Lawnmower Jones Segment
Lawnmower Jones vs David Alastair vs Chris Avery vs Conrad Howell
Alliance of Violence Segment
Rick Mad vs Outcast
Creeping Death vs Miguel Sanchez/Thorrska Rojida/Infra-Red/Adam Knite/Davey Boone
Skyler Striker Segment
Television Title: JJ Biggs vs Thunder
Jack of Blades Segment
Reckless Jack vs Seth Lerch
Jesper's Jibba Jabba With P.C. Cradle
Hardcore Title: Danny Vice vs Skyler Striker
World Title: Jack of Blades vs Logan
The screen is black. We hear gunshots, and soon music begins playing as the lights flash a bit. Eventually, singing begins.
I can't remember anything,
cant tell if this is true or dream.
Deep down inside I feel to scream,
this terrible silence stops me!
Now that the war is through with me,
I'm waking up, I can not see
that there is not much left of me,
nothing is real but pain now!
Pyro explodes from the stage, which lights up. A band is playing One, by Metallica. Although it was already obvious from the singing, as the stage is lit we can see James Hetfield playing guitar and singing, Kirk Hammett playing lead, Lars Ulrich on drums and Robert Trujillo playing bass. Metallica themselves.
Hold my breath as I wish for death,
Oh please God wake me.
Video clips are shown highlighting past editions of One: Reckless Jack and Creeping Death competing in an Ultraviolent Ladder Match, DKX reigning supreme over a number of other tag teams, Logan winning an Ironman Match against three other WCF legends, PC Cradle hitting the Cradlebomb on Defman through a table and winning the legendary feud, Neo defeating Trent Hunter for the World Title.
Back in the womb it's much too real,
in pumps life that I must feel.
But can't look forward to reveal,
look to the time when I'll live.
More highlights are shown. The Steel Men ending the Twisted Elements' reign in the Tag Team division, Hellz Angel defeating Outcast, Creeping Death in a hellacious match with Rick Mad, Torture defeating Mike Maida in an amazing matchup, Nate Nytro somehow defeating Reckless Jack in a Three Stages of Hell match as part of their incredible rivalry, and finally, PC Cradle defeating Madd Dogg for the World Title.
Fed through the tube that sticks in me,
just like a wartime novelty.
Tied to machines that make me be,
cut this life off from me!
Now, recent clips are shown. First, Logan winning the War match and becoming the World Champion. Reckless Jack overcoming the odds and unifying the KWA, XCW and WCF World Titles. The mysterious Frost, and Kristen's, feud with Creeping Death, and the resulting Nightmare Chamber match. The battle for ownership of the company, shifting between Seth Lerch, Davey Ortega, Logan, Steve Carr, Kyle Steel and the WCF Championship Committee and finally back to Seth Lerch. Bobby Cairo's rapid rise through WCF's ranks and his World Title win. Torture overcoming Kurtis Victory's turning on him. The brutal, and sadly unconcluded feud between Ellis Island and Jack of Blades. Torture finally capturing the World Title by defeating JJ Biggs.
Hold my breath as I wish for death,
Oh please God wake me.
Now the world is gone, I'm just One.
Oh God, help me!
Hold my breath as I wish for death,
Oh please God help me!
More clips. The debut of Lawnmower Jones and his alliance with Logan. Torture defeating everyone in his path, including Reckless Jack, Chino, and even Logan. The formation of the new Team of Treachery, consisting primarily of the likes of Logan, Jack of Blades, JJ Biggs, Lawnmower Jones, and eventually Danny Vice. The formation of the New Dynasty of Torture, Creeping Death, Dake Ken, and Nate Nytro. Several brutal clips of the Skyler Striker and Danny Vice feud. The Team of Treachery defeating the New Dynasty once and for all, and Torture's turn on Creeping Death. And Torture relinquishing the World Title.
all that I see,
I cannot live,
I cannot die,
trapped in myself,
body my holding cell.
Finally, the most recent of events. Jack of Blades defeating Reckless Jack, Logan defeating Creeping Death, resulting in the World Title match that will happen tonight. The resulting friendship between the former stablemates. Skyler Striker and Thunder upsetting Disorder by Design for the Tag Team Titles, and Disorder by Design winning them back. Jack of Blades winning the Wrestler of the Year award, and his attack on Shannan Lerch. Lawnmower Jones' return, the debut of Chris Avery, the return of Conrad Howell and the rise of David Alastair. Reckless Jack's beatdowns throughout the month, perpetrated by Seth Lerch. Skyler Striker and Thunder cancelling out Disorder by Design and causing the team of Jack of Blades and Logan to win the Tag Team Titles. Logan and Jack of Blades' subsequent celebration.
Has taken my sight,
taken my speech,
taken my hearing!
Taken my arms,
taken my legs,
taken my soul,
left me with life in hell!
Zach Davis: Hello! I am Zach Davis, and I am here with Shannan Lerch and Luscious Jackson, and this is One!
Shannan Lerch: What a great performance just now.
Luscious Jackson: I'd hope so, with the amount we paid Metallica to be here. We coulda gotten Snoop Dogg or somethin', he coulda covered One like he covered Sad But True-
Zach Davis: NO.
Shannan Lerch: Anyway, this night isn't about music. We have a stacked lineup and an amazing main event.
Luscious Jackson: You just wanna see Jack of Blades get his ass kicked for what he did to ya earlier.
Zach Davis: Well, either way she's right. It IS an amazing main event. For the first time ever, Logan and Jack of Blades will square off, one on one, for the World Title. Only one man can emerge victorious from this dream match.
Shannan Lerch: Jack of Blades has absolutely dominated WCF since he arrived. Like we saw in the video package, his feud with Ellis, and his brutal Hardcore Title reign. He's been nothing short of absolutely dominant. As much as I hate to say it.
Luscious Jackson: Logan's been pretty dominant, too! He won War, he's the only man to win the World Title as many times as he has, I don't even remember!
Zach Davis: Four times. Logan is a four time WCF World Champion, a feat no one else really comes close to matching. And tonight, he's going to look to make it five.
Shannan Lerch: Remember, though. This is a match between friends. They may be rivals, but underneath it all they seem as friendly as can be. I don't know how that is going to affect things.
Luscious Jackson: I don't know how friendly two cats can be when they're fightin' in the main event of One for the World Title! But we'll see.
Zach Davis: We also have the final chapter in the Danny Vice vs Skyler Striker feud... and possibly the final chapter of these men's lives. This is an Extreme Hell in a Cell match for the Hardcore Title. I can't imagine what these two will do to each other.
Shannan Lerch: They've been at each other's throats for months. Many people are comparing this feud to the classic PC Cradle vs Defman rivalry. PC Cradle won that, and it propelled him to the World Title. This match is incredibly important for Vice and Striker both.
Luscious Jackson: Who cares about the World Title? They need to worry about survivin'! These two men know each other as good as any two men know anybody, and they know exactly how to hurt one another. This ain't gonna be pretty.
Zach Davis: Speaking of "not going to be pretty," we have Reckless Jack up against Seth Lerch in Jack's final WCF match ever. Lerch has been making Jack's last month a living hell. Beatdowns and humiliations.
Shannan Lerch: Seth will find a way to make it through, and win. He always does. He's Seth f'n Lerch.
Luscious Jackson: Jack is going to be on the rampage tonight for what Seth has done to him. I hope Seth left a will.
Zach Davis: A bit of an offshoot from the Vice and Striker feud, we also have JJ Biggs one on one with Thunder for the Television Title. This is bound to be a great match, for sure. Both very talented individuals. Biggs held that Title about five or six months ago, and he wants it back. Thunder, however, has been on a roll, holding three Titles consecutively. This is anyone's matchup.
Shannan Lerch: And we've got my personal least favorite wrestler up against five other men in a gauntlet match. Creeping Death has been known as the "n00b killer," and tonight he has a chance at five rookies at once.
Luscious Jackson: The last two men are Davey Boone and Adam Knite, also known as the Alliance of Violence. They gonna be tough to beat.
Zach Davis: As is the custom at One, we have a Legends matchup: Rick Mad, taking on Outcast. Rick Mad showed up to beat down Reckless Jack, and then made an open challenge. Outcast accepted, and bam, here we go. These men have known each other for at least six, maybe seven years. For a good half of that, I'm going to say, they were on the same page. But within the last two or three years, Mad has been an asshole, pretty much, and they haven't been friends.
Shannan Lerch: Lastly, for our opening match, we have contendership for the Television Title on the line. This is an elimination match featuring Lawnmower Jones, David Alastair, Chris Avery, and Conrad Howell.
Luscious Jackson: These men have faced each other in singles matches, and in tag matches, but finally all four of em are comin' together as individuals.
Zach Davis: Jones made his return, and basically said that he was coming after the Television Title. Alastair has been in a bit of a slump, but looking to rise out of it, and in the last month I'd say he has. Avery is a rookie on the rise, and Howell is a former Tag Team wrestler looking to prove himself as a singles star. Every man in this match has a story, and only one can win it.
Shannan Lerch: That said, guys, I think it is finally time to get to some action!
Lawnmower Jones Segment
Hank Brown is standing backstage in the interview area along with Lawnmower Jones and Lonnie.
Hank Brown: Ladies and gentlemen, I'm here with Lawnmower Jones. Jones, you're about to step into the ring with three other men. The winner earns a shot at the Television Title. How are you feeling right now?
Lawnmower Jones: What a stupid question, Hank! I feel like kicking some arse! I always feel like kicking arse! Kicking arse, drinking beer and mowing lawn! That's what I do, and I do it better than anyone!
Hank Brown: Fair enough, Jones. Now as I said you have a chance to earn a shot at the Television Title. How important is it for you to regain that title?
Lawnmower Jones: As far as the Television Title is concerned-
Suddenly, Bobby Cairo walks into the room and interrupts.
Bobby Cairo: Hank! What's up, man? How you been?
Hank and Jones stare at each other in disbelief.
Hank Brown: Ladies and gentlemen, it's... Bobby Cairo?!
Bobby Cairo: That's right, Hank, Robert H. Cairo is back in the WCF and I'm better than ever! Whoooooo!
Hank Brown: Well that's great, Bobby, but I'm interviewing Lawnmower Jones right now. He has a very important match coming up and-
Bobby Cairo: Now you hang on just one goddamn minute, Hank. Who the hell is Lawnmower Jones?
Cairo looks incredulously toward Jones.
Bobby Cairo: And who the hell let this hobo in here off the street?
Lawnmower Jones: I'm Lawnmower Jones...the guy who's about to rip you a new arsehole if you don't back off my face time!
Cairo chuckles to himself as Jones scowls at him.
Bobby Cairo: First of all, I would advise you to be very careful about who you threaten. Secondly, what the hell type of name is Lawnmower Jones? Maybe you and Edward Scissorhands should form a tag team! Ahahahhahahah!!
Lawnmower Jones: Cairo, you've got five seconds to leave me and my girl Lonnie's area before you get it...
Bobby Cairo: You and your girl Lonnie? I don't see any Lonnie. I see you standing there next to a lawnmower.
Hank Brown: Um, Bobby, the lawnmower's name is Lonnie.
Cairo looks puzzled for a moment before a huge smile comes across his face.
Bobby Cairo: Bahahahahhahaha!! That's the funniest thing I've ever heard! You must be out of your goddamn mind!! Ahahahahaha!! His wife is a lawnmower hahahah!!
Cairo doubles over in laughter and turns his back to Jones. Jones' face turns a deep red and then...
Lawnmower Jones: Argh!
Cairo stops laughing and turns around, only to be immediately tackled by Jones. Jones viciously pounds away at the fallen Cairo.
Lawnmower Jones: You stupid has been! Pay for your slander! Argh!
Hank Brown: Security! Someone get security over here dammit! Jones has gone ballistic!
A group of security guards rush over and pull Jones off of Cairo.
Lawnmower Jones: How does it feel, Cairo?! How does it feel to be a victim?!
The security guards struggle to hold Jones back as he tries to break free.
Lawnmower Jones: Get off a me, ya bastards! I'll kill ya! I'll kill each and every one of ya!
As the guards are holding Jones back, Hank helps Cairo to his feet. Cairo stumbles around for a moment and falls back down.
Hank Brown: We need medics over here! Cairo's hurt bad!
The camera cuts back to Shannan, Zach, and Luscious at the broadcast booth.
Zach Davis: Wow...looks like LJ just went crazy.
Shannan Lerch: Yeah, that's what happens when you start talking about his girl, Lonnie. Very romantic if you ask me.
Luscious Jackson: Word, ho. Nobody likes it when another dude talks about your girl in a disrespectful way, and calling Lonnie a lawnmower was definitely disrespectful.
Zach Davis: Speaking of LJ, he's in our next match now! The number one contendership for the TV Title.
Television Title Contendership Match
Lawnmower Jones vs David Alastair vs Chris Avery vs Conrad Howell
The words "My Name is Lawnmower Jones, and I Love to Mow!" are heard across the arena. Then, Scottish bagpipes are heard around the arena, as a motor starting then a lawnmower mowing is heard. Lawnmower Jones walks out from the back pushing his lawnmower Lonnie to the ring. He sneers at all the fans and refuses to touch anyone. When he gets ringside, he leaves Lonnie by the lower left ringpost, and slides into the ring. He shouts thing at the crowd then stretches in one corner.
Shannan Lerch: He's my pick to win it right now. Nobody can stop this guy, especially since he warmed up on that Bobby Cairo.
Zach Davis: You may have a good point Shannan. But we are going to see some really good wrestlers in this opening match tonight though, so I wouldn't underestimate anyone.
“In Bed with Quinsy” by Albannach starts to play, the crowd gives a mixed reaction, as Conrad Howell with the lovely Shanon walk out to the center of the entrance. Conrad sticks his arms out to the side and tilts his head to look up as Shanon stands behind him with her arms around his waist. After a few seconds of posing, a pyro archway fires down the aisle as Conrad and Shanon make their way to the ring, while Conrad bounces to the music. Conrad stops at the ring side area and watches Shanon walk up the ring steps onto the ring apron. She then turns and leans against the ropes facing Conrad and flips backwards over the top rope into the ring. Conrad then starts bouncing from one foot to the other in sync with the drums, then slides in the ring as Shanon walks over and sits on the top turnbuckle. Conrad backs in front of her and raises his arms as she takes his shirt off while his music fades.
Zach Davis: David Alastair hurt Conrad Howell's ankle pretty good last week. Will it be enough to keep him down?
Luscious Jackson: I don't know. But what I do know is we have another Shannon, and she is fizzine! Damn!
Shannan Lerch: Bet she's a prostitute...
The beginning of "Atomic Garden" introduces a sheet of light fog, which covers the entrance way. Seen at the right angle, one can manage to see a figure standing behind the fog. As the words "Everybody wants to dance in a playpen/But nobody wants to play in my garden/I see the hippies on an angry line/Guess they don't get my meaning" rattles through the arena, David Alastair steps out of the fog.
A good deal of cheers reign down on David, as he inhales, exhales, and looks around, giving the impression of scanning the path before him. "I'm enchanted by the birds in my blossoms/I'm enamored by young lovers on the weekend/I like the Fourth of July/When bombs start flashing/And I wish I had a shiny red top/A bugle with a big brass bell would cheer me up/Or maybe something bigger that could really go pop!" rings into the sound system, David spreads his arms outward and stays like that until the chorus comes in.
"So I could make the gardening stop/Come out to play/Come out to play/And we'll pretend it's Christmas Day/In my atomic..."
As "Atomic Garden" continues to play, David then proceeds down the ramp and slides into the ring. David proceeds to taunt on the nearest turnbuckle. He embraces the crowd reactions by extending his arms out and proceeds to slowly step off the turnbuckle, preparing for his upcoming match...
Zach Davis: When David Alastair shows up, he's dangerous. But that's not always the case...
Luscious Jackson: He's in and out of here more than a dick in Paris Hilton's vagina!
Shannan Lerch: I know we're on PPV, but we're trying to run a classy show here. Geez.
Baby Boy comes over the loud speakers and Chris Avery makes his way to the ramp. He takes in all of the cheers and applause and makes his way down the ramp. He slides into the ring and awaits his opponent.
Zach Davis: Chris Avery is a young and talented-
As Avery enters the ring, all four men begin attacking one another. Jones and Alastair trade rights while Avery and a damaged Howell brawl.
Luscious Jackson: This is madness!
Howell gains the advantage and clotheslines Avery over the ring while Jones does the same to Alastair. Jones and Avery then look at one another. Avery runs towards Jones, who sidesteps Avery. As Avery turns around, Jones delivers a stiff sidekick to Avery's face, who falls. Jones goes to cover Avery.
Zach Davis: Could it be?
Out of nowhere, David Alastair performs a diving head butt from the top rope. Jones sees this and breaks the pin, allowing Alastair to hit Avery with the head butt. Both Avery and Alastair shriek in pain as Howell limps back into the ring.
Zach Davis: Alastair with a huge head butt!
Shannan Lerch: Looked stupid. They BOTH were injured.
Luscious Jackson: I usually don't agree with whores, but this one is right.
Jones looks to Howell, who stares right back. They both look in at Alastair and begin zoning in on him. Jones and Howell both nod and the crowd boos, seeing that the two have formed an alliance.
Zach Davis: The Scots are teaming up!
Shannan Lerch: Brilliant strategy by Jones! This is obviously a play from Logan's book!
Avery seems to have suffered some sort of concussion, seeing as he has not gotten up. Jones performs a Rev the Engine on Alastair, followed by a Quick Drop With a Sudden Stop by Howell. The two double pin Alastair.
Zach Davis: And David Alastair is the first man eliminated! Avery looks to be in deep trouble with the Jones/Howell alliance.
Jones grabs Avery's head and lifts him up. By now, Avery has begun to stir. Avery takes a wild swing and misses, hitting the ref. Jones lets Avery drop and then looks at Howell, laughing.
Lawnmower Jones: Get a chair!
Howell hobbles out of the ring to get a chair.
Zach Davis: Oh come on!
Shannan Lerch: All is fair in love and war!
Howell enters back into the ring. Jones takes the chair and begins beating Avery with it. Avery is obviously knocked out. Howell grabs the chair from him and throws it to the side. Howell says "Just pin him!" Jones spits in Howell's face and then slaps him. Jones picks up the chair as the crowd boos.
Zach Davis: I think we need a new ref!
Shannan Lerch: Paging Thunder. I repeat, paging Thunder!
Luscious Jackson: This is sick. Somebody needs to disqualify Jones already!
From out of the back comes Bobby Cairo with a chair in his hand. He bolts into the ring and taps Jones on the shoulder. Jones turns around, ready to swing. Both chairs collide and fall to the ground. Jones is taken back while Cairo gains the offensive.
Zach Davis: Cairo to the rescue!
The crowd cheers for Cairo as he begins to assault Jones. Cairo has Jones on his knees and covering up. Cairo delivers a tiger driver to Jones. Jones lays there in the ring.
Bobby Cairo: Watch out Jonesy, watch out.
Shannan Lerch: Quick, somebody get some help!
Cairo exits the ring and pets Lonnie on her handlebar as he leaves, prompting the crowd to give a unanimous woo.
Zach Davis: He's a womanizer, as well.
Now, four men lay motionless in the ring: Jones, Howell, Avery and the ref. Avery begins to get up and so does Howell. The two see each other and begin to slug it out. Howell takes the offensive and gives a weak whip into the ropes. Avery comes back and gets a belly to belly suplex. Howell goes for the pin.
Zach Davis: There is no ref!
Shannan Lerch: And no Jones.
Luscious Jackson: Anyone else want some popcorn?
A fresh ref runs out from the back and begins a count.
Avery gets his arm up at the last second. Howell lifts Avery up. The two men turn around, and out of nowhere, Jones hits both of them with his fists, causing them both to drop. The camera shows Jones put away brass knuckles in his overalls.
Zach Davis: He cheated!
Shannan Lerch: If you ain't cheating, you ain't trying.
Luscious Jackson: Word.
Jones quickly covers Avery.
Jones rolls Avery out of the ring. He then goes to pin Howell, but catches an image of Bobby Cairo walking back out onto the ramp. Cairo is smirking as he walks down the aisle. Jones begins looking towards him and pointing to him.
Zach Davis: Again? What's he doing here?
Cairo gets to where Lonnie is and smirks to Jones, then grabs Lonnie. Jones goes points to Cairo, warning him. Howell quickly gets Jones in a school boy!
Zach Davis: Howell is the number one contender!
Jones is infuriated as Cairo backs up and leaves the area, with Lonnie.
Alliance of Violence Segment
We cut to Seth Lerch’s office as the Alliance of Violence’s very own “Sweet” Willy Carter in his Italian suit is sitting in a chair in front of Seth.
“Sweet” Willy Carter: And that’s why we feel that we should change this gauntlet match into the AoV Gauntlet and leave the other 3 guys out of the match and just allow us to handle Creeping Death.
Seth Lerch: *smirk* How about no? I made the match and it will go as planned, I’m sorry that I can’t help you any further.
“Sweet” Willy Carter: You see, we are really trying to make an impact here and by allowing us to take out the other 3 guys involved..it’d really help us out and boost the ratings of WCF.
Seth Lerch: Hmmm...yeah...well, NO! I like the match the way it is...sorry.
“Sweet” Willy Carter: Why? Why will you not give us a chance to carry the ball here?
Seth Lerch: There are a lot of reasons why I won’t give you your match...but your buddy Boone has had a few bad feelings towards me. So, he continues with his belligerence then I will continue denying the AoV of anything.
“Sweet” Willy Carter: Seth, we can do this the easy way...or the hard way...
Seth Lerch: Better yet...we will do things...MY WAY! Get out!
Seth points to the door. Willy Carter gets up and opens the door, as he opens the door he notices Davey Boone and Adam Knite leaning up against the door trying to listen in with a potato! A POTATO!
Davey Boone: Uhhh..so what’d he say?
“Sweet” Willy Carter: Looks like we go to plan B guys..what the hell are you guys doing?
Adam Knite: Boone had the idea of listening in on the conversation with a potato...and it isn’t working for some reason.
Carter rolls his eyes and walks away as Boone and Knite are still standing there.
Adam Knite: You think the potato is broken?
Davey Boone: You can’t break a freakin potato!
Adam Knite: Then I guess your spud is a dud....
Davey Boone: My spud is a dud? Yeah, I’m a stud with a spud that is a dud!
Adam Knite: No, your spud is a dud and you are a cud....yellow cud...more! Let’s go goober!
Both Boone and Knite leave the scene and follow behind Carter. What is this “Plan B” Carter and the AoV are talking about?
Rick Mad vs Outcast
Frantic by Metallica hits, and the crowd begins to boo. The lights go green, and Rick Mad emerges from the back. He walks to the ring, talking trash to a few fans while he goes. He slides in, climbs a turnbuckle, and raises his arms while green pyro bursts from the other three.
Shannan Lerch: If he ever forgot which turnbuckle to go to and chose the wrong one, he'd be screwed.
God of Thunder by KISS hits next, and the crowd cheers as Outcast steps out! He storms down the ramp and slides right in, ready to wrestle. Immediately, Mad slides out.
Zach Davis: Mad was the one that made this challenge, so he really shouldn't be acting so cowardly.
Outcast slides out, chasing Rick, who runs for a few feet, around a turnbuckle, then slides back in. Outcast slides in after him, and of course Rick starts stomping away at him. The bell rings. Outcast gets to his feet as Rick continues kicking, and Rick throws him to the other side of the ring. Outcast bounces off the ropes, Rick runs and goes for a Clothesline, Outcast ducks, both men are running and Outcast hits a Clothesline this time, Rick goes down. Outcast stomps away now, and once again Rick rolls out of the ring.
Luscious Jackson: He really is a pussy.
Outcast slides out again, this time having the advantage. He attacks Rick from behind, hitting a forearm to the back. He then throws him hard into the guardrail. Outcast backs up, runs, Clotheslines Rick, and sends both of them flying over and into the crowd!
Shannan Lerch: Some fans are getting more than their money's worth tonight!
Outcast begins to pick Rick up, but Rick hits a low blow. Rick steadies himself and hits a picture perfect Dropkick, sending Outcast flying back over the rail. Rick climbs over himself, rolls into the ring to break up the count, and rolls back out.
Zach Davis: Neither of these men want a countout victory.
Mad picks Outcast up and attempts to execute a Vertical Suplex, but Outcast is too heavy and has too much power, and is able to counter it. Outcast hits the Suplex instead, and Mad hits the ground hard. Outcast picks him up and throws him into the ring, then slides in himself and covers.
No, Mad gets the shoulder up.
Shannan Lerch: Rick Mad is fantastic.
Luscious Jackson: I'm sure that ain't got nothin' to do with he bein' friends wit yo brother?
Shannan Lerch: Of course not.
Outcast goes to pick Mad up, but Mad grabs Outcast's leg and brings him down. Rick hits a bunch of quick kicks to the head, but Outcast keeps getting to his feet regardless.
Zach Davis: I swear, Outcast is unstoppable.
Once Outcast is up, Mad hits a quick, hard kick to his gut and then executes a picture perfect Snap Suplex. He then starts kicking at Outcast's leg several times before pulling him into the middle of the ring and wrapping him up in a Figure Four Leglock.
Luscious Jackson: Hundreds of suckas have tapped out to this move, Outcast might be one more!
But no, Outcast knows what dozens of other men put in this move knew too: he begins turning himself over, using his weight, which will put the pressure of the move onto Rick instead. But Mad wisely releases the hold before he can, but holds onto one of the legs and starts a Spinning Leg Lock.
Shannan Lerch: Shades of Terry Funk.
Outcast yells in pain a few times, but eventually is able to kick Rick off. Rick slams hard into a turnbuckle, and Outcast quickly rolls him up from behind!
No! Mad escapes again!
Zach Davis: Another nearfall. Mad hasn't even been able to try to pin Outcast yet!
Shannan Lerch: That's because he's focusing on submissions, ass.
Both men are to their feet, and they begin brawling. Mad kicks Outcast square in the gut, and goes for the Mad DDT!, but Outcast pushes him off, right into a turnbuckle. Outcast then runs at him and hits the Sick Twist!
Luscious Jackson: Uh oh. Here we go.
Outcast then quickly picks Mad up onto the turnbuckle... climbs up with him.. Piledriver off the top rope!
Zach Davis: He hit the Black Out! This is it!
Outcast makes the pin.
Shannan Lerch: Outcast has won the Legends match.
The crowd cheers as Outcast stands up and has his arm raised. He then slides out and heads to the back.
The arena erupts with a series of boos as Silvio Megala makes his way to the ring. A podium not unsimilar to that used by the president of the United States as been placed in the centre of the ring. Instead of the presidential symbol we see a picture of Silvio giving the thumbs up. Silvio makes his way to the podium and smiles at the crowd. The ring announcer hands him the mic.
Silvio Megala: Good evening ladies and gentlemen! Thank you for your warm reception!
Silvio must be clinically deaf as the crowd have booed him from the moment he appeared. They obviously know all about this man’s reputation.
Silvio Megala: Please hold your applause for a few moments!
Maybe he’s just ignoring the boos?
Silvio Megala: Well the contract has been signed and sealed! Standing before you is the newest competitor here in the WCF! A man who has been unparalleled in the world of business, fashion and indeed professional wrestling! Standing before you is the 2 time NIWF world champion, the one time IWG world champion, the man who won 400 consecutive matches in Italy! The man who wrote the presidential speeches for the president’s 2004 election campaign! Standing before you is none other than the great Silvio Megala!
Silvio sticks his head even further in the air with a look of complete pride etched across his rather handsome features.
Silvio Megala: Indeed it is a honour and a privilege for the WCF to have the billion dollar emperor within its ranks! The WCF staff are quite rightly proud of themselves that they have pulled off such a tremendous coup! As you know companies from all around the wrestling world have been striving to get the signature of the hottest free agent on the market! Hopefully those who were unsuccessful did not plough too much of their resources into the negotiations!
Zach Davis: ...I've heard of this guy before, but I didn't think he was THIS much of a jackass.
Silvio Megala: The WCF like every other federation with aspirations contacted Megala Enterprises and were one of the few who got next to the final stage of negotiations! The staff and yours truly conducted a very pleasant meeting in which the MWA legend negotiated a very lucrative deal for himself! Let’s just say Hulk Hogan’s WCW contract could be considered within the same financial bracket!
Silvio straightens his tie before continuing!
Silvio Megala: As you know the Italian genius came over to the United States over 3 years ago! The competition in Italy got a little stagnant. 400 consecutive wins in the Milan Wrestling Association was a fine achievement but the bigger challenges would be found abroad! It would be fair to say that the record hasn’t been blemished by losses...except for a few which could be considered tainted by an opponent’s devious means! So 3 world title reigns later and here we are! Together in the WCF! As for Megala Enterprises...who as you know is a world renowned billion dollar company is in very good hands! The private jet can always be commissioned for important meetings!
The crowd have stopped booing. They seem completely staggered by what they are hearing though not in a way that would suggest they are impressed.
Silvio Megala: So the details of the contract stated that the 6 time winner of the Milan Fashion Awards would appear here tonight at the biggest PPV of the year! Ah yes the Milan Fashion Awards...the greatest achievement yours truly has accomplished to date so you can imagine the prestige of such an event if that’s the case! The contract dictates that the Italian legend will not compete or appear at house shows! There’s only so many anti-drug campaigns and motivational speeches one can do and they take up enough time as it is!
Shannan Lerch: What an inspirational, fine, upstanding man!
Luscious Jackson: Yeah right. Seems about as genuine as a three dollar bill, y'all.
Silvio Megala: You must all be disappointed at this news. Well matches on free TV will take place on occasion so you won’t just see the figurehead of class and wealth compete on PPV! The next PPV buyrate will be shooting up to astronomical levels next month as the man standing before you will compete on the card! However before that there is an even more important announcement to make! You heard the comment regarding Tv appearances! Well the man greater than God himself will be appearing on the next free to air broadcast! Infact it has been decided that as a special treat the 2 time NIWF champion will have his WCF debut match featuring on the next upcoming show!
The crowd begin booing again. Silvio acts like he hasn’t heard anything.
Silvio Megala: There are however some concerns that must be addressed!
The crowd look like they have heard enough.
Silvio Megala: The WCF is a fine wrestling promotion! However it has been noted that there are certain elements of WCF programming that must be addressed as an essential matter of utmost importance! These concerns have been voiced to the network so they are keeping a very close eye on things! It seems that the WCF contains certain unsuitable elements within their broadcasts! These issues contain such concerns as the use of excessive violence. Another would be the repeated staining of broadcasts due to the consistent use of vulgar language!
Continued boos from the audience.
Silvio Megala: It must be stated that the man of a billion talents does not wish to be associated with such unsavoury behaviour! As a man of high values it is important that one’s image remains untarnished and unfortunately there is such a phrase as being tarnished by association. These unsuitable elements of programming have to be removed sooner rather than later by the staff of the WCF! If this isn’t achieved within due course...highly unlikely it must be said...then the billion dollar emperor will be prepared to eliminate those unsuitable elements personally! This is a new era for the WCF...an era of clean cut family entertainment! Thank you and have a good evening!
The crowd boo Silvio as he makes his way up the ramp. What does Silvio mean with his comment about “clean cut family entertainment?” The scene cuts to the announcers, where Shannan Lerch is standing up and applauding him.
Creeping Death vs Miguel Sanchez/Thorrska Rojida/Infra-Red/Adam Knite/Davey Boone
The lights slowly fade to black. Bells toll as the screen shows shots of a big wooden cross wrapped in barbed wire. It's a sunny day as the "happy" opening to "The Light That Blinds" by Shadows Fall plays.The crowd goes along with the sounds. "Doo-da-doo dooing" along with it. As the song gets darker and darker, the sunny day turns to night. Black clouds roll in and rain begins falling on the cross. Lightning crashes about. As the lightning crashes, white lights in the arena flash. When the song kicks up, thirty four seconds in, the entire crowd begins headbanging in unison and throwing the horns in the air as the lights come on just a tad, giving light to the dark. Standing on the stage is Creeping Death, wearing a black hoodie with the hood up, arms stretched out in a crucifix fashion. CD stands there for a second or thirty, until the vocals start, taking in the crowd's reaction. Then he slowly makes his way down the ramp, looking out into the audience. As he reaches the ring, he slides in under the bottom rope, and pops to his feet. CD walks over to a turnbuckle, jumps to the middle rope facing in the ring, does the crucifix pose once again, takes the hoodie off, and then takes a seat on the top turnbuckle, awaiting the match to begin.
Zach Davis: And here's the man that will run the Gauntlet of five, count them, five men. Any suggestions, Shannan, being the master of "Gauntlets"?
Shannan Lerch: I hate you.
Pain Redefined by Disturbed begins to boom through the arena. Not long after, Miguel Sanchez walks down the stage and onto the ramp with a robe on and a hood on his head. He goes down the ramp slowly and approaches the steel ring steps. He walks up slowly. At the top of the steps he takes off the hood and crosses himself with his fingers. He then walks onto the apron and into the ring. He takes off the black robe and begins to stretch.
Zach Davis: Creeping Death doesn't believe in God, and he hates people that press religion.
Luscious Jackson: Way to do your homework, crackah.
The bell rings and CD drops off the turnbuckle, walking up to Miguel, mocking him by crossing himself with devil horns, and royally kicking the hell out of Miguel's shin with a well placed sidekick. Sanchez drops to a knee and eats a spinning Shining Wizard to the skull, CD flatspinning out after hitting the move. Miguel almost cartwheels from the impact.
Zach Davis: Adding more impact by spinning there.
Shannan Lerch: Goddamnit I hate CD.
Wasting no time, CD picks The Sinner up and locks him in a Northern Lights Suplex, hitting it, and backflipping over. CD hoists Sanchez up and hits another backflip Northern Lights, again standing and lifting Miguel up. Instead of going backward this time, CD picks Sanchez up and then swings him back down while sitting out, hitting a modified Alabama Slam type move into a pin.
Shannan Lerch: HA! YES!
Creeping Death sits up to his knees and looks about. CD climbs up to the top rope and flies off in a huge Super Mario Stomp, right to Miguel's torso then hits a standing Moonsault splash right out of it while standing on Miguel. Another pin.
Shannan Lerch: HA! YES!
Luscious Jackson: That kickout was wack. Wow.
CD loses it. There's no way someone could have kicked out of that, no matter how fresh. So, CD unloads with soccer kicks all over Miguel's body. Upwards of twenty kicks in, CD punts Sanchez right in the face, knocking a tooth or two out. CD hastily picks Miguel up and holds onto his wrists, blood pouring from Sanchez's mouth. Keeping hold of Miguel's wrists, CD jumps up and places both his feet in Miguel's face. CD falls to his back while pulling down on Miguel's arms and pressing up on Miguel's face with his legs, causing a violent ricochet whiplash when CD hits the mat. Miguel literally backflips onto his stomach.
Zach Davis: OH MY GOD WHAT WAS THAT?!
A closeup shows Sanchez's nose has recoiled back into his face. CD turns Miguel over and pins.
The bell rings. EMTs run down and assist Miguel, who has no idea where or who he is. Replays are shown of the insane move CD delievered while Sanchez goes to the back.
Shannan Lerch: Goodbye Mister Sanchez. Call me when your face isn't broken anymore.
Thorrska Rojida walks in with two women beside him and removes his coat revealing his body. As he walks down the stage, Death's Best Friend plays in the background and flashing stobe lights and white fireworks from the ground light up as he approaches the ring.
Zach Davis: Man number two is Thorrska Rojida. How will he fare?
Luscious Jackson: Hopefully better than these other suckahs.
CD wastes zero time, flying over the top rope in a front flip plancha, landing on Thorrska and the women, knocking them all down. CD pounds on Thorrska's back with overhead hammer blows. Thorrska reels to the base of the ring where CD rushes. Thorrska presses CD up, however, Creeping Death handstands on the apron and bounces his body off the ropes, coming back down at Thorrska. CD puts his knees at Thorrska's face and hooks behind his head, using his momentum to hit a variation of Patient Zero!
Shannan Lerch: Good lord, what is with CD and breaking pretty faces?
Thorrska's nose is bleeding profusely. CD minds none, kicking away a little slower than usual, seemingly losing energy. Nevertheless, a fan hands CD a steel chair, which he slides into the ring. CD slides Thorrska into the ring, follows him in for the bell to ring, and then throws Thorrska to the apron. CD steps out, hooks Thorrska up in a Vertebreaker, and drops off the apron! Thorrska folds like an accodian, likely compressing his spine. Thorrska is done. Done. CD slides into the ring as the ref has no choice but to count Thorrska out.
Shannan Lerch: Holy crap. Thorrska was counted out, and I bet his loved ones can count him out of family functions for a while, I think he's in a coma!
Not literally, but EMTs and trainers load Thorrska onto a stretcher, regardless.
Luscious Jackson: CD is on a jobber killing streak. It's like Jobber Genocide!
The Only Medicine by Scary Kids Scaring Kids picks up over the speaker system. The songs plays loudly over the system, as from backstage Infra-Red walks out anxiously. Red paces down the ramp, and tags his caring fans, who didn't come, on each side of the ramp. At the bottom of the ramp, Infra-Red pulls himself up onto the apron, and tightly grasp the top rope. The fans are going nuts because they know CD is going to own Infra-Red, as Infra-Red hops over the top rope into the ring. Infra-Red quickly follows up by walking to the nearby ropes, and climbs up onto the middle rope, and raises his arms in the air.
Zach Davis: And here is...
CD has the chair set up and jumps off it flying towards Infra-Red in a dropkick, sending him in a frontflip over the top rope to the floor!
Shannan Lerch: Seriously! This has to stop!
Creeping Death leaps off the top rope and hits Infra-Red with a legdrop to the floor! CD throws Infra-Red into the ring and follows up with a springboard Shooting Star Press, landing on Red's back!
Luscious Jackson: CD is not letting up..
Creeping Death picks Red right off the ground and drops him with a DVD. Then a Fisherman Buster. Furiously throwing Red around like a ragdoll. CD stand Red up and begins straight punching him in the face, altering off lefts with rights. Red stands there and CD fires off with a White Death ... but Red falls down before it hits, and CD owns the ref! The ref sells like he got shot with a shotgun, flopping like a fish out of water.
Shannan Lerch: REF BUMP!
Sure enough, the ref can't see a damn thing. In true CD fashion, he leaves the ring and heads to the back. The crowd, who has been going nuts all match, starts getting quiet. Then they a splode. CD comes back to the WCF Arena with a giant board with barbed wire spools attached to the top of it on his back. CD reaches ringside and sets the board on the apron and guard rail like a bridge. Crowd. Goes. Nuts. Infra-Red is out in the ring. Creeping Death slides in and looks down at Infra-Red.
Shannan Lerch: GOD. DAMNIT! I HATE CD!
CD picks Red up and throws him into the turnbuckle. CD goes to the apron, and positions himself on the middle rope, back to back with Infra-Red. CD puts his hands under Red's arms, and lifts him in a Crucifix Bomb. CD throws Red over and hits The Crows Nest sitout powerbomb from the middle rope to the floor through the barbed wire board! Crowd explodes hard!
Zach Davis: NO!
CD tries to stand but ends up half way ripping his pants. Red is tangled up in the wire. When Creeping Death frees himself, he literally YANKS Red out of the barbed wire, tearing Red's back, arms, and legs to hell. CD throws Red into the ring and follows, and covers. The ref still can't hardly see. The crowd, however, counts...
The ref calls for the bell, trusting the crowd. The timekeeper hands the ref a water bottle to wash out his eyes.
Luscious Jackson: What an idiot ref. Trusting the crowd?! That's WIGGIDY WACK.
Rooster by Alice in Chains hits. Out walks Adam Knite and Davey Boone.
Shannan Lerch: I believe Davey Boone is entering the match first.
But, no, both men slide into the ring and immediately go on the attack!
Zach Davis: Apparently this was their "Plan B," and the Alliance of Violence has entered this match as a unit.
Shannan Lerch: YES.
They stomp away at CD, who is running out of energy from all the ass kicking. Knite picks CD up and lets Boone hit several stiff shots, before grabbing him and hitting a huge Powerbomb!
Luscious Jackson: CD's gotta fight back fast.
Knite picks CD up now, and hits a Rock Bottom, taking him right back down.
Zach Davis: I hear he calls that the Knites of the Round.
Boone goes to pick Creeping Death up, but CD has had enough. He starts fighting back, hitting a few shots and then hitting a Jawbreaker. Boone stumbles away, but before CD can mount any kind of offense, Knite runs at him and hits forearms from behind. Knite spins him around, and Creeping Death fires off a picture perfect Dropkick!
Shannan Lerch: NO! Come on, AoV!
Luscious Jackson: Creeping Death, getting his second wind here...
But again, the numbers game is too much. Boone is back in the game and he comes from behind and hits a Reverse DDT, taking CD down. Boone then picks CD up and throws him into the turnbuckle, while Knite begins climbing a different one.
Zach Davis: What are they setting up here?
Boone hits his Boone's Day Device!, and Knite flies off with a Legdrop at the same time!
Shannan Lerch: And that's the Call to Violence!
Knite makes the pin.
Luscious Jackson: Looks like the AoV has won this gauntlet!
Zach Davis: Not like it was remotely fair, being a handicapped match at the end, but whatever.
The AoV celebrates, and Willy Carter rolls into the ring, taking some of the spotlight.
Skyler Striker Segment
The camera comes backstage to the front door of a locker room, which reads ‘Metallica’. And indeed, as the camera pushes inside, sitting on a luxurious leather couch and watching on a plasma screen television are the four members of the biggest metal group of all time – Robert Trujillo, Kirk Hammett, Lars Ulrich and James Hetfield. All four have beers in hand, and are relaxing after their monumental performance at the opening of One. However, the camera pulls back to the doorway, and rushing in, dressed in an almost emo-looking black shirt and a set of torn maroon pants we know all too well, is Skyler Striker.
Skyler Striker: I’ve been looking all over for you guys.
James Hetfield: Everyone does. What’s up, kid?
Skyler Striker: Well, I have a favor to ask of you guys...
Skyler leans in and whispers to James, and James repeats it to the other members, all of whom nod.
James Hetfield: We’ll do it.
Skyler Striker: Thanks, guys!
Skyler rushes out of the room and James goes to have another drink but his bottle is empty.
James Hetfield: Where’s that Mexican who was bringing us beer? Miguel Sansomething?
The screen cuts back to Shannan, Luscious and Zach.
Shannan Lerch: Well, Skyler Striker has plans for Metallica, obviously.
Luscious Jackson: Damn, I thought they got sober!
Television Title Match
JJ Biggs vs Thunder
"Voices" by Disturbed hits the sound system and it echoes throughout the arena. The audience, with an exception of a few, are on their feets yelling insults and such in the direction of the entrance ram. A few moments later, the curtain brushes aside and Jake Hudson walks out onto the top of the stage and he's followed by JJ Biggs. Biggs is wearing a pair of expensive sunglasses and a self-promotion shirt. The shirt reads, "The Greatest" on the front and on the back it reads, "That Ever Lived." The two men slowly make their way down the ramp. Jake climbs up onto the ring apron while Biggs makes his way up the steel steps. Hudson holds down the middle rope as Biggs enters the ring. Biggs takes off his shirt and sunglasses; and he acts as if he's going to throw them into the crowd for souvenirs, instead, he hands them to Hudson.
Zach Davis: JJ Biggs is trying to become a two time Television Champion, but he's going to have to get through Thunder first.
Shannan Lerch: And that's not an easy task.
Luscious Jackson: It's an easy task. In fact, getting past Thunder is easier than your mother, Zach.
Zach Davis: That's not cool.
"Money" by Pink Floyd begins to play. As the cash register sound ends and the music begins, Thunder walks towards the ring. He reaches the apron and climbs the turnbuckle, taunting the fans.
Zach Davis: And there's the Television Champion.
Shannan Lerch: And People's Champion! Don't forget that.
Luscious Jackson: I think when JJ finishes taking the Television Title away from him, I should jump into the ring and take the People's Title away.
Zach Davis: I'd like to see you try.
Shannan Lerch: Yeah, I'd love to see that.
The bell rings. The size difference between these two men sticks out like a sore thumb. JJ Biggs has a smirk on his face as he slowly begins to circle around the edge of the wrestling ring. Thunder is doing the same, except in the opposite direction. Thunder decides on the perfect moment to attack and he charges in. Instead of going for a Clothesline, which is what Biggs was ready for, he drops down to the mat and he pulls Biggs' legs out from under him. Biggs falls to the mat chest first - with his face bouncing off the mat with a thud. Thunder stays perpendicular to Biggs and he tries to embarrass him with multiple slaps to the back of the head. Thunder climbs to his feet and he poses with his arms above his head. He gets a crowd reaction; but some of the things the crowd is saying is probably not what you want your children to hear.
Zach Davis: Thunder doesn't seem to be taking this match seriously.
Shannan Lerch: That could be a mistake if he doesn't kick it into gear.
Luscious Jackson: A hugeeeeeeee mistake.
Biggs seems to be a little angry as he climbs back to his feet. Thunder has a smile on his face as he stares across the ring at his opponent. Biggs runs in Thunder's direction and he goes for a Clothesline, but Thunder ducks under it and he takes off for the ropes. He bounces off the ropes and he hits Biggs in the right knee with a Dropkick. Biggs falls to his knees immediately and a painful facial expression appears on his face. Thunder is quickly back to his feet and he measures Biggs up before nailing him in the side of the head with a Shining Wizard. He goes for the lateral press as the referee begins the count, 1.................2.........Biggs gets his shoulder up from the mat.
Zach Davis: Looks like he's taking it seriously now.
Shannan Lerch: Yeah, he's laying it on Biggs early in this match.
Luscious Jackson: Truth.
Thunder pulls Biggs up into a seated position and he locks in a Rear Chin Lock. This submission move isn't being used to put away Biggs - instead it's being used to wear him down. Biggs doesn't like being in this predictament - nor would anyone else for that matter - and he tries to use his strength advantage as he attempts to pull apart Thunder's interlocked fingers. He eventually does so and he climbs back to his feet. For a second time, Biggs tries to go for a Clothesline, but Thunder ducks under this one as well and he slams Biggs to the mat with a lightning quick T-Bone Suplex. He goes right into a pinning predictament from the move and the referee slides over to make the count, 1................2...........KICK OUT!
Zach Davis: Near fall!
Luscious Jackson: Not really.
Thunder is quickly back to his feet, but his arrogance is coming out again. He once again poses for the crowd before diverting his attention back to his grounded opponent. He grabs a handful of Biggs' hair and he tries to pull him up to his feet; but Biggs turns the momentum with an illegal low blow. Thunder stumbles backwards before dropping down to the mat holding onto his crotch in a severe amount of pain. The referee is barking at Biggs warning him, but Biggs ignores him as he slowly gets back to his feet. Thunder is using the ropes to get back to his feet. He's still feeling the effects from the low blow, but he's trying to get back into the match. Biggs doesn't want to give him the chance as he lays into Thunder with a few European Uppercuts that send Thunder stumbling back into the corner. Biggs grabs the arm of Thunder and he Irish Whips him across the ring into the opposite corner. He does this with so much force that Thunder hits the corner and flips to the outside of the wrestling ring! Biggs is satisfied with himself and he takes a moment to pose with his arms stretched out. He gets the same reponse that Thunder did earlier in the match. He grins before making his way to the ropes and exiting the ring to the outside.
Zach Davis: JJ Biggs has managed to turn the moment in this match.
Shannan Lerch: Indeed he has. Thunder went flying over that top rope.
Luscious Jackson: I missed it. I was too busy falling asleep.
Biggs pulls Thunder up to his feet and he lifts him up into the air. He doesn't hesitate before dropping Thunder face first onto the ring apron. The referee seems to be letting these two fight as he's on the outside of the ring with them and he's not issuing the ten count. Biggs grabs Thunder's head and he walks him over to the metal ramp. Biggs has the same grin he had earlier as he delivers a toe-kick to the midsection of Thunder. Without missing a beat he grabs both of Thunder's arms and he drops him down head first with a Double-Arm DDT! Thunder's head makes a gross thud as it bounces off of the unforgiving steel. The referee is trying to talk Biggs into taking this match back to the ring, but he has other plans. He lays into the hurt Thunder with a few stomps to his exposed chest just adding to the painful situation. He seems satisfied before pulling him up to his feet. He walks Thunder over to the apron and he begins to slam Thunder's head off of it repeatedly. After about four or five of these, he rolls Thunder into the ring. Thunder is now bleeding from a cut on his forehead.
Zach Davis: JJ Biggs has busted Thunder open!
Luscious Jackson: Way to state the obvious.
Biggs rolls into the ring as well and he tries to get the victory with a lateral press, 1................................2............................Thunder manages to get his shoulder up at the last possible moment. The men in the back almost started to play Biggs' theme music to early after that one. Biggs can't believe it as he sits on his knee staring up at the referee. He slams his hand on the mat three times before sticking three fingers up, but the referee shakes his head. Biggs climbs to his feet slowly and he reluctantly pulls Thunder up to his feet. Biggs Irish Whips Thunder into the ropes and he bounces off with a lot of momentum. Thunder ducks under a Big Boot attempt by Biggs and he continues running into the opposite ropes. Biggs turns around and he gets nailed with a Spear! Both men are down in the center of the ring.
Shannan Lerch: It's anyone's match now.
Thunder is up first, pulling Biggs with him. Thunder throws Biggs to the ropes, and tries lifting him up for a Death Valley Driver!, but Biggs slides behind Thunder's back and hits the Lights Out!
Zach Davis: That's it!
NO! Thunder kicks out!
Luscious Jackson: Who kicks out of that move?!
Shannan Lerch: Thunder, apparently!
Biggs stands up and almost begins arguing with the referee, but thinks better of it. Instead, he decides to wait for Thunder to get to his feet, stalking him for the Biggs Implant, most likely. Thunder is up, Biggs picks him up like a Vertical Suplex, but this time Thunder is the one that shifts his bodyweight and ends up behind Biggs. He locks in the Cobra Clutch!
Zach Davis: Thunder has Biggs in the middle of the ring! This is his move!
Biggs yells in pain, struggling to get out of the move, but to no avail. The ref is right in his face, asking him if he wants to quit.. Thunder backs up, getting Biggs even farther away from the ring ropes...
Luscious Jackson: Biggs has to tap out!
But Jake Hudson rolls into the ring, behind Thunder and out of the ref's point of view, and hits a low blow! Hudson quickly gets out of there, and this gives Biggs the advantage to escape the Clutch. He quickly grabs Thunder and hits the Biggs Implant!
Shannan Lerch: Biggs hits it!
And another pin!
Zach Davis: JJ Biggs has recaptured the Television Title. Well, JJ Biggs and Jake Hudson, rather.
Thunder tries telling the ref what happened, but it's no use. The ref hands Biggs the Title and he raises it into the air to a chorus of booing.
Luscious Jackson: Well there is the first Title switch of the evening!
Shannan Lerch: And it won't be the last, since we know there will be a new World Champion tonight. And we still have Vice vs Striker coming up of course.
Biggs and Hudson head to the back.
Jack of Blades Segment
Zach Davis: And, now we’re being told that we’re going backstage to catch a glimpse of the preparatory training for one of the competitors in our main event, Jack of Blades.
Shannan Lerch: I bet he’s wearing my underwear in some kind of Wiccan practice to gain my courage for tonight’s match.
Zach Davis: That’s impossible. I’m wearing them underneath this suit.
Shannan Lerch: I do hope that you are kidding. Anyway, let’s go back to Blades’ locker-room to see the man himself in preparation for tonight. I wouldn’t be surprised to see a plethora of empty needles...
We do indeed cut to Jack of Blades’ locker-room that is furnished in such a fashion to represent the elegant tastes and elitist nature of the performer in question. However, the delicate arras and the obese television screen cannot hide the fact that it is simply a decorated changing room with its whitewash walls and wooden benches obtrusive to the very subterfuge that there has been an attempt to create. More imperfections to the illusion come to the fact that both ‘Dys’, Jack’s latest ego-boosting acquisition, and his tag title are seated on austere metallic chairs common to such arenas. The former coquette-cum-arm candy lightly traces one of her index fingers down the inscription on the belt proclaiming the owner as ‘Jack of Blades’ seemingly amusing herself with the mere visual evidence of her misanthropic beau’s achievements. Seemingly white noise at first, the hissing of falling rain can be heard constantly throughout the scene although the well-sheltered headquarters of Blades’ seems to suggest this is not an actual example of precipitation bursting from cumulus clouds as opposed to an example of the pathetic fallacy. Dys’ attention is soon drawn away from the title belt as she hears and sees the closing of a door and entrance of a new figure, away from the camera’s vision. She moves up to greet her visitor only for the camera to reveal it to be a suited, neatly attired Jesper.
Dys: Jesper, I assume?
Jesper Reisert: Wow! You’re a real woman! With boobs and everything...
Jesper Reisert: Can I...doesn’t matter. Is the boss in?
Dys: Jack is...showering. I don’t think you should go in.
Jesper Reisert: Don’t matter. I’ve seen it all before. Boss!
Jesper pulls back the arras revealing another, tiled room, presumably the inbuilt bathroom. Jesper moves through into it as Dys simply falls back into her chair. Jesper moves past the Jacuzzi and toilet while the omnipresent, invisible cameraman follows in his stead. Jesper passes a few cubicles before stopping at the one with a puddle emerging out of the threshold. Pulling the door open, Jesper reveals to the camera a seated, fully-dressed Jack of Blades, leant against the wall, allowing a heavy stream of water from the showerhead to douse him. His clothes are entirely saturated and his usually styled, maintained hair has turned into a black curtain draped down and propelling the collected water from his mass of hair down to the floor below. He stares methodically at something intangible and yet imperatively important within his own perception, completely unaware of his sidekick’s presence. Jesper, careful not to wet his Armani trousers moves towards his comatose boss, switches the shower off, and lowers himself to Jack’s level. Jack, without moving his glare or any other part of his body bar his left arm, reaches up and switches the shower back on instigated further rainfall.
Jesper Reisert: Boss. Boss, it’s me. All I wanted to say was that, I wanted to thank you about tonight and what I’m getting to do. If it weren’t for you, I’d still be the mini-spoon with Big Jacobs Dinosaur at San Quentin before having a water-balloon match with the other BGF members. But, here I am, at One about to interview PC Cradle! That’s like two steps up! So, thanks and also good luck, tonight...boss.
Jesper goes to stand up realizing that he has failed to penetrate the trance that the Bastard Clown is deep within. As he moves away, Blades, still not disrupting his glazed expression, grabs Jesper by the arm and causes him to sit down.
Jack of Blades: Three men die and end up in Hell. We shall call them for the intentions of this: Dexter, Trevor and Colin. When all three men wake-up, they find themselves in a realm of brimstone and agony as explosions provide background viewing and demons whirl around enjoying their suffering. In front of the group lies a door, which suddenly swings open. At the other side, is a hideous vile embodiment of feminism: a three-foot-four lesbian with a jungle of armpit hair under each arm. Her dental work leaves a lot to be desired as she only has two teeth: one for opening, the other for chewing. She itches down below as visible pubic lice worm their way around, drawing blood with each bloated nip. Suddenly, a booming, deathly-improper, voice echoes across the room and declares ‘Dexter, you have sinned. As your punishment you must sleep with this woman for eternity.’ The horrid woman drags Dexter away and the door swings shut as Dexter faces his sin. Soon after, the door swings open and a new woman appears. Apparently modelling herself over John Merrick, she is the epitome of feminine decay. Seven-foot-nine and weighing an impressive three-hundred-and-ninety-pounds of pure blubber, this supposed land mammal makes her way over to Trevor. Showing signs of both Syphillis and HIV, her disgusting, rotting flesh drops off with each motion and her natural odour is so physically repugnant that it has the magnified intensity of mace blinding Trevor. Again, the booming voice announces its intentions claiming ‘Trevor, you have sinned. As your punishment you must sleep with this woman for eternity.’ This woman once again drags Trevor through the door and it swings shut, deafening the muffled screams. Now, Colin is absolutely terrified at what he will have to face. The attributes of his punishment. As the door swings open he feels nothing but regret for his miserable life, that is until, he sees Jessica Alba standing there, made out to look more beautiful than she has ever managed. The booming voice once again pips in with ‘Jessica, you have sinned...’
Jesper doesn’t so much as laugh as nod his head in appreciation. He hits Jack on the back as a show of friendship before leaving him to contemplate whatever a madman does do at such moments. The cameramen remains capturing the static Jack of Blades before capturing Dys stand in its way and open her corset to the vision of her erratic lover.
Dys: What in me is dark Illumine, what is low raise and support; that to the height of this great argument, I may assert eternal providence, and justify the ways of God to men..
Jack breaks his state of concentration and embraces her bringing her into the shower before closing the cubicle door. The camera remains active just long enough to hear the awaited return of that sick laughter we have all heard many times before.
No Disqualification, Falls Count Anywhere Match
Reckless Jack vs Seth Lerch
Master of Puppets hits, and Seth walks out. He walks to the ring, slapping a few hands, and rolls in. He headbangs a bit to the music once he's in the ring.
Shannan Lerch: My brother, facing Reckless Jack here tonight at One.
Zach Davis: And remember, anything goes.
The faint opening of Trivium's "Pull Harder On The Strings Of Your Martyr" fills the dark WCF Arena. Everyone pays attention to the tron screen as we are treated to view the debut of Reckless Jack. We see him hit Creeping Death with a Springboard Bulldog. Then we go to Reckless Jack's first match where he lost thanks to a kendo stick shot by Creeping Death. Clips are shown of Reckless Jack and Creeping Death from the first One. The crowd cheers when they relieve the moment when RJ pulls down the Cruiserweight Title. Then we shift to the feud against Nate Nytro with highlights of their Hardcore Match on Slam, their match at Aftermath and then finally their showdown at One in the Three Stages of Hell match. The crowd keeps on cheering as we move into the 2006 and Till Death Do Us Part. We see the highlight of Reckless Jack holding the WCF World Title with pyro exploding in the background. Then to his first matches against Logan. His comeback as Brad Wallace then back to being Reckless Jack. Highlights of his Hardcore Match against Torture are shown as the crowd cheers seeing Reckless Jack do what he does best. Then we go back to the matches against Logan. Finally, we end this highlight package with the build up to the match with Seth Lerch here on the third One.
Zach Davis: That was very nicely done by the WCF Production Crew.
Shannan Lerch: Props go to them.
The lights stay out as the opening of Ra's "Sky" fills the P.A. as the crowd really gets on their feet. More highlights of Reckless Jack are shown on the tron screen. We see a few fans faintly in the stands, cheering like none other. As the song really starts, people start to take pictures and whatnot. During the first verse, faint red strobe light flashes over the arena. Finally, when the chorus hits, pyro explodes as Reckless Jack appears on the stage, on his one knee and head down. He stays that way as the strobe light continues to flash all over the arena. People are still standing on their feet as the second verse is going. Reckless Jack doesn't move at all until the chorus hits again. He jumps up to his feet and throws his arms out. The rain of pyro comes down behind him as we see the tears in his eyes. Reckless Jack quits the pose and starts to walk down to the ramp. He slaps the hand of every fan he encounters on the way down the ramp. Once he gets to the bottom of the ramp, he stops and throws his arms out again as the pyro shoots down the ramp way. A few fans throw streamers onto Reckless Jack, who is trying his best not to cry at this moment. He runs and slides into the ring. Reckless Jack gets onto the top rope and throws his arms out again. He hops down and kneels down in the middle of the ring. The fans throw more streamers into the ring as Reckless Jack jumps back up to his feet and takes in the cheers from the crowd. The ring is covered in streamers right now as Reckless Jack takes his hoodie off and throws it into the crowd. He finally gets down in his usual position for a match to start.
Crowd: RECKLESS JACK! RECKLESS JACK! RECKLESS JACK!
Reckless Jack nods at them as the ring announcer steps into the ring.
Ring Announcer: Ladies and gentlemen, this match is No Disqualifications, Falls Count Anywhere, and the final farewell to Reckless Jack.
The crowd cheers.
Ring Announcer: In the corner to my left, he is from Oley, Pennsylvania and weighing in tonight at 198 lbs. He is your owner of Wrestling Championship Federation, he is SETH LERCH!!!
Guess what, the crowd boos at Seth Lerch. He doesn't let them get to him.
Ring Announcer: And in the corner to my right, he is from Brooklyn, New York and weighing in tonight at 215 lbs. He is a former Wrestling Championship Federation Cruiserweight Champion, 2005 War Games Winner, and a former Wrestling Championship Federation World Champion as well as the only person to hold both the Cruiserweight and World Championships in WCF History, he is RECKLESS JACK!!!
The crowd explodes for Reckless Jack as he gets to his feet and bows at the crowd.
Luscious Jackson: Why are they cheering this jackass? Isn't he leaving for some place else?
Zach Davis: He is but that doesn't take away that he got his start in wrestling here in WCF and was a fantastic competitor during his stay here. He earned the respect of these people and he respects them right back.
The ref explains the rules to both men. Reckless Jack and Seth Lerch look at each other with nothing but hate in their eyes. Seth hating Reckless Jack for leaving the company that made him and Reckless Jack hating Seth Lerch for the hell he has put him through. There is nothing on the line, just pride. Just the fact of knowing that this is Reckless Jack's last match in WCF for good. This is legit. Reckless Jack looks at the crowd before jumping around, getting warmed up. The bell rings as we are underway in this match here tonight.
Crowd: LET'S GO RECKLESS! LET'S GO RECKLESS! LET'S GO RECKLESS!
Seth Lerch tells a fan or two to shut up as Reckless Jack smirks. Reckless Jack circles around Seth, wanting to start the match but Seth wants none of it. Seth goes out of the ring and yells at a couple of fans but Reckless Jack has decided he has seen enough as he jumps out of the ring with a Somersault Plancha and hits Seth Lerch from behind! Seth's face goes into the guard rail as Reckless Jack starts to stomp away at Seth. Reckless Jack picks up Seth and whips him into another part of the guard rail. Seth goes head first into it as Reckless Jack takes a moment to look under the ring. He pulls out a chair already as the crowd cheers. He puts the chair near a guard rail corner. Reckless Jack smiles as he yells out to the crowd "Here comes some gimmick infringement." He grabs Seth and drags him over to the set up chair. Reckless Jack puts Seth in the chair. Reckless Jack goes to the opposite side as he measures Seth Lerch.
Zach Davis: Can he do this and not get sued?
Shannan Lerch: If he hits it, I hope he does.
Reckless Jack runs and gives Seth a Facewash into the guard rail. The crowd goes nuts as Seth Lerch looks out of it already. Reckless Jack slaps a few hands as he picks Seth back up. Seth is rolled into the ring as Reckless Jack stays on the apron. He springboards into a Leg Drop. Reckless Jack springs back up to his feet. He follows that up with a Standing Moonsault. He keeps the cover.
No, Seth is able to kick out. Reckless Jack shrugs his shoulders as he picks Seth up and whips him into the ropes. Seth comes back and ducks a Clothesline. Then Seth bounces back toward Reckless Jack. However, Seth is met with a Backflip Dropkick. Reckless Jack kips up and poses for the fans as they cheer him. Seth is using the ropes to get up to his feet. Reckless Jack points to his foot as if he wants a Mafia kick the shit out of Seth. However, Seth sees this coming and drops the ropes down. Reckless Jack goes flying out of the ring as Seth catches his breath from the early onslaught of Reckless Jack.
Luscious Jackson: Seth Lerch is catching a break here.
Shannan Lerch: 'Bout damn time.
Reckless Jack is back on his feet already as Seth is shocked. Reckless Jack slides back into the ring. Seth Lerch tries to run from the man he has been antagonizing the past month but to no avail. Reckless Jack is able to catch up with Seth. Reckless Jack pounds Seth in the back a couple of times. Reckless Jack then gives Seth a Straightjacket Suplex. Jack pops up and yells out at the crowd. They cheer back at him. Seth is crawling backwards, trying to keep Reckless Jack away from him. Reckless Jack doesn't stay away though as he drags Seth into the middle of the ring. Reckless Jack grabs Seth's arm and locks in a Cross Armbar. Seth is yelling out in pain as Reckless Jack pulls harder on the move. Seth is able to fight is way to the ropes. Reckless Jack lets go of the hold as Seth goes back to the outside of the ring again. Reckless Jack follows him to the outside.
Zach Davis: Uh, mistake number one on the ref there, this is a Falls Count Anywhere match!
Shannan Lerch: Falls, Zach, falls. As in getting pinned. I saw nothing about a submission being included in that statement.
Zach Davis: Ugh, you are a retard.
Seth Lerch turns around to see Reckless Jack is following him around the ring so Seth starts to run around the ring really fast. Reckless Jack does the same, trying to catch Seth. Seth slides back into the ring as does Reckless Jack. However, while Reckless Jack was getting in the ring, Seth stomps at him. Reckless Jack tries to fight his way to his feet but Seth keeps on stomping away, trying to get whatever advantage he can in this match. Reckless Jack is able to roll to the outside of the ring himself now. Seth stands in the ring as if he won the match. Reckless Jack grabs a chair from ringside and throws it into the ring. Seth nearly gets hit with the chair in the process. Seth grabs it and looks around at the crowd. Reckless Jack jumps on the apron as Seth runs towards him and takes a swing with the chair. Reckless Jack is forced to jump off the apron before the chair can connect. The chair then bounces off the ropes and hits Seth in the face. Reckless Jack jumps back up on the apron as Seth still has the chair in his hands. Reckless springboards into a Dropkick that sends the chair further into the face of Seth Lerch. Seth goes down and rolls onto his stomach as Reckless Jack grabs the chair and sets it up in the open position. Seth is on his knees, bleeding from the forehead now. Reckless Jack picks up Seth up and hooks him in for a Wrist Clutch Exploder.
Luscious Jackson: This could really hurt the head cracka.
Zach Davis: You are right for once Jackson.
Seth has enough wits about him to elbow out of the move. Reckless Jack releases the set up hold to the move as he turns his back to Seth. Seth takes this chance to kick Reckless Jack right in the groin from behind. Reckless Jack goes down and down hard. Seth points to his head as if he is the smartest guy in the world. Seth grabs the chair and shuts it back up and looks to hit Reckless Jack with the chair numerous times. This time, Seth's plan goes through as he hits Reckless quite a few times with the chair, each shot harder then the next. Reckless Jack tries to get away from the chair shots but he just can't. Seth gets tired of swinging chair and drops it to take a rest. Reckless Jack holds his back a tad bit as Seth picks Jack up and Suplexes him to the mat. Seth gets back up to his feet and drops a leg across the face of Reckless Jack now. Seth makes a cover, not hooking the legs.
Reckless Jack gets his shoulder off the mat just in time. Seth stays on him though by getting Jack back to his feet and whipping him into the ropes. Seth lowers his head for a Back Body Drop but Reckless Jack slams on the breaks and kicks Seth in the face. Seth stands back up fully and staggers around. Reckless Jack takes this chance to hit a Step Up Enziguri on Seth. Seth goes down as Reckless Jack leans against the ropes, catching his breath from all the chair shots.
Zach Davis: Reckless Jack is getting a break here.
Shannan Lerch: Boo.
Seth and Reckless meet in the middle of the ring and start to talk trash which is odd at this point in the match. Reckless Jack has his hand up for a punch and oes for it but Seth ducks and clubs his back attempting a German Suplex but Jack ends up grabbing the neck slamming Seth down with a Cutter as he slingshots off the middle rope nailing a Leg Drop going for the cover.
And we have a kick out as Seth is able to get his shoulder off the mat and then gets up, running towards Jack who drops and goes to the outside pointing to his head, talking to Seth. Seth then gets a light bulb as he runs away from Jack, bouncing off the ropes and attempts for a Tope, but Jack is one step ahead of him who jumps on the apron. But Seth is one step ahead of Jack's one step as he slides under Jack's feet and lands on the outside grabbing Jack's feet from behind, dropping them to the floor below as Jack's head meets the apron. Seth takes Jack and starts repeating the head slam right on to the apron as the fans count along with him. He breaks it off at ten and runs charging with a knee to the gut of Jack as he falls to the floor. Seth, seeing this, gives the middle finger to the crowd before charging at Jack who's set up near the steel steps. Seth comes charging and Jack moves at the last second causing Seth to collide with the steel steps.
Luscious Jackson: Seth just found out what the steps are like.
Zach Davis: Yep.
Shannan Lerch: If this dickhead wasn't leaving, I'm quite sure he would be fired by now.
Jack gets up slowly as a trickle of blood goes down his nose as he picks up another steel chair from the timekeeper's table and screams for Seth to get up. Once he does, he attempts to swing it at him...Seth though grabs the chair from Jack, kicking him in the gut and slamming the chair right onto the back of Jack as he starts screaming in pain. Seth shuts him up then by throwing the chair, Sabu style at Jack as a loud THWAP! echoes throughout the stadium. Jack falls to the floor below and Seth goes and picks up Jack, yelling to the fans behind the security wall to move out of the way as a few people do so. Seth then grabs Jack and launches him over the wall as Jack goes flying right into about 10 seated chairs as they go everywhere around as the crowd "ooohs" in their direction as Seth jumps the wall and picks up Jack again, who's busted open a little more now. Seth grabs Jack as they walk towards the back entrance way of the stadium, Seth picking up chairs and throwing them at Jack who misses and ducks a couple but gets leveled with a couple as well as they go inside the back of the stadium where a few fans flock along to.
Zach Davis: This has become an all out brawl.
Shannan Lerch: Uh dur!
They enter the concession area where Seth is just playing games with Jack now, as they enter a small pizza place as the fans are crowded around the two men and the referee. Seth takes Jack's head and bounces it across a standing room only table as he throws him back outside, Jack crawling to get up as Seth moves around the fans, shoving a few out of the way before going back over to Jack, picking him up...but Jack has still some fight left in him as he starts brawling with Seth, punching and kicking, finding a waste basket and throwing it across the head of Seth as the fans around him cheer loudly, Jack picking up Seth as he kicks him in the gut and performs a Armbar DDTs Seth to the concrete floor actually going for the cover as the ref taps the concrete.
Kick out by Seth as Jack stomps on him a couple times before picking him up and throwing him against a wall near an entrance to the stadium as he walks out of the entrance, fans cheering as they see him appear out of nowhere as he taunts to the crowd, but not before a dropkick from behind by Seth sends Jack falling down a couple flights of stairs, before reaching the bottom as Seth goes over and walks down the stairs.
Luscious Jackson: NOT THE PIZZA PLACE! THOSE BASTARDSSSSSS!
Zach Davis: This is a sad day.
Seth meets Jack down at the bottom of the stairs, right where the field is supposed to be at, although it's covered off by fans and chairs now as Jack gets up, a little dazed by the dropkick but still able as he clubs Seth right into the back of the head a couple times before grabbing him and attempting to throw him down into the floor below but knowing Seth's strength, he doesn't budge as he clubs Jack in the neck a few times before trying to throw him off. Seth's attempt is a little better but Jack doesn't go, as he tries his hardest to not get thrown off hitting Seth as the two men start brawling again, Jack grabbing Seth's head and clanging it against the rail as it causes Seth to trickle blood down his face as Jack starts slamming his head on the rail over and over and over again, payback from eariler when Seth slammed Jack's head on the apron as Jack is now angrier than ever as he sets up Seth over the rail as he holds one barely with one arm as Jack steps back a little and sets up his target. Then, with all of his energy, he runs towards Seth and nails the Moment of Impact onto Seth as he falls about 10 ft. into a bunch of chairs that the fans were sitting on as the crowd is chanting along, with their usual banter.
Shannan Lerch: HE CAN'T DO THAT TO MY BROTHER!
Zach Davis: Well, he just did.
Jack goes over the railing and as Seth is laying across two chairs, Jack jumps off and does a double foot stomp to Seth on the chairs as fans chant "W-C-F" over and over again. Both men are down as the fans chant for them to get up. Jack gets up slowly and grabs Seth dragging him along back to the barricade where he throws Seth over the barricade back near the ring as Jack follows him. He picks Seth up and throws him in the ring where he goes to the top rope and taunts the fans as he flips around for The Kill. He nails it, pinning Seth.
NO WAIT! SETH LERCH KICKS OUT! THE MATCH CONTINUES! Jack gets frustated pounding on the mat as he picks up Seth hooking his arms, he's going for the Dead Set. But Seth holds his leg on his own. He won't let Jack hit it as he kicks him in the gut and throws him on his shoulder...CRUCIFIX POWERBOMB! He goes for the cover.
RECKLESS JACK GOT HIS SHOULDER UP! Seth pounds on the mat now as he picks up Jack and throws him to the corner lifting him up on the turnbuckle doing the cut-throat sign. He says it's done and over with. He goes on the top and starts clubbing with Jack as he throws him up for the shoulders. He gets ready to drive down with the Crucifix Powerbomb but Jack somehow gets off his shoulders. He does, getting behind Seth and clubbing his back. He throws him up on his shoulders in a torture rack. RECKLESS KILLING OFF THE TOP ROPE! He drapes an arm around Seth
Zach Davis: HE DID IT!
Shannan Lerch: This was more rigged then the election in Florida back in 2000.
Luscious Jackson: Pfffft cracka woman.
Reckless Jack rolls off of Seth Lerch, breathing hard. Reckless Jack looks out at the crowd that is cheering for him. He nods in appreciation. By this time, Seth Lerch is on his knees, holding his neck after getting dropped on his head. Reckless Jack stands over him, looking down. Seth kinda backs up but Reckless Jack extends his hand. Seth reluctantly takes the hand and is brought up to a stand position. Reckless Jack doesn't let go as Seth is trying to get out of it. Soon after, Reckless Jack begins moving his hand up and down, shaking it. Seth realizes this and starts to shake himself. After this the two men let go. Reckless Jack gets a microphone from ringside. He looks at the fans with a tear in his eye, quite a touching moment.
Reckless Jack: I am gonna keep this simple.
Reckless Jack looks around.
Reckless Jack: Good-bye.
Reckless Jack drops the microphone and leaves the ring. He slaps a few hands along his way up the ramp and once at the top of the stage. He turns around and looks at the WCF fans one last time before heading backstage.
Zach Davis: Well, there you have it. One great performer leaves.
Shannan Lerch: If by great you mean horrible, then by all means.
Luscious Jackson: If I can be serious for a moment, let's just move on with the show.
Jesper's Jibba Jabba With P.C. Cradle
‘Cell Block Tango (He Had It Comin’)’ by the cast of ‘Chicago’ hits the sound system as the cameras pan wildly to find out if this is the debut of a new talent at the biggest plateau possible. It isn’t as the crowd finds out relatively quickly as the cameras pan to the top of the arena where Jesper Reisert attached to a skyline gives the thumbs up as if to tell them he is coming down. However, as he goes to propel himself down to the ground, it seems that the original zipliner of a six-foot-four black man with a shaven scalp has been replaced by a five-foot-nine Caucasian with flowing locks of hair. As the camera catches some impressive glimpses of the zipliner’s fall to grace, it occasionally switches to captures of the crowd where the aforementioned six-foot-four black man is forcibly attempting to make his way to the ground floor by pushing past the human masses. As the zipline finishes its trail and lands the trained stunt actor onto the ramp, he is quickly pulled inside the curtain before Jesper Reisert re-enters, out of breath and waving at the crowd.
Shannan Lerch: Oh God! Are we actually doing this?
Zach Davis: Well, it was announced, ‘Jesper’s Jibba-Jabba’ with special guest, PC Cradle. And look at the ring!
The camera does indeed cut to the ring where it is dressed and prepared for the segment with all the levity and panache of David Koresh on acid. Palm trees, an actual hula girl complete with coconut bikini, and a drinks bar are just some of the tat that litters the squared circle. The crowd responds to Jesper with mixed emotions some enjoying his bizarre adventures others judging him through association with his employer. Jesper, however, can only hear the cheers as he makes his way to the ring, slapping a few hands, pointing at a few fans and kissing some babies. Eventually, he does enter his take on the ring and is given a microphone and a necklace of petals by the hula girl.
Jesper Reisert: Hola! And welcome to the first ever episode of ‘Jesper Jibba-Jabba’ where we will be interviewing none other than PC Cradle. So, everyone get here ok? I flew in and boy, do my arms hurt. I said my arms hurt!
Luscious Jackson: This guy was in the International Posse?
Zach Davis: The catering department.
Jesper removes some cards from his pocket and begins reading from them.
Jesper Reisert: Why did the turkey cross the road? To prove he wasn’t a chicken. Wait I don’t get that because other jokes say chickens cross roads so he’d be a chicken. That sucks, let’s try another. Knock knock. You’re supposed to say ‘who’s there?’
The crowd complies.
Jesper Reisert: Hitler.
The crowd asks ‘Hitler who?’
Jesper Reisert: Because he’d been taking my food all day! Oh, I’ve skipped a joke. Hold on.
The crowd boos madly wanting something more interesting than Jesper’s attempts at comedy. Jesper complies with lifting his hands in the air, admitting fault.
Jesper Reisert: Look, I know. I know. You want to see PC Cradle, dontcha? Well, just so you know me and PC Cradle go back way far. Even before I was in the WCF with Jack! I couldn’t believe it when I got told that ‘PC Cradle was a world champion’ but I guess dreams do come true. So let’s get him out.
Jesper points to the ramp, which cues the entrance. Get to the Gone by Static-X begins to play and PC Cradle’s video begins to play. Is it possible that Jesper has not managed to mess this up? No, as a middle-aged stroppy woman moves down the ramp and into the ring to a chorus of heavy boos.
Jesper Reisert: PC Cradle, everyone!
The crowd boos as surprisingly, ‘PC Cradle’ and Jesper hug in the middle of the ring. Jesper hands her a microphone as she begins to speak.
P.C. Cradle: Well. Hi. I am Police Constable Judie Cradle of Los Angeles Metropolitan Unit. I was kind of surprised when I heard a bunch of wrestling fans wanted to pay to see me but whatever. I double-checked and it’s not illegal so I thought why not come and see my old-friend Jesper. Because, yeah I do know him. I was his arresting officer at that time with the drainplug and the school-load of children and the –
P.C. Cradle/Jesper Reisert: Columbian heroin!
They both chuckle at their reminiscing much to the chagrin of the crowd. Jesper takes the microphone back and begins the interview.
Jesper Reisert: So, tell me, Judie, when did you become World Champion?
P.C. Cradle: Oh, um, never. But I do arrange the annual ‘Easter Egg Hunt for the children of my unit.
A quick realization hits Jesper that there must be two ‘PC Cradles.’ Angrily, he punctures his inflatable stereo before turning back to P.C. Cradle.
Jesper Reisert: So you mean that you were never a World Champion? Ah, damn it!
The crowd boos at this charade before the cameraman gets a close-up of the hula girl looks slightly worried about what’s happening. Jesper moves to her
Jesper Reisert: Did I say stop dancing? Keep dancing!
The hula dancer makes a pitiful effort to appease Jesper while he seems to be losing whatever shred of normalcy he had left.
Jesper Reisert: I’m sick of this! I try and entertrain you people and all I ever get is boos. Boos! Well, I’m sick of it. And I know whose fault this all is. Sweet Willy Carter!
Shannan Lerch: Who?
Zach Davis: The manager of Alliance of Violence.
Shannan Lerch: Who?
Jesper Reisert: I try and come here and fill a quiche in the market and then wait a couple of weeks and we have cheap intimidation! Well, I’m not gonna take it anymore. I’m gonna call Jesse and we gonna rally on yo’ ass!
Jesper comes to the quick revelation that Sweet Willy Carter is black.
Jesper Reisert: Well, maybe not march but I’m gonna make your life like mine was before I met the wonderful world of ‘Segway’: dazed and confused! And I’m keeping the plastic pine tree!
Jesper lifts the rubber foliage from its position while throwing the microphone which P.C. Cradle dutifully catches. He pulls the plant from the ring and up the ramp while his music plays. Leaving her behind in a huff, P.C. Cradle, out of her most fitting environment, shyly brings the microphone up to speak.
P.C. Cradle: Does anyone have any change for cab fare?
Hardcore Title Extreme Hell in a Cell Match
Danny Vice vs Skyler Striker
Shannan Lerch: And now for what is sure to be an absolute killer of a match – and I mean killer – we have the Vice/Striker Extreme Hell in a Cell Hardcore Title match!
Zach Davis: We’ve got our highlight video here ready to go – right from the start of this rivalry.
“Rookie” by Boy Sets Fire plays on the One screen as ‘Skyler Striker and Danny Vice – A Legacy’ rolls across the screen before clips start playing.
The clip shows Skyler’s first victory in the WCF against Kuroi in his debut, and then Vice putting Striker through the announce table with the Halo. Skyler’s revenge attack costing Danny a match against Chino is also showed. The next clip shows the end to the beginning stages of the rivalry at Ultimate Showdown as Skyler wins after interference from the Vice family and Danny’s chair shot.
The next set of clips shows the week after Ultimate Showdown and the no contest after Skyler put Vice through an announce table with the Destiny Dive and both men could not compete. Danny’s attack on Skyler after the match with Shane Sires shows, as well as Jack of Blades’ first interference in the rivalry in the tag match. The chapter of clips end with Skyler’s victory at the School of Pain ladder match.
The clips ignore the next few weeks but come in again at Hellimination, at the Hellimination match where Skyler eliminates Danny to win the match for his team and the two’s consequent ‘alliance’. Both men’s victories at Revenge are shown, Vice holding his Tag Title high and Skyler his Hardcore Title. Skyler and Thunder are then shown with the Tag Titles after winning them from DbD two weeks after.
One scene comes up for the finish.
Danny Vice: Shut up. Biggs and the Vagrant – Disorder by Design – are here because we were robbed of our titles last week and we wanted payback. Skyler Striker and Thunder have felt the pain we should have dealt to them last week. The other reason that the Vagrant saw fit to interfere here was that the Hardcore Title is on the line, and when the inevitable would have happened and Thunder come out victorious, the Vagrant’s match with Striker at One would not have been for the Hardcore Title. If the Vagrant beats Striker – sorry, WHEN the Vagrant beats Striker at One, he may as well get something out of it besides the satisfaction of having finally eliminated Skyler Striker.
The crowd boo all the more and Vice waits for them to quiet their chants and profanities.
Danny Vice: So, Striker, remember that we have a match at One. A Hell in a Cell match. The Vagrant has made a few changes to that match courtesy of Seth Lerch. Hell in a Cell is all well and good, but that’s the equivalent of a more hardcore singles match. So what is a more hardcore equivalent of a hardcore match? An Extreme Hell in a Cell match. Same structure as Hell in a Cell, but with weapons hanging from the walls. Like this chair here.
Vice lifts the chair Thunder used earlier and spins it around, looking at it thoroughly before nailing Striker right in the head with it on the ground.
Danny Vice: Make sure you’re fully recovered by One, Striker. The Vagrant would hate for you to have an excuse as to why he destroys you in the Extreme Hell of One.
‘Rookie’ by Boy Sets Fire hits and Vice and Biggs leave the ring, heading up the entrance ramp and laughing. They reach the top and turn around to survey their carnage, but Striker is standing at the ropes, bleeding, grinning at Vice and holding up his index finger to say ‘One’. Striker’s pain, however, is too great and he collapses to the mat unconscious. The clip ends.
The unfamiliar sound of “Faint” by Linkin Park hits the speakers as the lights of the arena go out.
Zach Davis: Something a little new here.
Shannan Lerch: I don’t know what’s going on with this.
After several seconds, two spotlights hit the top of the ramp, where a figure dressed in long black tights and a long black leather jacket stands. His head down with long black hair blocking his face. He slowy lifts his head, showing a face painted white and two cold eyes staring toward the ring. He spins around once, revealing the words “VAGRANT” and “VICE” in blue down his pantlegs.
Shannan Lerch: It’s Danny Vice! With a completely new look!
Zach Davis: Danny Vice said he was going to change, no one quite knew that he meant like this.
Luscious Jackson: Damn! The boy got a haircut and some new digs!
He walks to the ring with a dead stare, not even looking up to see the diabolical structure hanging from the rafters. He slides under the bottom rope and walks across the ring to the turnbuckle, where he lifts a single fist in the air as a “V” pyro hits behind him.
Zach Davis: Well there is our challenger, now for the champion.
The crowd cheers like crazy as a small stage rises from the top of the set at the stage. Standing onstage, instruments in hand, are James Hetfield, Lars Ulrich, Kirk Hammett and Robert Trujillo – Metallica. Hetfield has a mic and the crowd quiets as he speaks.
James Hetfield: By request of Skyler Striker.
A bell rings in the distance as the band launch into “For Whom The Bell Tolls”. The lights dim as per usual and Hetfield powers out over the microphone the lyrics as Skyler Striker enters the stage of One, Hardcore Championship around his waist, blue lights flashing around him. Vice is staring in incredulity at Striker, who the crowd is cheering for like nothing ever heard before. Striker soaks it in and goes to walk, but hesitates, glances up at Metallica, and disappears back into the stage, before appearing a few seconds later up with the band in time to sing the first chorus.
For whom the bell tolls
Time marches on!
For whom the bell tolls...
Skyler points to the band and the crowd cheer even more as Skyler heads back down onto the stage. He walks down to the ring, the crowd cheering and guitars playing to massive effect, and Skyler slides into the ring, face to face with Vice, neither man saying a word as the song finishes. Skyler steps back and the cell begins to lower.
Shannan Lerch: Quite an entrance there.
Zach Davis: Woo! Metallica!
Shannan Lerch: Since when have you had enough balls to listen to Metallica?
Zach Davis: Who cares? Look at that cell! it’s got everything hanging from the walls... ladders, tables, chairs, hammers, trash can lids, signs, fire extinguishers...
Luscious Jackson: Who?
Shannan Lerch: Sit back and enjoy if you can. This is going to be violent.
The cage lowers completely and both men survey the cage as the referee takes Skyler’s Hardcore title and raises it high in the air.
The bell rings and there is no locking up. Both men instantly unleash their fury and release a clothesline at the either, both men taking the other out. They get to their feet at the same time and stand back from each other, glaring directly into the other’s eyes. Striker is the first to act and rushes at Vice, but Vice hits a drop toehold on Striker and quickly follows up by grabbing Striker and whipping him over the top rope of the ring. Striker crashes to the outside floor and Vice slides out, grabbing Striker again and throwing him into a chair hanging on the cell wall. The chair dents and falls off its slot and Vice grabs it, bringing it down hard on Striker’s back. Striker yells in pain and Vice brings it down again and again, Striker shuddering under the impact of each blow. Vice finally throws the chair into the ring and grabs Striker in a camel clutch, and he holds it in place while the referee asks Skyler if he will give up. Striker violently shakes his head and grabs a hold of the cell wall and the corner post with whatever grip he can, slowly lifting himself upwards, as if climbing up the wall and ring post. Eventually he throws Vice off his back and drops to one knee, looking to his right for a weapon on the wall. Striker finds a steel tray and turns around, smashing Vice in the head with it as Vice tries to stand up. Vice collapses to the floor and Striker pants, regaining his breath before rolling into the ring.
Zach Davis: It’s not called an Extreme Hell for nothing!
Shannan Lerch: These men will fight until they die.
Luscious Jackson: Tha be tight to watch.
Vice slowly stands and Striker hits the ropes, coming back and baseball sliding Vice through the ropes, driving Vice into the cell wall, the steel mesh holding firm against Vice’s back. Striker then looks around, knowing he has a little time before Vice regains his balance. Striker sees a ladder on the side of the cell and slides out to grab it, throwing it into the ring and following it inside. He tries to set it up but Vice surprises him from behind by grabbing the chair thrown into the ring earlier and smashing it against Striker’s back. Striker grabs his back but drops to the mat, avoiding the second shot from Vice, and Vice’s chair hits the ladder hard, the shock reverberating into Vice and causing him to drop the chair. Striker stands and grabs Vice by the arms, and spins himself horizontally before drilling Vice with the Last Card right onto the ladder! Striker quickly rolls Vice off the ladder and goes for a pin.
Shannan Lerch: Go Danny! We haven’t even started yet.
Zach Davis: A two count so early can’t be good.
Striker gets to his feet and grabs the ladder, driving its’ head into Vice’s stomach before setting it up right over Danny. Striker climbs the ladder but spots the chain at the top holding the two pieces of steel mesh guarding the top of the structure together. Striker jumps to the mat and locates a hammer on the wall, grabbing it and climbing the ladder once again. Striker makes it to the top but never gets to use the hammer as Vice grabs the ladder from underneath. However, instead of tilting it sideways to throw Striker off, Vice grabs the ladder and uses all his strength to push it upwards towards the roof, driving Striker’s head into the cell roof! Vice strength does not last long, however, and Vice and Striker drop to the mat along with the ladder, which falls on top of both of them. the falling hammer misses Striker’s head by mere centimeters and bounces into the corner of the ring. Both men are groggy but see that the hammer is the key to gaining advantage here and start crawling toward it.
Shannan Lerch: Who’ll get it? Crawl faster, Danny!
Zach Davis: They’re dragging the ladder along with them!
The ladder is indeed being dragged along with the two men, and they draw ever closer to the hammer. The first man to reach the hammer is Vice, who grabs it and gets a tight grip on the handle just below the head, and he drives the hammer into Striker’s forehead, busting him open. The blood runs heavy down Striker’s head and drops onto the mat, staining it red.
Zach Davis: There we go. I knew we’d see blood before too long.
Shannan Lerch: It’s a hardcore match, Zach. Get used to it.
Vice sees the blood and rams the hammer into Striker’s head again and throwing it back to the mat, going for a cover on Striker.
Striker gets his hand on the rope and Vice kicks his hand off before pulling Striker to his feet. Vice throws a punch at Striker and hits the ropes, coming back with a second rope diving spear which drives Striker through the ropes and to the outside of the ring, where he hits the cell and floor with a large thump. Vice crawls through after him and grabs Striker’s leg, ramming it into the side of the cell twice. Striker groans in pain and Vice rubs his forearm against Striker’s bleeding forehead before picking up Striker’s leg and dragging him towards the steel steps. At the steps, Vice lays Striker’s leg on it and grabs a steel chair off the cell wall before ascending the turnbuckle near it. Vice jumps into the air and uses the chair as a skateboard, landing directly on Striker’s leg and effectively crushing it between the chair and the steel steps. Striker yells in pain as his leg falls off the steps but Vice, too, is in pain on the floor, his chair having tilted and caused him to hit his head on the steel cell and grind against the mesh to open him up too.
Zach Davis: And the second one.
Shannan Lerch: It’s a fight, Vice, not a bloody skateboarding contest! Why did you do that?
Luscious Jackson: Fools are goin crazy in that thang!
Striker actually manages to crawl to his knees first and drags himself into the ring as Vice begins getting to his knees. Striker notices the ladder and with great effort, sets it up again, grabbing the hammer once again and climbing the ladder one step at a time, very slowly, as Vice starts crawling into the ring, panting for breath. Striker finally reaches the top and smashes the hammer against the chain, breaking it and grabbing the chain with his hands, wrapping it around one fist but dropping the hammer. Striker then grabs the steel panel that opens and yanks it down off its hinges as Vice makes it to his feet. Striker grins maniacally and jumps into the air, diving headfirst and holding the steel panel in front of him, nailing Vice square in the head, and both men fall to the mat in a complete mess. The ladder, hammer, steel panel and Vice and Striker themselves litter the ring along with two steel chairs. Striker raises his arm and brings it down across Vice, pinning him underneath the cell panel and the ref begins his count.
Vice kicks out and Striker is in almost total disbelief. Nevertheless, Striker throws the cell panel away and as Vice gets to his feet, Striker turns to him, steel chain wrapped around his fist and slams Vice in the forehead, blood now draining heavily out of it.
Zach Davis: Ouch.
Shannan Lerch: Come on! That was supposed to hold their structure together, he can’t use it!
Zach Davis: It’s all legal.
Striker sees the ladder still in place and laughs wildly again, picking Vice up and throwing him onto the ladder. Vice instinctively feels the ladder and begins climbing. Striker pulls him up from the other side of the ladder and as they reach the top few steps, Striker smashes Vice in the head again with the chain and with great effort, pushes Vice up through the open roof and onto the adjacent steel panel before jumping off the ladder himself and setting up the fallen roof segment below the gap. Striker climbs the ladder again and begins trying to rip off the steel panel that Vice rests on.
Zach Davis: He’s going to try and tilt it so that Vice falls on the steel panel in the middle of the ring! That’s a twenty foot drop, minimum!
Shannan Lerch: It’s innovative, I’ll give him that, but surely it’s illegal!
Striker continues trying but suddenly he receives a massive blow from the steel panel falling onto him. Vice, standing on the cell roof, has removed the panel himself and has driven it flat onto Skyler’s head. The panel falls on top of the other one in the ring and Striker, dazed, tries to go up the ladder even further to reach Vice. Vice, however, smiles weakly at Striker before spinning around and delivering an Outcast superkick to Striker’s head! Striker, now completely out of it, drops to the mat and lands spine first on top of both roof pieces!
Zach Davis: Oh my God! That’s not a light move by any means! A superkick and a twenty foot fall onto solid steel mesh!
Shannan Lerch: That’s my boy, Vice! Finish him!
Vice, however, does not climb down the ladder. He simply jumps through the gap and goes for a splash on Striker, but Striker rolls over in pain, not even noticing Vice, and Vice lands stomach first on the steel panels as well, his forehead clipping the side of Striker’s forehead and their blood mixing together.
Zach Davis: Two worst enemies’ blood mixing. How ironically symbolic.
Shannan Lerch: And clichéd.
Vice’s hand has landed across Striker’s midsection, however, and the ref counts.
Not only has Striker kicked out, but Vice has also kicked out, thinking that somehow he was being pinned, and moving his hand off of Striker. These two men are running more on memory and delusion than conscious effort at this point. Striker is the first to his feet and delivers a right hand to Vice, who staggers backward. Striker follows up by clotheslining Vice over the top rope to the floor outside.
Zach Davis: Danny just smacked his entire body on the outside of the ring right there. He didn’t even try to break his fall.
Shannan Lerch: By the looks of things, I don’t know if he realized he was falling. He looks entirely out of it.
Striker grabs one of the chairs inside of the ring and folds it up to use as a weapon. He walks towards the side of the ring where Vice lies outside and begins to step through the ropes. Suddenly, he stops himself, and begins laughing as he re-enters the ring. Striker climbs up the nearest turnbuckle, still with the steel chair in hand, and still laughing.
Shannan Lerch: What does he think he’s doing? And what could be so funny?
Zach Davis: That isn’t the laugh of a man joking, it’s what this demonic cage does to a human being. It transforms them right in front of our very eyes.
Striker leaps off the turnbuckle performing a perfect 630 Senton, the Skyler High Dive. Right before impact he places the chair between himself and Danny Vice, crushing Vice’s ribcage.
Crowd: Holy shit! Holy shit! Holy shit! Holy shit!
Zach Davis: Oh my god! Vice is broken in half!
Shannan Lerch: That was the most devastating thing ever done to either man. Striker himself doesn’t look like he’s breathing.
Luscious Jackson: No doubt! No doubt!
Striker pulls himself over, holding his own back in pain from his high-risk, high-reward maneuver. He covers Vice with a body press.
NO! Vice kicks out again!
Striker is stunned. He looks up in disbelief, before pulling Vice by the hair and slamming him face first into the cell wall. He presses the face of Vice into the steel grating of the wall while gouging at Vice’s eyes. The referee tries to break the hold, but Striker refuses. Blood begins to stain the chain fencing of the cell wall, as Striker yells with fury. The referee tries pulling Striker off, but he tosses the referee aside, who smacks his head against the steel steps.
Luscious Jackson: They shouldn't treat officials dat way!
The parents of the children in the front row cover the young eyes, as women scream at the picture. Vice tries desperately to pull Striker off him, and finally is able to break the hold by pulling Striker’s hands from his face. Striker retaliates with a knee to the kidney of Vice.
Zach Davis: Hardcore title or not, this is beyond gruesome. Nobody, man, woman, child, or even a beast, should be put through this.
Shannan Lerch: I’m speechless.
Luscious Jackson: Thank god!
Zach Davis: I was about to say that.
Striker pulls Vice off the ground and tosses him back into the ring. He goes into the ring and clears out the two pieces of the cell ceiling, shoving them outside of the ring. He grabs the remaining chair and sets it in the center of the ring, then lifts Vice to his feet.
Zach Davis: Vice looks unconscious from the blood loss tonight. It’s like he isn’t even there.
Striker sets Vice up for Final Revelation, but Vice elbows Striker in the head. He elbows Striker again in the head, trying to escape Striker’s grasp, but Striker fights back with two sharp right hands, then hit’s the backflip uranage slam, smashing the back of Vice across the seat of the chair. The chair snaps in half from the force against it’s hinges. Striker covers Vice, but the referee is still down outside of the ring from when Striker tossed him aside moments ago.
Shannan Lerch: 1! 2! 3! Striker should retain.
Luscious Jackson: Wha?
Zach Davis: Cheering for Striker now?
Shannan Lerch: Well he is clearly the winner.
Zach Davis: Surprise. Surprise.
Striker rolls out of the ring and awakens the referee, who slowly climbs back inside. Striker lifts the ring apron and pulls out a table from underneath.
Zach Davis: Planning on giving Vice a taste of his own medicine. Seems a little proper for a momentous occasion like One.
Shannan Lerch: How many objects are these two men going to hit each other with? It’s getting ridiculous!
Luscious Jackson: Ain’t never too many weapons. Never!
Striker sets the table up beneath the hole in the ceiling of the cell. He pulls Vice to his feet and tries to place him atop the table. Vice counters with a quick kick to the stomach out of nowhere, and hits Rejection.
Zach Davis: My god! Vice was playing possum. He was ready for Striker and just drilled him. Striker never saw it coming and is out on the mat.
Shannan Lerch: Finish it Danny! Finish it!
Zach Davis: Wow, back that quickly, eh?
Vice kips up and seems to be building momentum. He rolls the lifeless Striker on top of the table and begins climbing the nearest cell wall. Slowly, he begins to pull himself on top of the cage. Once on top, he measures his leap and takes a few steps back.
Zach Davis: This could be it! Send his longtime rival through the table and it once and for all!
Shannan Lerch: Why is he taking so long?
Vice begins to run toward the opening in the cell and stops. It seems he has had a change of heart, and begins to climb back down. Unexpectedly, the crowd begins to change.
Crowd: Dan-ny! Dan-ny! Dan-ny! Dan-ny!
Shannan Lerch: What?
Luscious Jackson: What?
Zach Davis: This capacity crowd seems to be behind Vice here tonight. You have to respect what both men have done here. Both willing to lay it all on the line at One.
Vice stops his descent, noticing the crowds cheers. He climbs himself back up to the top of the cage and receives a roar for his effort. He takes a few steps back, then runs and leaps through the hole in the cell, driving Striker and himself through the table with a Halo.
Shannan Lerch: I can’t watch!
Zach Davis: Mother of God! Vice just took a second dive off the top of the cell and this time connected! This is an Extreme Hell in a Cell. Nothing too high! Nothing too tall! Nothing too hard! Just WCF gold!
Both men are barely moving in the ring after that cataclysmic maneuver. Slowly, steadily, Vice stands up and signals that he's ready to end it. He grabs Striker and goes for the Vicelock!
Luscious Jackson: Dis is it!
Striker sees it coming, and immediately starts punching and kicking at Vice, doing anything he can not to get put into that move. He kicks Vice away and into a guardrail. Striker then begins crawling slowly back into the ring. Vice lets him get inside, then rolls in after him. The Vagrant waits as Striker slowly gets to his feet...
Shannan Lerch: Vice just needs to hit one big move and the match and Hardcore Title is his!
Danny Vice hushes the crowd.
Zach Davis: He's gonna hit The Outkast!
Danny runs, hitting the Spinning Superkick, but somehow Vice is able to duck it! Vice turns around, Striker pulls his legs out from under him and locks in the Lockdown!
Luscious Jackson: He's got it in! The Lockdown!
Shannan Lerch: Is Danny Vice going to tap out!?
Vice screams in pain, having already gone through hell in this match, and the Lockdown being a painful move to begin with. He raises his hand, as if to tap...
Zach Davis: Come on, Vice! Don't let him break your legs! Give up! For your family!
No! Vice clutches his fist, refusing to give up. In response, Striker yells out and cranks on the move more. Vice again lets out a pained scream, closing his eyes. His arm goes down, his body goes limp.
Luscious Jackson: I... I think Danny Vice has passed out!
The ref goes to check...... and seconds later, signals for the bell.
Zach Davis: That’s it! Skyler Striker has done it! Vice and Striker is no more! Just Skyler Striker, the WCF Hardcore Champion.
Shannan Lerch: Incredible. That was just beyond words.
Zach Davis: So much fury, aggression, pain, suffering, and respect between these two men. This meant so much to them that The Vagrant wouldn’t even submit. It took Danny ’s body shutting down before Striker could win. Vice would never be known as the one who quit, there’s just too much at stake when Vice and Striker meet in a WCF ring.
The cage begins rising, and Striker releases the hold, collapsing to the mat, breathing heavily. For Whom The Bell Tolls plays. Striker slowly makes his way to his feet, and the ref raises his arm in the air.
Luscious Jackson: These two have had the most memorable feud I've ever seen, probably. What an epic story between these two men.
Striker is handed the Hardcore Title, which he holds close to himself before dropping down and rolling out of the ring. EMTs are tending to Danny Vice, who is absolutely unconscious. Striker heads to the back.
World Title Match
Jack of Blades vs Logan
Zach Davis: And it all comes down to this.
Shannan Lerch: The main event of the evening.
Luscious Jackson: Possibly the biggest match WCF has eva seen.
Zach Davis: For the WCF World Title... Logan and Jack of Blades.
Das Duell by Ennio Morricone plays. There's a short blackout before the arena is enveloped in bright crimson light. A solitary spotlight focuses on Jack of Blades through the blackout and then leaves when it turns red. The opening image of Jack is him kneeling cradling his face. When the whistling begins in his theme music he moves his hands back and slicks his hair revealing an insane grin of ecstasy. He walks to the ring muttering things to himself but in a very controlled manner. At the ring, he turns right and slides in. When in, he runs diagonal to the turnbuckle. He jumps onto the second rope and remains static before spinning off and running back towards the camera and mounting himself on the ropes. He then proceeds to run the opposite diagonal direction (so his movements have created a 'V') and jumps on the turnbuckle. This time he reveals a red rose from his trenchcoat pocket raises it up beyond his head before catching it in his other and crushing it. The entrance ends with Jack still on the turnbuckle while rose petals fall in front of him.
Shannan Lerch: A magnificent entrance, to be sure.
Luscious Jackson: And if there is one man who ain't gonna be intimidated by an entrance...
The lights dim in the arena, blue pryo shoots down the ramp, and a drum beat rolls into the PA speakers. Metallica's "The Struggle Within" blasts.
Zach Davis: The four time WCF World Champion... Logan.
Logan steps out from behind the black curtain with a cocky look on his face. He walks down to the ring, spitting at the fans every now and then, telling them to shut up. Once he's by the ring, he climbs the steps, stepping into the ring through the middles ropes and climbing the turnbuckle to throw both arms into the air for a booing crowd. Logan hops off the turnbuckle, pacing around the ring until his music cuts.
Shannan Lerch: I have goosebumps. I want to see these men tear each other apart.
The ring announcer is standing in the middle of the ring.
Ring Announcer: Standing to my right, he is a man that has emerged as this era's most brutal competitor. He has defeated any opponent put into his path and been a member of the elitist group of wrestlers to grace a WCF ring. He has won every Title he set out to capture, including the Television, Hardcore, and Tag Team Titles. He is the WCF Wrestler of the Year. He is Jack of Blades.
The crowd boos, of course, mostly. Some cheering here and there.. but every person in the arena is making noise.
Ring Announcer: And standing to my left..
The booing continues.
Ring Announcer: He is thought of as many as THE WCF Icon. He's been with the company from the beginning, and has been called EVERY era's most brutal competitor. Not only brutal, but ruthless, cunning, and talented. He is the only two time War winner in WCF history. He's not only been a member of, but has LEAD the elitist group of wrestlers to grace a WCF ring, a group named after him, the Team of Treachery. He is a two time Tag Team Champion. A former International Champion, a two time United States Champion, a former Television Champion, and a FOUR time WCF World Champion. This man is the Face of Treachery.. Logan!
The crowd boos almost louder than before, but once again, of course, there are some mixed cheers. Logan turns to the crowd, yelling at them to SHUT UP. Some of them yell back, and some of them eat it up. Logan turns to Blades. The bell rings.
Luscious Jackson: The match has begun.
Logan and Jack of Blades approach each other in the center of the ring.
Zach Davis: Who is going to be the man to make the first act of aggression?
The two men shake hands. The crowd hates it, wanting to see action, and they let both men know it.
Shannan Lerch: Damn it! Come on! Fight!
Logan and Blades don't give a damn what the fans do, and after the handshake back up, taking their time. Slowly they approach again, both men very cautious of one another. Eventually, they tie up.
Luscious Jackson: That's more like it!
And come to a stalemate. No one is able to gain control of the other, and they break it.
Zach Davis: These two are very equally matched, in my opinion.
They approach again, and again tie up. This time, Logan is able to get the upper hand, but Blades backs himself into the corner. The ref calls for a clean break... and Logan obliges.
Shannan Lerch: That's a change of pace for a man who calls himself the Face of Treachery.
Logan backs up, and Blades gets himself out of the corner. Now, Logan calls for a test of strength. The two men hook hands, and begin the power struggle. At first, Logan is pushing Blades down.. crowd booing.. but soon, Blades summons the strength to power himself up, and the two men are equal again. And soon after that, Logan is the one being pushed down, Jack of Blades with the advantage. Logan is unable to power himself back up, and soon tears his hands away from Jack, rolling across the ring several feet away and getting to his feet. He doesn't look happy.
Luscious Jackson: I don't think Logan appreciates being shown up like that.
Logan is yelling a bit at Blades, but Blades simply shrugs him off. This seems to light a fire, and Logan stomps over to Jack and initiates yet another tieup.
Zach Davis: This is how they started the match, let's see how it goes now.
Logan pushes Blades into the corner. Again, the ref calls for a break. Again, Logan obliges... until he slaps Jack right across the face. The crowd lets out a collective "OOOOHHHHH."
Shannan Lerch: How is Blades going to react!?
Jack of Blades turns the other cheek.
Luscious Jackson: AW SHI-.. wait, what?
This seems to infuriate Logan even more. Again, the Face of Treachery slaps Jack of Blades hard across the face, and again the crowd "OOOOOOH"'s.
Zach Davis: That had even more power than the last slap!
...And again, Jack of Blades turns the other cheek.
Shannan Lerch: I don't understand. Why is Jack taking this?
This puts Logan over the edge, and he fires with a knife edge chop. And another, and another. He chops away at Blades, who takes each one. He doesn't fight back. Logan goes and goes and goes with the chops, Jack's chest is a firey red. Soon Logan tires of the chops, and steps back. Jack of Blades stands and steadies himself. Logan, still, is furious.
Luscious Jackson: This match started friendly, but Logan is completely beside himself here.
"FIGHT!" Logan yells right in Jack's face. "FIGHT! FIGHT! FIGHT!" Logan hits a forearm to Jack's head. Jack stumbles back, shakes it off, stands back up straight. Logan hits another forearm shot, stiffer this time. Again, Blades stumbles back, shakes it off, stands up straight. Logan goes over to a corner and grabs a microphone before storming straight at Blades, one inch from his face.
Logan: FIGHT, DAMN YOU!
Logan throws down the microphone and sends another forearm Jack's way.
Zach Davis: When is Jack going to-
Jack of Blades blocks the forearm, and the crowd absolutely roars. In a single, fluid motion, Jack executes a brutal Chokeslam Uranage! The crowd EXPLODES, every fan is on their feet.
Shannan Lerch: The Trading Places!
Luscious Jackson: I'm gonna make a bet that that move wasn't a coincidence.
Jack of Blades seems to have been unleashed. He stomps away at Logan's body now, over and over and over, mercilessly. But not blindly. Logan tries his best to roll away, but Blades keeps on the attack, kicking and kicking, stomping and stomping. Logan makes it to the ropes and uses them to pull himself up, even against Jack's onslaught.
Zach Davis: This is the Jack of Blades we know... and he has Logan entirely off his game.
Shannan Lerch: This is a man known for mindgames, and quite frankly I didn't think he'd be able to get into Logan's head. Hell, I didn't think he'd even try it. But he has.
Blades throws Logan to the other side of the ring. Logan bounces off the ropes and comes back with a Clothesline, which Blades ducks and then fires off with a big German Suplex! Blades is to his feet immediately, and Logan stumbles up. He looks up at Blades, and quickly rolls out of the ring. Much booing.
Luscious Jackson: This is what Logan needs to do. He needs to calm himself down a bit and get back into the game here.
Logan begins pacing around the outside of the ring, with the fans cursing at him. Blades wastes no time, and immediately heads out after him. Logan is no fool, and realizes Blades is coming. Logan quickly turns around, catching Jack off guard, grabs his head and slams it straight into the ring steps.
Zach Davis: OUCH. Those steps are painful. Especially when you have your head slammed into them.
Shannan Lerch: Duh, Zach. Duh.
Logan has the look of a man who has been thrown into a small cage with a lion. Not quite desperate, and not quite sane. With Blades dazed, Logan starts kicking at his legs. He kicks with surgical precision, hard, stiff kicks, and soon Blades is on his knees. Logan steps back a few paces, and then full on runs, and goes to kick Jack's head off.
Luscious Jackson: There he goes-
But Blades is able to duck in the nick of time, sending Logan's leg over the ring steps first, and Logan's body crashing over them second. He drops with a thud to the ground. Blades slowly gets to his feet, trying his best to get his legs strong again. Logan has begun to get up as Blades approaches him, and Logan hits several shots to Jack's gut. The two men are both to their feet, and begin hitting each other with forearms to their heads. Soon Logan gains the upper hand and rolls Jack back into the ring.
Zach Davis: At this moment in time, we can safely say the friendship is out the window. Hell, these are the Tag Champions here. I don't know how they'll be after this match, but for now, they are nothing but competitors.
Shannan Lerch: I'd say they are nothing but animals anymore, Zach. Running on survival instincts.
Logan slides into the ring as well, and Jack is working his way back to his feet. Logan uses this opportunity to again begin hitting stiff kicks to his legs. Blades is able to keep himself up by using the ropes as support, but soon Logan grabs him from behind and fires off with a German Suplex of his own!
Luscious Jackson: Dizzamn! Folded Blades up like an accordian.
Logan keeps his version of the move bridged, and we have our first pin attempt of the match.
No, Blades fights out of it.
Zach Davis: We know damn well it'll take an army to keep either of these men down for a three count.
Logan stands, unfazed. He grabs Jack's leg and puts him right in an STF.
Shannan Lerch: This move not only works on Jack's already injured legs, but works as a facelock as well, of course. Very effective at this point in the match.
Blades won't tap, but he knows he needs to get out of the move as soon as possible. He lunges towards the ropes, getting closer and closer each time. And as soon as he reaches them, Logan gets up, pulls him back into the middle of the ring and turns the STF into a Boston Crab.
Luscious Jackson: Logan's really workin' that leg now.
Zach Davis: He's setting him up for the Loganshooter, no doubt.
Shannan Lerch: Not only that, but with the loss of leg strength, you can't move as fast, you can't stand as fast, it affects nearly everything you do inside that ring.
Blades again crawls towards the ropes, using all of his strength. Logan keeps the hold locked in the best he can, using all of his strength to keep Blades from reaching his freedom. But eventually, again, Blades is able to grab on. This time, instead of letting Logan pull him to the middle of the ring, Blades uses the ropes to pull him up. Logan lets go of one leg, but attemps to hold on to another. Blades maneuvers himself around, and BAM! He executes a mean Enziguri, kicking Logan right in the head. Logan falls, face first, into the canvas.
Luscious Jackson: And here is Blades' chance to come back!
Jack gets to his feet, legs still obviously hurting. Jack uses this as a chance to catch his breath and get his strength back, waiting for Logan to get to his feet. He does, and Jack spins him around, first hitting a European Uppercut, then another, and then hitting a stiff kick to the gut, causing Logan to double over. Blades grabs his arm and executes a big Pumphandle T-Bone Suplex!
Zach Davis: Beautifully executed. Logan's head must still be dazed from that Enziguri, too, Jack needs to go for a pin here.
But, no, he doesn't. Instead, Jack again waits for Logan to stand up under his own power, waiting behind him. Logan somehow manages this feat, standing up, but as Zach predicted, he is incredibly dazed. He looks around for Blades, but as he turns around Jack runs to the ropes, bounces off, and hits the Springboard Enziguri!! The crowd pops.
Shannan Lerch: Another stiff kick to Logan's head! He could have a concussion!
Logan goes down, an expressionless look on his face, like no one's home. Blades quickly makes the pin, hooking the leg.
NO! By some instinct, Logan throws his arm into the air, getting his shoulder up.
Luscious Jackson: Amazing.
Blades picks Logan up and throws him into the turnbuckle, slamming him hard. He then grabs him and turns him around into the Tree of Woe position before backing up to the opposite side of the ring.
Zach Davis: He's going to break Logan in half!
Jack runs full speed, and goes for a Spear, but no! Logan manages to lift himself up, sending Blades into the turnbuckle! Logan quickly gets himself out of the tree of woe, waits for Jack to turn around, and then hits a huge Superkick!
Shannan Lerch: You could hear that throughout the arena!
Logan drops down and makes the pin.
No! Jack kicks out. Logan is getting his second wind. He quickly picks Jack up and throws him back into the turnbuckle. He then starts hitting several quick kicks and spin kicks. He backs up and Blades steps out of the corner, dazed... Logan executes the Impact Style!
Luscious Jackson: This could be it! No one kicks out of that!
Blades goes down! Logan, however, doesn't attempt to pin. Instead, he grabs Blades' legs... and finally locks in the Loganshooter.
Zach Davis: Logan has been working over Jack of Blades' leg this entire time. I don't know if Jack can escape this.
Blades yells, but whether it is out of pain or defiance is unclear. The ref asks if he wants to give up, but he doesn't even dignify it with a response. Jack begins crawling slowly towards the ring ropes... Logan cranks the move even harder... Jack keeps crawling..
Shannan Lerch: Could we see a finish similar to Vice and Striker? Is Jack of Blades going to pass out?
Jack is still crawling... one final lunge...
Luscious Jackson: He's reached the ropes!
Indeed, Jack of Blades is clutching the bottom rope. The ref yells at Logan to break the hold, and Logan refuses. The ref then starts to count, one.. two.. three.. four.. finally, Logan releases it. Blades clutches his leg in pain, and Logan simply waits, waiting for him to stand.
Zach Davis: I can see it in his eyes, Logan is planning to put Jack away here.
Jack is to his feet... Logan grabs him in a Sleeper...
Shannan Lerch: The Connector!
Logan flips, but Jack somehow manages to toss him off! Logan is quickly to his feet, but Jack catches him and hits a Front Face Lock STO!
Luscious Jackson: Jack Off!
Zach Davis: Logan's head has already been worked over, that couldn't have felt good.
Logan stumbles to his feet, and Jack summons all his strength and hits the Joker's Wild!
Shannan Lerch: Oh my!
Jack quickly pins Logan, hooking the leg.
Luscious Jackson: Jack of Blades! New World Champion!
Zach Davis: Like Jack of Blades said... the future has to come sometime. And the future is here.
Das Duell by Ennio Morricone plays once again as Jack of Blades slowly climbs to his feet. The ref hands Blades the World Title, which he looks at for a second before a sick smile comes over his face, and he simply stares at it and laughs.
Shannan Lerch: I knew I'd have to say it sooner or later... Jack of Blades is the WCF World Champion.
Logan slowly gets to his feet. He hears the music playing, slowly realizing what has happened, and sees Jack with the World Title.
Luscious Jackson: These men entered as friends... will they leave as friends as well?
Logan approaches Blades, and Blades looks him straight in the face. Logan sticks out his hand...
Zach Davis: Logan being a man and making the first move! Will Jack shake?
Jack accepts the hand. The two men shake, and Logan raises Jack's arm high in the air, Title and all.
Shannan Lerch: We're out of time! This has been a fantastic night, and an amazing One.
Zach Davis: See you at Slam!
One fades out with Blades' arm in the air, holding the Title, with Logan looking up at it, hunger in his eyes.