Zach Davis: I want to take this moment to acknowledge our sponsors. Tonight's broadcast is brought to you by Tinactin. Athlete's foot got you down? Boom! Tough actin' Tinactin!
A chorus of boos comes up from the crowd.
Shannan Lerch: What the hell? Oh my God, Bobby Cairo is here!
Luscious Jackson: Damn I thought he had enough after that whoopin' he caught from CD last week.
Bobby Cairo storms down to ringside, no music playing. The crowd lets Cairo hear it, but he's in no mood to play around. Cairo grabs a microphone from the ring announcer.
Zach Davis: Uh... I have no idea what Cairo is doing here. He was defeated by Creeping Death last week and eliminated from the Classic. He's not even scheduled to appear on tonight's broadcast.
Cairo stares into the camera with cold eyes and a maniacal expression on his face.
Bobby Cairo: I want opponent... NOW!!!
Zach Davis: This is highly unusual. Cairo is demanding an opponent?
Shannan Lerch: Evidently Cairo has some unfinished business, gentlemen. Why don't you guys volunteer to wrestle Cairo? The two of you should be able to take him... tee hee!
Luscious Jackson: Why don't you suck my ass? I got bitches to feed! I can't be gettin' clobbered and losin' my meal ticket!
Zach Davis: I hope somebody answers Cairo's challenge soon or we could be here for awhile.
Pink and red lights flash around the arena as "Bad Medicine" plays. The fans go wild when Dr. Love struts out from behind the curtain. He dances down to the ring, slapping hands with his fans before sliding into the ring.
Zach Davis: Holy lugnuts... Dr. Love? This keeps getting stranger by the minute.
Luscious Jackson: Dr. Love! Feel the Love, baby!
Shannan Lerch: *sigh*
Dr. Love dances over to Cairo. Cairo drills Dr. Love with a lariat that nearly decapitates the good doctor. Cairo quickly pounces on Love and locks him in the Clap Trap. Cairo yanks back on Love's arm like a wishbone at Thanksgiving dinner.
Zach Davis: Jesus H. Simmons, this is DAMN ridiculous. Cairo is going to break Dr. Love's arm.
Shannan Lerch: I have no objection to that.
Luscious Jackson: Cairo is such a bully! Boo, Cairo, boo!
Love screams like a baby and wastes no time in tapping out. Unfortunately this is not an official match, as such there is no referee. Cairo rocks back and forth like a mental patient as he keeps the hold locked in tight. After several tense moments a group of referees and road agents run out from the back and desperately attempt to pry Cairo off his fallen foe. Cairo finally releases the hold and jumps to his feet with mic in hand.
Zach Davis: Finally Cairo releases the damn hold. Dr. Love could have serious damage to his tendons and ligaments. He might lose the use of his arm!
Shannan Lerch: No more reach-arounds I guess.
Luscious Jackson: That's not funny, Shannan! A great athlete just met his end at the hands of an unstoppable madman!
Bobby Cairo: You think I care about this man? I don't give a damn about this man! George Bush, Dick Cheney, I'm coming for you next, suckahs!! Rest in peace to my homeboy Brad Renfro! We love you, baby! We miss you!
Cairo pounds his chest, then points up to the heavens, before tossing the mic back to the ring announcer. "Ground" by Celtic Frost pounds through the PA system as the lights go all weirdo red and green. Cairo turns his attention back to Dr. Love. Cairo stomps away at Dr. Love and locks him in the Clap Trap once more, despite the efforts of the agents and refs to keep Cairo away.
Zach Davis: Come on now, enough is enough! You beat the man, you proved your point, now let him go damn it!
Shannan Lerch: I still have no objection to any of this.
Luscious Jackson: Let him go, you big bully!
The fans voice their displeasure with a chorus of loud boos. The refs and agents unsuccessfully try to pull Cairo off of Dr. Love. Suddenly a cheer comes up from the crowd as Marty Jannetty jumps over the ringside guardrail.
Zach Davis: Pardon my French, but holy shit Marty Jannetty is in the house! Go get him, Marty!
Shannan Lerch: No, this is stupid... I mean Marty Jannetty? WTF?!
Luscious Jackson: Kick his ass, Marty!
The cheers of the crowd alert Cairo that something is afoot. Cairo notices Jannetty sliding into the ring and tries to tackle Jannetty. Jannetty leapfrogs Cairo in one boundless and athletic motion. When Cairo turns around he walks into a Jannetty dropkick, knocking Cairo over the top rope and down to the hard floor below. The crowd roars its approval.
Zach Davis: Yes! Eat dropkick, Cairo!
Shannan Lerch: Oh what a load of...
Luscious Jackson: Did you see that?! Did you see that?!
Cairo, embarrassed, licks his wounds and escapes through the crowd. Jannetty turns his attention to Dr. Love. Jannetty helps Love to his feet. Jannetty wraps Love's good arm around his neck and helps him walk to the back.
Zach Davis: Dr. Love is clearly shaken by that vicious attack at the hands of Bobby Cairo. The physical wounds are apparent, but we can only speculate as to the extent of the mental trauma that Dr. Love has experienced. All I can say is thank God for Marty Jannetty.
Shannan Lerch: Blow it out your...
Luscious Jackson: I agree with you, Zach! Thank God for Marty!
Jannetty pauses at the top of the ramp with the barely conscious Dr. Love slumping in his arms. Jannetty uses his free hand to wave to the fans. The crowd cheers wildly before Jannetty and Love disappear behind the curtain.
"Reach out and touch faith" screams over the speakers as Marilyn Mansons' "Personal Jesus" plays. Outcast walks out of the backstage onto the ramps as Jeff Hardy style explosions goes off.
Your own, personal Jesus
Someone to hear your prayers
Someone who's there
Outcast walks down the ramp to a mixed reaction, mostly boos now. He stops half way down the ramp and raises his right arm slowly up the the hair with his hand open, then slowly closes it to make a fist. He continues to walk down the ramp. He walks to some ring side fans. He trades words with the fans then gives them the finger and turns around to walk up the stairs leading to the ring. He slowly gets into the ring and walks to the middle. He looks around the arena slowly, then walks to his respective corner and sits on the top turnbuckle.
Zach Davis: Outcast certainly redeemed himself last week. After his first round loss to Lawnmower Jones, he came back with a vengeance and defeated four tough opponents in a battle royal. Now he faces his former NCW mentor Steve Carr and I've got a feeling there's no love lost between these two.
Shannan Lerch: No sirree Bob, Outcast and Carr have been on a collision course for a long time now. This match gives them an opportunity to finally settle their differences and prove once and for all who is the better man.
Luscious Jackson: N-C-DUB! N-C-DUB! N-C-DUB!
Shannan Lerch: Put a sock in it, Luscious!
Luscious Jackson: Nah I was just...
The lights go out and "You Wouldn't Know" by Hellyeah plays. Red spotlights shine on the entrance as Steve Carr walks out and raises his arms. The spotlights follow him as he walks down to the ring giving high-fives to the fans. He climbs up the stairs, steps over the ropes and the house lights come back on.
Zach Davis: Carr has looked great in his first two matches with victories over Seth Lerch and Lawnmower Jones. Can he keep it going against his former protege and fellow NCW alumni?
Shannan Lerch: Both of these men cut imposing figures. Outcast has the weight advantage, Carr the height and reach advantage. Carr likes to twist you into a pretzel while Outcast likes to beat the stuffing out of you. If I had to pick a winner I would say... let's all tune in and see what happens!
Luscious Jackson: I like Obama.
Shannan Lerch: Luscious?
Luscious Jackson: Psyche! I'll go with Outcast, I think it's his time to regain the title and he's just a big old vicious snarling beast.
Carr and Outcast meet in the middle of the ring and exchange stares, both men expressionless. Carr extends his hand to his former NCW ally, neither man breaks their stare. The fans cheer, encouraging Outcast to shake Carr's hand. Outcast shakes his head and slowly backs away from Carr. The crowd boos. Carr remains expressionless. The bell rings to start the match. Outcast charges Carr, Carr counters with a devastating Gomi knee to the face, knocking Outcast to the mat.
Zach Davis: Oh my friggin God, he knocked that man out!
Luscious Jackson: Spit that was vicious! Carr made Outcast pay for that snub!
Shannan Lerch: Looks like someone's been hitting the PRIDE DVDs...
Carr quickly makes the cover and gets a two count. Carr goes to work on Outcast's arm with an armbar. Outcast counters with some stiff forearm smashes. Carr absorbs the forearms and keeps the armbar locked in. Carr tries to leg scissors Outcast around his waist. Outcast counters with a belly-to-belly suplex. Outcast works Carr's back and neck over with more stiff forearms.
Zach Davis: Those are big shots from Outcast, very impactful. He's a big man with a lot of rage and anger inside of him.
Outcast sends Carr into the ropes and hits a running knee to the gut. Outcast picks Carr up and levels him with another belly-to-belly. Outcast makes the cover... and gets a two count.
Zach Davis: Outcast will wear you down when he gets his hands on you. Those suplexes are so devastating.
Shannan Lerch: Outcast's style isn't always pretty, but the man knows how to hurt. He could work for Al Pacino.
Outcast sends Carr to the corner, follows him in with a corner clothesline. Outcast shoves Carr to the mat. Outcast climbs to the middle rope and comes down with his boot across Carr's throat. Carr grabs his throat and struggles to breathe. Outcast makes the cover... gets a two count.
Zach Davis: Outcast isn't pulling any punches against his former mentor... or boots for that matter.
Luscious Jackson: That's cold, man, but it's a cold business.
Outcast stands Carr in the corner and unloads repeated shoulder blocks to the gut. Outcast sends Carr to the far corner. Outcast charges in, Carr sidesteps, Outcast hits the turnbuckles. Carr seizes the opening and works Outcast over with a flurry of European uppercuts. Carr then goes old school with some backhand chops. The crowd Wooooos! along as Carr lays into Outcast.
Zach Davis: Carr is really punishing Outcast with those knifehand chops. Outcast's chest is turning a bright shade of red.
Luscious Jackson: Kind of like Shannan's asscheeks after a night at the...
Shannan Lerch: Hey that's personal, mister!
Carr grabs Outcast by his treetrunk of a neck and plants him in the middle of the ring with a running bulldog. Carr makes the cover... Outcast kicks out after two. Carr stomps away at Outcast's knee. Carr grabs Outcast's boot and drops a pair of corkscrew elbows on his knee.
Zach Davis: Carr, ever the accomplished technician, is focusing his attack on Outcast's knee. That's important because Outcast has had major reconstructive surgery on that same knee.
Shannan Lerch: Nobody knows that little tidbit better than Carr. He spends more time studying his opponents than anyone, and he taught Outcast everything he knows.
Luscious Jackson: Facing Carr must be for Outcast what facing my ex-wife in Hell will be for me. I'm confident that I can defeat her, but I know that she knows everyone of my weaknesses. That certainly poses an intimidating specter.
Carr goes for the Texas Cloverleaf, Outcast counters with a monkey flip. Outcast quickly mounts Carr and hits a flurry of punches. Carr covers up, but can't avoid taking the brunt of the blows. Outcast jumps to his feet and appeals to the fans, getting nothing but boos in return. Outcast shrugs them off and goes back to work by stomping away at Carr.
Zach Davis: Raw, brutal aggression on display from Outcast. He doesn't care what the fans think, he just likes toying with them... but not as much as he enjoys beating down an opponent.
Shannan Lerch: The fire inside of Outcast never stops burning. He's been through so much adversity in his life and it's hardened him... not as hard as Luscious at an elementary school playground, but you get what I'm saying.
Luscious Jackson: Hey that's personal, sister!
Outcast walks Carr over to the corner. Outcast goes for a Tornado DDT, but Carr incredibly counters with a Northern Lights suplex into a bridge...
Zach Davis: One...two...NO!! Carr almost had him with the Northern Lights! What an amazing move that was!
Shannan Lerch: I've never seen anything like that before. Carr used his leverage to counter Outcast's momentum and take him down, flawless form by Carr.
Luscious Jackson: That was like Jordan from the free throw line... incredible.
Carr again goes for the Texas Cloverleaf and this time gets it locked in. The crowd cheers, sensing the end is near. Outcast shakes his head NO as the referee checks in. Outcast doesn't expend a lot of energy fighting the hold. He grits his teeth and absorbs the pain in his legs and back as Carr increases the pressure. The fans are on their feet in anticipation of a Carr victory.
Luscious Jackson: Guys, I've never seen Outcast tap before. We could be on the verge of history.
Zach Davis: Carr has the Cloverleaf locked in. Outcast is just taking the punishment. He's not really even trying to escape.
Shannan Lerch: I think he wants to save up for one push to the ropes. It's not a bad strategy because so often we see people expend all of their energy trying to fight the hold and they end up burning themselves out.
Suddenly Outcast's entire body goes limp. The referee checks in to make sure Outcast is still breathing. After checking Outcast's condition, the ref holds Outcast's arm up and lets go... it drops to the mat. The ref holds Outcast's arm up a second time, lets go... again it drops to the mat. The ref signals TWO to the timekeeper. Carr nods his head up and down, sensing that victory is near. The ref holds Outcast's arm up for the third and final time. He lets go... and Outcast comes back alive! Outcast pumps his fist before rolling through and reversing the Cloverleaf.
Zach Davis: Unbelievable reversal by Outcast! It looked like he was dead, but he was playing possum!
Shannan Lerch: Now he's got Carr on the ropes so to speak and in fact Carr is literally near the ropes, so he should be able to escape.
Zach Davis: Yes, Carr does reach the ropes to break the hold, but that was truly a fantastic effort by Outcast.
Luscious Jackson: I take my hat off to Outcast. Things looked bleak, he looked down for the count, but once again he showed us that never say die attitude that's made him a legend.
Both men slow to their feet. Outcast gains the advantage with a boot to the gut and plants Carr with a DDT. Outcast slides out to the floor and grabs a steel chair from ringside. Outcast slides back into the ring. Outcast feigns striking Carr with the chair as the crowd boos loudly, but the referee steps in between them. Outcast sets up the chair in the middle of the ring. Outcast sends Carr into the ropes and hits a drop toe hold, sending Carr face-first onto the seat of the chair.
Zach Davis: Oh my, a vicious move by Outcast! Drop toe hold onto a steel chair, a page straight out of Raven's playbook.
Shannan Lerch: For all you Nancy's out there, that is a legal move because technically the face is hitting the chair and not vice versa.
Zach Davis: Right, if you struck somebody with a chair that's a disqualification, but striking a chair with the body is legal.
Luscious Jackson: Legal or not, that is a brutal move. I think that's how Scotty Riggs lost an eye.
Outcast isn't content with the damage done. He climbs out of the ring and digs around under the apron for more weapons.
Zach Davis: Outcast might have won the match if he had gone for a cover.
Shannan Lerch: He wants to win the match, Zach, but he also wants to send a message. At the moment Outcast is in total control, Carr is at his mercy.
Luscious Jackson: It looks like Outcast found himself a trash can, one of those durable steel cans. I'm not sure what he has in store for Carr, but I'm sure it's painful.
Outcast looks at the trashcan then looks at Carr... he shakes his head. Outcast tosses the can aside and digs around a bit more... until he finds himself a table. The crowd actually cheers Outcast as he pulls the table out from under the ring.
Zach Davis: Whoa-hoa-hoa, business is about to pick up! This can't be good news for Carr.
Shannan Lerch: The crowd is loving it, everybody knows that a wrestling audience can't resist a table spot.
Luscious Jackson: I hope Carr made peace with the maker before this match, because he's about to meet Him.
Luscious crosses his chest and says a prayer as Outcast sets up the table in the ring. Outcast does the throat slit gesture as he pulls Carr to his feet. Outcast slings Carr onto the top rope in a seated position. Outcast climbs up to the top and sets Carr up for a superplex. Outcast tries to hoist Carr up, but Carr blocks it. Carr hits a series of open hand palm thrusts to Outcast's chest.
Zach Davis: Carr is fighting back! He's got Outcast reeling!
Luscious Jackson: What's gonna happen?!
Shannan Lerch: God, this is dangerous... I love it!
Carr shoves Outcast off the top rope. Outcast goes flying backwards and crashes through the table like a scene out of a Nestea commercial. The crowd chants Holy shit! Holy shit!
Zach Davis: Pardon my French, but holy shit! That has to be the end of this match. There's no way anybody could get up from that.
Shannan Lerch: Carr isn't finished yet. It looks like he's setting up for... could it be... yes yes it's the...
Luscious Jackson: ULTIMATUM!!!!!!!
Carr hits the Ultimatum and makes the cover.
Zach Davis: It's all over! Steve Carr defeats his former protege Outcast and advances to the final of the WCF Classic! Un-be-liev-able!
Shannan Lerch: This match was like a mini-roller coaster ride, but this is another feather in the cap for the NCW legend.
Luscious Jackson: Carr keeps cranking along with huge win after huge win. Over the hill? This man ain't over the hill! Say it to his face and see what happens! I picked him to win.
Shannan Lerch: Liar.
Luscious Jackson: Seriously, I did!
Carr looks down at Outcast and shakes his head. "You Wouldn't Know" rocks the house as the referee raises Carr's hand. Cheers reign down from every part of the arena as the fans show their respect and admiration for their hero. Carr slaps hands with the fans at ringside and celebrates for a little bit before heading up the ramp. Carr pauses at the top of the ramp and makes the title gesture around his waist. The fans cheer ever louder. Carr holds his fist in the air and soaks in the adulation. After a few moments Carr abruptly turns around and walks through the curtain with an extra bounce in his step.