: KICKOUT! X-Rated got his shoulder up at the LAST second! I don't believe this! Both men rest on the mat, again, and they've come to a stalemate!

    Luscious Jackson: The fans are cheering and yelling for Cradle to get up.. and it looks like both men are stirring... Cradle grabs X, X hitting the X-Plicit!

    Zach Davis: But no, Cradle pushes him away, X bounces off the ropes, kick... CRADLEARM DDT!! This is it! Cradle makes the pin... ONE!

    Shannan Lerch: TWO!

    Luscious Jackson: ...


    Shannan Lerch: The bell rings. Listen to that crowd, their roaring like never before. The ref hands Cradle the belt, which he holds in the air briefly before collapsing back down to the mat.

    Luscious Jackson: And no one deserves it more than Cradle.

    Zach Davis: Goodnight fans, we'll see you next for Slam!