Zach Davis: This is the night that we've all been waiting for since the Classic was first announced. Tonight we crown the last ever WCF World Champion and find out once and for all who is the best of the best!
"Ground" by Celtic Frost hits the speakers as weirdo red and green lights start flashing. The fans instantly start booing.
Zach Davis: Oh come on! Cairo's coming out here... now?!
Shannan Lerch: Oh yes indeedy, Zach, the Conservative Icon is in the house! Listen to that reception, the fans love him!
Luscious Jackson: This is neither the time nor place for Cairo's nonsense! Why can't he go preach his BS from the padded confines of Bellevue or perhaps Attica?
The lights come back on as Cairo hits the ring and demands a microphone. The boos and groans from the fans grow louder.
Bobby Cairo: You people saw me walking to this ring with purpose so you know what's up! I hear you guys have a big World Title match tonight.. Creeping Death and Steve Carr, right? Hey guys, I'm not trying to steal your thunder. I just have some unfinished business to which I must attend. You see I came out here last week and I tried to teach Dr. Love a lesson in proper grappling technique.
The crowd angrily boos.
Zach Davis: What a load of crap! Cairo was trying to rip Dr. Love's arm off and he might have succeeded if not for Marty Jannetty's intervention!
Shannan Lerch: No, no. Cairo had the best of intentions!
Luscious Jackson: Oh Moses, smell the roses!
Bobby Cairo: Jannetty, you have foiled my plans for the last time! Two months ago I challenged you to a Punjabi Prison match. You still have yet to accept my challenge, but I think I know why. I was sitting back in my den this week in my Connecticut estate and I was thinking to myself. I was thinking "You know what? Punjabi Prison has been done to death." I realized that you were ducking my challenge because you were holding out for something bigger and better. You were waiting... for the Tesla cage of death!
The crowd erupts in cheers.
Zach Davis: Dear God, did he say... no he couldn't... he wouldn't...
Shannan Lerch: The Tesla cage of death is the 13th or 14th most dangerous match in the history of professional wrestling, depending on who you ask! Oh Jannetty, you better stay home old man! You don't want none of this!
Luscious Jackson: That's it, Cairo has officially lost the last 5 brain cells that he had left!
Bobby Cairo: I know that WCF has had more farewell shows than KISS, but I'm not talking about some WCF sanctioned Tesla cage match. I'm talking about a non-sanctioned, no hold barred Tesla match three weeks from today at the Nassau Coliseum in Uniondale, New York! I've already booked the accommodations, Jannetty! I've rented one night at the Nassau Coliseum with my own money. I've also reserved for you and yours a weekend stay at the Four Seasons in Hempstead, New York. I've even taken the liberty of purchasing two first class plane tickets for you and your wife to fly out to Long Island. Now that's a sweet deal, Marty! All you have to do is show up!
Shannan Lerch: Christ, I hope Cairo hired a driver for Jannetty if they're serving alcohol on that plane!
Zach Davis: Stop it, Shannan! Alcoholism is a disease!
Luscious Jackson: I agree with Zach. Marty has worked hard to overcome his problems, Shannan. You shouldn't make fun of him!
Bobby Cairo: Just to give everybody a little bit of background, there's only been one Tesla cage match in the history of our great sport. I defended my GWC DirecTV Title against Zak Warner inside of the Tesla cage on a chilly night in Portland, Oregon... and I kicked Zak Warner's straight edge ass! That's right, Marty, I'm undefeated in the Tesla cage and nobody can beat me! Walk with me in Hell, Jannetty! All of your fears, dread and pain will haunt you until you accept my challenge! Get your ass out here Jannetty or I'll...
The Rockers theme song hits the speakers. The crowd explodes in cheers.
Zach Davis: Oh my, Cairo is about to get his wish!
Shannan Lerch: Whoa, I thought Jannetty was back in rehab?
Luscious Jackson: You're thinking of Cairo's girlfriend... that Winehouse girl... Amy?
Jannetty slaps hands with the fans as he runs down to the ring. Cairo has a concerned look on his face as Jannetty slides under the ropes. Jannetty jumps onto the turnbuckles and raises his arms, soaking in the cheers of the fans.
Bobby Cairo: It's so nice of you to join me, Marty.
Marty Jannetty: Cut the crap, Cairo. I heard your challenge and I'm here to say that I absolutely... accept!
The crowd pops like crazy.
Zach Davis: It's official! We have a match! Nassau Coliseum, three weeks from today, Cairo and Jannetty will meet inside the Tesla cage! Wow!
Shannan Lerch: You just made the biggest mistake of your life, Jannetty! I weep for thee!
Luscious Jackson: It could be a mistake, Shannan, but personally I hope Marty kicks Cairo's ass!
Bobby Cairo: I'm glad to hear it, Marty. I'm glad to hear it...
Cairo takes a swing at Jannetty. Jannetty ducks and sends Cairo reeling with big right hands. Jannetty measures Cairo... and clotheslines him over the top rope.
Zach Davis: Jannetty does it again! For the third time Marty Jannetty has punked out Bobby Cairo! Cairo is livid!
Cairo stomps the floor outside the ring and screams at the top of his lungs as the fans serenade Jannetty with cheers.
Luscious Jackson: Ha-ha! Cairo gets upstaged yet again by the 46-year old Marty Jannetty! You gotta love it!
Shannan Lerch: Oh you'll pay, Jannetty... mark my words, you will pay!
Zach Davis: This is truly the biggest event to ever hit Allegheny, Pennsylvania! The electricity in the WCF Arena is at an all-time high tonight! Here we are at the last ever WCF show, moments away from crowning the last ever WCF World Champion in the finals of the WCF Classic! I have to admit that I'm tearing up a bit as I think about the fact that this is really it... the final show.
Shannan Lerch: You're crying? Get a grip!
Luscious Jackson: You don't know how it feels, Shannan. You're a cold woman with a heart of black!
Shannan Lerch: Ugh... I'm not gonna miss either of you two crybabies.
Zach pulls his emotions together.
Zach Davis: This is the last WCF show and we're going out in style tonight, fans. The two biggest superstars in all of wrestling will do battle as Creeping Death and Steve Carr lock horns for the WCF World Title. Regardless of who you're rooting for you have to admit that both of these men have done it the right way. These guys never sold out to Seth Lerch like countless other money grubbing pawns, and they busted their respective asses to get to this point.
Shannan Lerch: I resent the implication that my brother is some evil, manipulative puppetmaster. He may be evil and manipulative, but he's not nearly smart enough to be a puppetmaster. That's more my speed.
Luscious Jackson: I'm really looking forward to this match up of two WCF legends. CD was the most recent World Champion before he got screwed over by Seth...
Shannan Lerch: Ahem!
Luscious Jackson: ...And of course Steve Carr is looking for the first WCF World Title reign of his storied career. What a match!
Zach Davis: It's been a long journey for both men. Both CD and Carr have defeated a litany of tough challengers to reach this championship match. This is really the match that most fans wanted to see in the finals. Now we're only moments away!
The lights go out and "You Wouldn't Know" by Hellyeah plays. Red spotlights shine on the entrance as Steve Carr walks out and raises his arms. The spotlights follow him as he walks down to the ring giving high-fives to the fans. He climbs up the stairs, steps over the ropes and the house lights come back on.
Zach Davis: Steve Carr is the NCW icon and he made it clear from day one that he wasn't here for the money or the fame. Carr wanted to win the WCF Classic to claim the one title that he's always desired. Can he do it tonight, guys?
Shannan Lerch: Carr's a big man with a finesse game and he's looked unbeatable to this point. If ever there were a man of destiny you have to think that Carr fits that bill.
Luscious Jackson: The hunger for championship glory is what drives Carr... no pun intended. I think that Carr's size, talent and determination certainly give him a real chance to win this match.
The lights slowly fade to black. Bells toll as the screen shows shots of a big wooden cross wrapped in barbed wire. It's a sunny day as demented circus music begins playing. Purple and green lights flash throughout the arena. The pounding bass of Marilyn Manson's version of "This is Halloween" comes through the circus music. As the song gets darker and darker, the sunny day turns to night. Black clouds roll in and rain begins falling on the cross. Lightning crashes about. As the lightning crashes, white lights in the arena flash. When the song kicks up, twenty in, the entire crowd begins headbanging in unison and throwing the horns in the air as the lights come on just a tad, giving light to the dark. Standing on the stage is Creeping Death, wearing the green and purple jersey, arms stretched out in a crucifix fashion, in his left hand, the WCF Hardcore Title. CD stands there for a second or thirty, until the vocals start, taking in the crowd's reaction. Then he slowly makes his way down the ramp, looking out into the audience. As he reaches the ring, he slides in under the bottom rope, and pops to his feet. CD walks over to a turnbuckle, jumps to the middle rope facing the crowd, throws the horns in the air with his right hand, and the WCF Hardcore Title up in his left as the crowd cheers. CD drops down, takes the jersey off, hands the WCF Hardcore Title to the ref and then takes a seat on the top turnbuckle, awaiting the match to begin.
Zach Davis: There you see the reigning Hardcore Champion and former World Champion. CD looks focused and we know that he's motivated.
Shannan Lerch: In the first three rounds of the Classic, CD looked awesome. He battered, destroyed and defeated JJ Biggs, Bobby Cairo and Danny Vice as decisively as anyone in history. Those men are all decorated former champions and they each felt the wrath of Creeping Death. The last man standing between CD and ultimate redemption is Steve Carr... and that's a mighty big obstacle.
Luscious Jackson: JJ Biggs was a big obstacle too... no pun intended.
Shannan Lerch: That's true but JJ Biggs was not on the roll that Steve Carr is on right now. I just wonder if the hunger to taste World Title gold for the first time is stronger than the hunger to regain a championship lost.
Zach Davis: There's no question that both men are looking for redemption and one last shot at glory. Gosh, we all know that Carr and CD are both big fan favorites and the noise in this arena is louder than anything I can remember!
Shannan Lerch: What's that, Zach? I can't hear you over this crowd noise!
The bell (though barely audible) rings and the match is officially underway. CD tries for some crazy looking Tony Jaa knee strikes to start off, but Carr sidesteps. Carr shoves CD to the corner and hits some big forearm shots. Carr sends CD to the far corner, but CD reverses. CD rocks Carr's massive frame with a rolling corner clothesline. CD hits some stiff knees to the midsection. Carr absorbs the knees and brushes them off. Carr hits CD in the trachea with an open-hand palm thrust that staggers CD back. Carr measures CD and hits a stiff running lariat. Carr makes the quick cover and CD quickly kicks out after one.
Zach Davis: Fast and furious action to start off and these fans are loving it.
Shannan Lerch: One would think that Carr will try to slow the pace. He knows that he can't win a foot race with the much faster and more agile CD.
Luscious Jackson: Carr will try to tie him up, but I don't know if he can do that early. CD's so full of energy, he's like a butterfly... but a really tough butterfly.
Carr hits some elbow strikes to the shoulder blade and locks CD in a hammerlock. CD struggles for a moment and then flips forward to escape the hold. CD rolls under a Carr lariat attempt and plants Carr in the chest with a snap dropkick. CD goes to work on Carr's legs with some stiff Tajiri-like kicks that drop the giant Carr to his knees. CD finishes the sequence with one last kick to Carr's face that knocks Carr to the mat. CD hits a standing shooting star press for the cover. Carr kicks out at two.
Zach Davis: CD is lighting fast, he gets in so many shots so quick and from so many angles.
Shannan Lerch: CD is the human form of Jolt Cola or Red Bull or whatever highly caffeinated beverage analogy you want to use.
Luscious Jackson: Carr is a tough man and he's huge, he can absorb those blows... but he can't just stand around and get hit.
CD sends Carr to the corner. CD attempts a handspring back elbow, but Carr catches CD in the Full Nelson position. Carr hits a high impact bridging dragon suplex, drawing the collective exhale of every fan in the arena. CD kicks out after two. Carr drills his knee repeatedly into CD's shoulder. Carr picks CD up and hits an inverted atomic drop, followed by a stiff lariat. Carr makes the cover and gets a two count.
Zach Davis: Carr is finding his rhythm now. He's slowing this match down and connecting with some nice power moves. That's the type of match that Carr wants to fight.
Shannan Lerch: That is the gameplan for defeating CD. Keep him off his feet so that he can't fly all over the place, and try to wear him down so that he can't come back at you. It's still very early though, let's see if Carr can keep it up.
Luscious Jackson: CD and Carr are two of the toughest competitors that I've ever seen, so I'm sure we have a long way to go in this one.
Carr sends CD to the ropes and hits the big boot. Carr works an armbar on the mat. CD rolls out of it to escape, but Carr hits another lariat. Carr sets CD up and hits a double underhook suplex. Carr hits a pair of corkscrew elbows onto CD's shoulder. Carr goes back to work on CD's arm with an armbreaker. Carr calmly locks the hold in place and gradually increases his leverage. CD has a pained expression on his painted face. CD spends the next several moments locked in Carr's expertly executed submission hold.
Zach Davis: CD has previously suffered a torn rotator cuff before and this certainly has to be bringing back some painful memories for him.
Shannan Lerch: It's a smart move by Carr. He knows that CD's had problems with that arm before so why not go to work?
Luscious Jackson: That pressure keeps building and it feels like a hornet's nest in your elbow and your shoulder blade. Not fun.
After several moments of agony CD works his way to the ropes, prompting the referee to break up the hold. Both men to their feet. CD motions with his hands and tells Carr to bring it on. Carr charges in and hits a flurry of European uppercuts. Carr sends CD to the ropes and hits a sitout spinebuster for a two count. Carr once again focuses his attack on CD's arms and shoulders with a surfboard hold. Carr gets CD locked in nice and snug and cranks back for all he's worth. Carr keeps up the pressure for several moments, punishing the arms, shoulders and torso of his much smaller opponent.
Zach Davis: This hold can't feel good if you're CD. CD's not the type of competitor who would quit, but he's sustaining a fair amount of stress in his upper body.
Shannan Lerch: Carr is like a 7-foot tall octopus. He gets you locked in place and drains the life out of you, turns you all purple and stuff.
Luscious Jackson: Fortunately for CD he's the type of guy who can cope with the pain without losing his focus. Not to say that he enjoys it, but he certainly tolerates it.
Carr finally releases the hold after a satisfactory amount of damage has been inflicted. Carr measures CD and hits a big boot to the face. Carr sets CD up and hits a massive sitout powerbomb. CD kicks out after two and a half.
Zach Davis: I could feel that one from up here, guys. Holy cow, how did CD kick out after that powerbomb? Carr is in total control of this match right now.
Shannan Lerch: I don't see CD fighting his way out of this one, guys. Carr is too big, too strong and too smart. He's methodical and precise like a surgeon's blade in the way that he picks apart his opponents.
Luscious Jackson: I know that it looks bad, but I can't imagine CD going down without a surge at some point.
Carr goes for another armlock, but CD flips out and sweeps Carr's legs out from under him. CD comes alive with stiff kicks to Carr's legs and stomach. Carr is stunned by the blows but remains standing. CD shoots off the ropes and hits a flying forearm smash. Carr is still on his feet. CD picks Carr up with every ounce of strength in his being and hits an incredible Death Valley driver. The crowd goes bonkers. CD makes the cover... and gets a two.
Zach Davis: Wow wow! How did CD get him up? Carr is easily twice CD's size!
Shannan Lerch: I guess taking an ass whooping for about 10 minutes is... good for CD?
Luscious Jackson: I had a feeling that CD had something left in the tank. I've never known CD to be the type of guy who shows up and doesn't bring it.
Carr is up to his feet, but CD hits a chop block from behind. Carr falls to the mat and grabs his knee. CD goes outside the ring and grabs a steel chair. CD slides back in the ring and sets up the chair in the middle of the ring. CD stomps away at Carr before turning his attention to the chair. CD charges toward the chair, launches himself onto the ropes and hits a beautifully executed triple jump moonsault onto Carr. The crowd pops. Carr is stunned. CD hooks the leg...and gets a near fall.
Zach Davis: What a move by CD! Triple jump moonsault and he does it better than Sabu ever did! No botch!
Shannan Lerch: I have to admit that was pretty sweet. Steve Carr is in a bad, bad way right now.
Luscious Jackson: CD's laying it all on the line right now. He can sense that he's on the verge of fulfilling his destiny. Can CD put this match away?
CD folds up the chair and waits for Carr to get up. CD tosses the chair at Carr and Carr catches it. CD goes for the Van Daminator, but Carr ducks. Carr tosses the chair back at CD. CD makes the catch and Carr hits a Van Daminator of his own. The crowd pops like mad. Carr makes the cover... CD kicks out before the three.
Zach Davis: Carr almost had him! What a brilliant counter by a brilliant tactician!
Shannan Lerch: I've said it before and I'll say it again, nobody does a better job of scouting his opponents than Steve Carr.
Luscious Jackson: That was damn impressive!
Carr kicks the chair out of the ring. Carr scoops CD up and goes for a shoulderbreaker, but CD slips behind him. CD pushes Carr into the ropes and tries to roll him up, Carr alertly grabs onto the ropes and shrugs CD off. Carr charges at CD. CD tries to leapfrog the 7-footer, but Carr catches him. Carr tries to hoist CD up for powerbomb. CD's struggling prevents Carr from getting a good grip. CD uses his leverage to flip Carr over with a Frankensteiner into the pin.
Zach Davis: CD almost won the match from out of nowhere! Oh so close!
Shannan Lerch: That was close! The ref's hand was a centimeter away from the three count!
Luscious Jackson: CD pulls these moves from out of nowhere! It's incredible to watch!
Both men are up. CD goes for the super kick, but Carr ducks. Carr hits a quick boot to the midsection and follows up with a snap DDT. Carr takes a moment to recover before setting CD up... and drilling him with a sick-looking hangman's neckbreaker that would make Rick Rude proud. Carr pulls CD up to his feet and drags him to the corner. Carr gives the thumbs down gesture to the crowd before planting CD with a running bulldog. Carr makes the cover.
Zach Davis: Did he do it? No! I thought Carr won the match! Holy cow that was close!
Shannan Lerch: And the drama keeps building! Dunh dunh duh!
Luscious Jackson: You're not kidding. What a match!
Carr measures CD, boot to the midsection... Ultimate Stunner! The crowd pops like a bunch of European soccer fans.
Zach Davis: Stunner! Stunner! It's over!
Shannan Lerch: No, Carr's going to the top rope! Could he be looking for the Ultimatum?
Luscious Jackson: This could be a mistake...
Carr stumbles slightly as he reaches the top. Carr carefully readjusts himself and regains his balance. Carr goes for the Ultimatum... and misses!
Zach Davis: Oh no! That slight hesitation cost Carr!
Shannan Lerch: This is bad! Carr is in serious trouble!
Luscious Jackson: And CD is on his feet!
CD stumbles over to Carr, sets him up... For Whom the Bell Tolls! The crowd is in hysteria! CD makes the cover...
Zach Davis: It's over! It's all over! CD wins the World Title! CD wins the title!
Shannan Lerch: Wow! I'll give CD credit I didn't think he would get it done against the seemingly unstoppable Carr, but CD defeated the cream of the crop throughout the Classic. CD earned the title, so congrats to him. It's a well-deserved victory!
Luscious Jackson: Hats off to CD, he did it the only way that he knows how. CD faced the challenge head on and defeated four top WCF superstars. CD is truly one of the greatest champions in WCF history!
Zach Davis: No doubt about it, CD has carved his place as one of the greatest champions in the history of our sport!
"This is Halloween" plays as the fans jump up and down cheering and going nuts. Purple and green confetti pours down from the rafters. The referee hands the WCF World Title belt to CD and raises CD's arm in victory. CD drops to his knees and cradles the belt in his arms like a newborn child as the fans continue to erupt in cheers.
Zach Davis: CD doesn't let his emotions shine through very often, but even he can't help but be overwhelmed by the moment.
Shannan Lerch: He's worked very hard to get the belt back, there's no question about it. Though my brother was justified in stripping CD of the title, CD rose to the occasion throughout the Classic.
Luscious Jackson: A great show of sportsmanship by Carr. He must be very disappointed but he walked over and congratulated CD. The fans love both of these guys and they love to see that kind of classy behavior.
Zach Davis: This match was a classic display of athleticism and courage by both men and it's a shame that either man had to lose. I'm also sorry to see WCF come to an end - yet again - but what a way to go out!
CD climbs onto the ropes and holds the WCF World Title above his head. The crowd roars its approval, several fans have tears streaming down their faces in the emotion of the moment. CD holds up the horns and bangs his head as the fans chant "CREE-PING DEATH!! CREE-PING DEATH!!"
While CD is celebrating in the ring, Carr asks for and is given a mic.
Zach Davis: It looks like Steve Carr wants to say something.
Shannan Lerch: Did you figure that out all by yourself?
Luscious Jackson: Shh! The man wants to speak!
Carr turns towards CD.
Carr: Hey, congratulations. You earned it. Now I don't want to take away your thunder here, I just want to say a couple things. Is that OK?
CD nods as he slings the title belt over his shoulder.
Carr: I just wanted to say thank you to all the fans for making it possible for me to get this far. Without the fans, there's never a WCF and there's no Steve Carr. I also want to thank Creeping Death for putting on a heck of a fight. If I had to lose to someone, I can't think of anyone better to lose to.
Carr extends his hand. CD extends his as well, and they shake. Then Carr pulls CD in...
Shannan Lerch: Swerve!
...and pats him on the back.
Shannan Lerch: Oh.
Luscious Jackson: Shush!
He pulls back out and then raises CD's hand as the crowd erupts. He raises the mic again.
Carr: Having said that...
He drops CD's hand.
Carr: Having said that, I know where you're headed off to next. I'm not sure if I'm allowed to say it on-air, but, uh...
Carr raises his hand in the air and writes out "G-W-C" with his finger.
Carr: ...that's where I'm going, too. And I realize you're doing the tag team thing right now, but I feel like sooner or later, you and me are going to have another match, maybe for another World Title. Next time...next time...the outcome will be different. But right now, this is your time. Enjoy it.
Carr steps out of the ring and walks up the ramp with the mic in hand, still facing the ring.
Carr: Ladies and gentlemen, Creeping Death! Your old, new and final Wrestling Championship Federation World Champion!
The crowd cheers again as Carr makes his way to the top of the ramp. He turns around to point at CD, and then disappears through the tunnel.
Zach Davis: Steve Carr, gracious in defeat.
CD stares at the tunnel and clutches his belt. Then he faces the camera and raises the belt into the air.
Zach Davis: This is our final image of WCF, and it's a good one. Goodnight, WCF fans, and thank you.