Timebomb Intro
Slim Jim the Hobo vs Joeylights
Josephine Miyazaki vs ???
Shaun Sexton Segment
David Alastair vs Matthew Draven
Creeping Death vs ???
Ellis/Josephine Miyazaki Segment
Ace/Jack of Blades vs Simpy Outrageous
Brad Wallace vs ???
Tag Team Titles: Ellis/Josephine Miyazaki vs Torture/Nate Nytro
World Title: JJ Biggs vs Bobby Cairo

Timebomb Intro

Stadium Arcadium by the Red Hot Chili Peppers plays as Timebomb begins, live! Pyro blasts from the stage and in the ring and the crowd roars as the camera gets a good look at all of them. Lots of "TORTURE = GOD" signs. We then go ringside to Zach Davis, Shannan Lerch, and-


Zach Davis: Damnit, Luscious. Well, erm, yeah. Timebomb is on the air, and welcome, fans!

Shannan Lerch: We have a great pay per view tonight. Bobby Cairo's World Title is on the line, and JJ Biggs is the challenger.

Zach Davis: Biggs was the first victim of Cairo's recent attitude change, when Cairo walked out on him during the Lethal Lottery. Not only that, but the two men had a one on one match on Slam where Cairo just got himself DQed! But now Biggs has been granted his Title shot, and there are no disqualifications.

Luscious Jackson: That's right, Zach! Bobby needs to put out or shut up tonight.

Shannan Lerch: Don't you mean "put up or shut up"?

Luscious Jackson: Yeah. Figures if anyone would know something about putting out, it'd be you.

Shannan Lerch: Damnit.

Zach Davis: Another big story tonight is the finals of the Lethal Lottery tournament tonight. Ellis and the Hardcore Champion, Josephine Miyazaki, are taking on the team of Torture and Nate Nytro tonight.

Shannan Lerch: An all woman team as Tag Team Champions? Yes, please.

Zach Davis: It is entirely possible. Although Torture and Nytro are totally united, and I doubt we could say the same for Ellis and JoJo. This will be interesting either way.

Luscious Jackson: I love those hos.

Shannan Lerch: ...I hate you. We also have Reckless Jack.. er.. Brad Wallace.. up against, well, we don't know who he's up against. He has issued an open challenge, and-

Zach Davis: Let me tell you something. Brad Wallace is a total friggin jackass. First he walks out, acts like he's retiring, then he does THIS? Not that I'm surprised, he does it all the goddamn time. And then on Slam he has the nerve-

Luscious Jackson: Calm down, Zach, maybe he'll get his tonight, yo.

Shannan Lerch: Anyway! We have another tag team match, with Ace and Jack of Blades teaming up once again to take on the team of Simply Outrageous, Burn Out and Road Rage. That should be a good one, and I'm sure whoever wins this would be in line for a Title shot, possibly.

Zach Davis: We've also got David Alastair against Matthew Draven. This should be a great match between two of WCF's up and comers, after goddamn Brad Wallace ruined the first-

Luscious Jackson: Calm yo ass down, white boy.

Shannan Lerch: In another mystery opponent match, Josephine Miyazaki has been told she's being forced to defend the Hardcore Title against.. well, who knows who.

Zach Davis: Not me. Can't wait to find out, though. It has gotta be interesting.

Luscious Jackson: And lastly, in our opening match, a personal favorite of mine, Slim Jim the Hobo, is takin' on Joeylights.

Shannan Lerch: This is a guy that King Logan has taken in and promised to feed, and in return, Jim has to wrestle. Logan has a heart of gold, I tell you.

Zach Davis: A heart of treachery, if you ask me. Regardless, let's get to the match!

Slim Jim the Hobo vs Joeylights

“That Smell” hits the WCF Arena. Slim Jim the Hobo comes out onto the stage with his trench coat on. He also is pushing his cart full of cans and bottles. Once he gets to the ring, he brings out a bottle of whiskey and takes a drink, getting ready for his match.

Zach Davis: Logan employed this guy... and he's fighting for food. Sigh.

Shannan Lerch: Three cheers for cheap labor!

Everybody's Fool by Evanescence hits and Joeylights walks down with a light bulb in his hand as yellow pyro goes off all over the place.

Luscious Jackson: This guy seems pretty cool.

Joeylights rolls in, and the bell rings. The two men circle each other before tieing up. Joeylights gets the advantage, whipping Jim to the ropes and then hitting a Dropkick. Joeylights goes for a quick pin, but Jim gets his shoulder up.

Zach Davis: Has Slim Jim even had any wrestling experience or training at all?

Shannan Lerch: Well he knew enough to get his shoulder up!

Joeylights picks Jim up but Jim starts fighting back now, viciously, hitting a flurry of punches. Joey is taken by surprise, and Jim moves him into a corner, punching and kicking him in his gut. Jim eventually slaps Joey hard in the face. Joey looks pissed and rushes him, but Slim Jim catches him in a DDT!

Luscious Jackson: WHOA! He can wrestle after all!

Zach Davis: He can hit a DDT, anyway.

Jim goes for the pin.



Joeylights kicks out.

Shannan Lerch: No meal for Jim! Yet.

Jim looks mad. He gets up and stomps at Joey a few times, before climbing the turnbuckle.

Zach Davis: He's going to hit the-

Once Joey is up, Jim flies off..

Zach Davis: HOBO LARIAT!

Instead of going for the pin, Slim Jim stumbles to the apron. He rolls out of the ring and gets a bottle of whiskey and takes a drink from it. Or two. Or three.

Luscious Jackson: I have a new favorite wrestler.

Shannan Lerch: Is it just me, or do A LOT of wrestlers around here have an alcohol problem?

Jim shakes his head and rolls back into the ring, stumbling around. Apparently he's drank a little too much. Joeylights is up, and Jim goes for a sloppy Clothesline. Joey ducks it and captures him in a Northern Lights Suplex!

Zach Davis: Lights-Outplex!




Jim is too drunk to kick out.


Luscious Jackson: Aw.

Shannan Lerch: Joeylights picks up the win!

Joeylights rolls out of the ring, heading to the back. In the ring, Slim Jim is pissed, knowing now that he won't be eating tonight.

Hardcore Title Match
Josephine Miyazaki vs ???

“Tear You Apart” by She Wants Revenge begins blaring out, and the cherry blossoms fall from the ceiling, as per Josephine’s usual entrance. However, this time around, instead of a bottle of sake in one hand, Josephine has a microphone and starts talking as they cut the music and she makes her way down the ramp to mixed applause.

Josephine Miyazaki: Alright, motherfuckers. I’m in a bad goddamned mood. First off, that faggot Ace ends up fucking up in a match that fucking costs me a shot at what I’ve already done in Japan and Mexico... two belts at fucking once. To be honest, severing ties with that shithead was probably one of my better decisions. Now I get a second chance working with that fucking dead girl, but before that, I’m stuck fucking around with some mystery opponent after my goddamned title. Ya hear that, Torture? MY... FUCKING... TITLE. My fucking Hardcore title. So hurry up, bring this motherfucker out, let me get my pin, so I can get back to the women’s locker room, and finish my pre-match ritual of getting shitfaced on sake.

Luscious Jackson: That is one pissed off ho.

Shannan Lerch: She's going to kill you.

Jojo keeps a hold of the microphone as “Popozao” by Kevin Federline begins blaring over the system, and out steps an old man in a spacesuit.

Josephine Miyazaki: Spaceman? Motherfucking SPACEMAN? The fucking 90 year old jobber who thinks he’s got fucking laser vision? You gotta be kidding me... fucking hell.

With a snarl, Josephine tosses the microphone at Spaceman’s head as the bell rings to start the match. As soon as it hits Spaceman’s head, he falls to the ground unconscious. The referee checks on Spaceman and calls for the bell, awarding the win to Josephine by K.O.

Zach Davis: Well that was fast. And sad.

Shannan Lerch: Just like your sex. Not like I'd know.

Jo is furious and grabs the microphone again as a stretcher and oxygen are called out for Spaceman.

Josephine Miyazaki: That’s it? THAT’S GODDAMNED IT? You assholes drag me out here for a three second fucking squash? What the hell is this? First I fucking squash Genocide to win this title, then I defend it for three goddamned seconds? How dare you insult ME, an international fucking superstar! I demand a match! I demand a match with someone worthy of taking on the International Superbitch. Of course, I have a feeling it’s not gonna happen. Because I have the feeling that nobody in this, or any fucking federation, is a match for 6 feet, nearly 200 pounds of rock hard sex appeal. Anyone who thinks otherwise, come out here, get yourself a fucking Hardcore title shot, right... goddamned... now!

The second those words leave Josephine’s mouth, “Classical Gas” begins blaring over the system. Josephine’s eyes bulge out and her jaw drops.

Josephine Miyazaki: No... fucking... way.

A few seconds later, a woman emerges from the entryway and very slowly makes her way down the ramp. This woman is almost as tall as Jojo, nowhere near as muscle-bound, but still rather athletic looking, with breasts just as massive as Jojo’s.

Luscious Jackson: Hellloooooo nurse.

Shannan Lerch: Keep it in your pants.

Long waist-length black hair flows behind her, as well as a velvet red cape wrapped around her neck, also wearing something similar to a golden one-piece bathing suit, blue elbow and knee pads, and white fingerless gloves and boots. This woman stands chest-to-chest with Josephine for several seconds before taking the microphone and addressing the crowd. This woman’s Japanese accent is incredibly thick, even moreso than Josephine‘s.

Glorious Chris: Well... so this is America. Josephine, I really don’t know why you stay here. For those of you who don’t watch any wrestling other than the usual... crap they give you here, let me introduce myself. My name is Glorious Chris. I’m the champion, and premiere wrestler, of a Japanese organization called Hokkaido Pro. And more importantly... I’m Josephine’s long time tag team partner... and sister.

Josephine sighs, running a hand through her long blond hair and idly flexing her bicep as she watches Christina.

Glorious Chris: You see, ever since we were little, we were competing. My mother says we even competed in the womb, she could feel us fighting in there to see who’d get out first. We competed in the same school, both for grades and sports events. We competed in bodybuilding... her in the heavyweight class, me in the fitness class... for years, and we competed for over a decade in the wrestling world, even being undefeated as a team for a good three years as Violent Drunkard. When we broke up, it’s because we were competing for the same man. And yeah, I’ll admit it... I’ll admit it. Jojo and I don’t look like it, but we’re both in our early 30’s.

A look of anger crosses over Jojo’s face at Chris spilling that information.

Glorious Chris: And in those 30 years, the biggest thing I’ve learned is that no matter what it is... school, bodybuilding, wrestling... the most important thing is to never leave the people you’re working for disappointed. And as wrestling fans, we work for you. And I know you people were disappointed by that match.

Chris turns back to Jojo and again stands chest to chest with her.

Glorious Chris: So I propose this. Since I’m not a contracted WCF wrestler, I can’t compete for your Hardcore title. And since you’re not a contracted Hokkaido Pro wrestler, you can’t compete for my HP Heavyweight title. So let’s just have a match... no rules, no regulations, Philadelphia style wrestling that America has come to love once again. What do you say... sister?

Christina unlatches her cape and tosses it aside as Jojo slides off her trenchcoat, before handing the mic to Josephine, who grips it tightly.

Josephine Miyazaki: Just leave me a little something for my tag match later.

Jo steps back and again tosses the microphone at her opponent’s head, but Chris expertly swats it away with a backhand slap as the bell for the match rings, an impromptu interpromotional match between two world-renowned sisters.

Zach Davis: Here we go, gentlemen! Well, uh, gentleman and Shannan. ... Well, okay, nevermind. here we go, Luscious and Shannan!

Josephine went right for a straight punch, which Chris expertly dodged and countered with a slap to the face. Jo quickly recovered, going for an uppercut which again, Chris dodged, and retorted with by another backhand slap. Furious at this taunting offense, Josephine reeled her arm back as if to slap Chris herself, but caught the smaller sister off guard with a powerful clothesline that sent the both of them sprawling out of the ring and onto their feet on the outer ring area, trading punches without missing a beat.

Shannan Lerch: These two are showing why the women are just as good as the men.

The match quickly got hardcore as both sisters dove for the ring, sliding underneath the apron and hunting down some choice weapons. Both ended up drawing the old staple: the chair. Both Chris and Jojo went right at each other, swinging the chairs wildly, but every attempt ended up with chair meeting chair, the sisters knowing each other far too well to actually connect with a serious shot.

Zach Davis: Dueling chairs! I love it.

After a furious chair duel, Christina tossed aside her chair and cackled as Josephine ran at her, chair swinging wildly. Extending both hands, Chris easily caught the chair, but was surprised when Jo let loose with a Big Boot, nailing the chair, and Chris, and sending her into the guardrail. But in trying to capitalize with another clothesline, Josephine was caught off guard with a Judo throw courtesy of Glorious Chris, and hurled right into the throng of screaming fans.

Luscious Jackson: I wonder how many guys are gonna cop a feel.

Shannan Lerch: Probably none. I'd be far too scared that those women would rip the balls right off.

Luscious Jackson: Good point.

Taking only second for both sisters to get back to their feet, the two continued to trade blows, making their way to the back, through the audience, Josephine only stopping momentarily to drink a beer a fan had given her, Chris stopping only for a second to sign an autograph for a fan in a Hokkaido Pro shirt. Both turning back at the same time, Christina aimed to stab Josephine in the eye, only to be met by a facefull of beer. Angered, both sisters reeled their arms back and delivered a pair of straight punches, only for their fists to connect right with each other’s breasts at full speed.

Shannan Lerch: OH MY GOD OW.

Zach Davis: That is a pain I cannot imagine.

Both Christina and Josephine were forced to stagger back a minute, but were quickly at it again, trading blows on their way outside of the arena. Making it outside of the arena, into the building’s entryway and down the entryway stairs, Josephine taking the high ground as she forced her sister down to the WCF Arena parking lot... or so she thought. As standing right there in the parking lot were a half dozen wrestlers, none of them familiar to the WCF audience, of various sizes and outfits, being led by a 20-something Asian man with a scraggly grey tuft of hair and Coke-bottle glasses, khaki pants and a heavily taped up torso. Josephine forgot about her sister for a minute as she looked at this gang.

Josephine Miyazaki: Car Wash... Mary Arson... Jack Money... you guys are all from Hokkaido Pro. What the fuck are you doing here?

Glorious Chris: Forgive me sister... I didn’t want to do it. I really didn’t want to do it.

Glancing back at her sister for just a second was all the distraction the outsiders needed, the grey-haired man standing back and watching as the group of Japanese wrestlers began to wail mercilessly on Josephine, emerging with whips, lengths of steel chain, and even a sack of coins, all beating and battering the muscle babe ruthlessly as Chris walks over to the grey-haired man.

Zach Davis: What the hell is this?!

Glorious Chris: Alright, Tadakichi, you made your point. She should have signed with Hokkaido Pro instead of the WCF. Now let her go.

Mr. Tadakichi: Go back to the car, Christina.

Glorious Chris: But boss...

Mr. Tadakichi: Get back to the car before I strip you of your title. You’ve done your part. Next time someone refuses a contract with Mr. Tadakichi, they’ll think twice.

With a mournful glance, Chris forced herself to walk away from the merciless beat down. The outsiders stepped back, allowing Tadakichi to survey the damage... the muscle babe was unconscious. The wrestlers left as Tadakichi’s attention was drawn to the camera he noticed was recording the beating. He looked into it with a sadistic grin.

Mr. Tadakichi: A man of character such as myself shouldn’t have to come to a country as filthy as America. But now the WCF has stolen a rather big name away from me, with rumor of more to come. I hope you’re in your office watching this, ‘King’ Logan. This is a message directly from Musashi Tadakichi. As far as this New Talent Initiative is concerned... Japan is off limits. And as for Ellis, she... huh?

Glancing down, Tadakichi’s face was a mask of frustration and confusion... the camera followed his gaze to where the gorgeous muscle babe was just a minute ago... where now is only Ellis’ trademark blood-stained handprint.

Shaun Sexton Segment

Hank Brown enters the ring. He has a microphone in hand.

Hank Brown: Ladies and Gentleman, Timebomb has been a great Pay Per View. Now we will take a short break from the great WCF action and we will have an in-ring interview. My guest at this time is a man who has caused quite a stir around the WCF, he is the newest member of the WCF Roster, he is “The Shuggah” Shaun Sexton.

The screen goes black as Battle Without Honor Or Humanity plays. The famous Las Vegas sign flashes on the screen. The screen goes black again. The screen then goes to a shot of Shaun Sexton walking toward the ring. He is dressed in dark jeans, a red long sleeve button-up shirt, and flip-flops. He makes his way to the ring, once on the apron he motions to make Hank come and lift up the top rope so he can get in the ring. Once in the ring he ascends to the second turnbuckle, the fans boo loudly. There he pulls up the bottom of his shirt to reveal his ripped abs and talks some trash to some fans in the front row. The music stops and he returns to the center of the ring and begins his interview with Hank.

Hank Brown: Shaun, let me the first to welcome you to your first WCF event. So what do you think so far?

Shaun Sexton: What do I think? All I have heard about since I got to the WCF is how big Timebomb is going to be. All I have heard is how great Timebomb is going to be. Well you know I think that Timebomb has lived up the expectations in some ways but in some other ways this may just be the absolute worst wrestling event that I have ever seen.

Hank Brown: Why exactly do you think that?

Shaun takes the mic away from Hank

Shaun Sexton: Your services will no longer be needed, I can handle this.

Hank grudgingly leaves the ring.

Shaun Sexton: Fans of the WCF Timebomb has lived to the hype, the matches have been good okay sorry the matches have been average. The fans have been vocal in their opinions of the wrestlers. But you see most of all Timebomb has lived up to the expectations of the critics because “The Shuggah” decided to makes his first official WCF appearance here tonight. Now on the other hand….This may also be the worst wrestling event that I have ever seen or been apart of. Why Shaun, you may ask? Well Shaun Sexton has been diminished by just being used this interview segment. My talents should be used in the main event of such an important event such as Timebomb. Its okay though because not only is the roster of the WCF scared of what “The Shuggah” can do, but so is the office. They are scared that I would out perform every member of the roster, so they didn’t want to give me some jobber to destroy on this important event. I understand.

Zach Davis: Who does this guy think he is?!

Shannan Lerch: Impressive, that's for sure.

Shaun Sexton: The one thing that I still don’t understand about this place are the wrestlers. This goes out directly to the boys and girls in the back. So cameraman I want to get in nice and close and all the people in the back I want to crowd around one of those crappy thrift store monitors and listen very very close. I came here to get my open challenge answered, but like usual no one stepped-up. So this is your third and final strike. Since no one wants to accept I guess I am going to take matters in my own hands. In one week, I will once again enter a WCF event, however on that night everything will be different. I will walk into the arena, I will put my wrestling gear on and I will walk to the ring, not for a stupid interview but for a match. So Mr. match maker go ahead and put me down for the next Sunday Slam card because no matter who you put me in the ring with I can promise that they will be destroyed. Now that I proved just how terrible this company is, the fans of the WCF can look forward to Sunday Slam because it just got a little SWEETIER!!!

Shaun drops the mic. Battle Without Honor Or Humanity plays as he exits the ring and walks up the stage, while the fans boo.

Luscious Jackson: Next week, "The Shuggah" Shaun Sexton on Sunday Slam!

Zach Davis: I'm glad you said it, because I wasn't even going to try.

David Alastair vs Matthew Draven

The bassline that starts off Prince of Darkness plays and goes into a drumline with a bassline. The arena goes black and a huge explosion is seen turning the arena an eerie dark red. "My victims are rich of poor, young or old, strong or weak! I cause millions of accidents, I am cancer in your bones! I fathered the lie, twist what you say, speak not the truth! I am insidious, impartial, deep inside your chromosomes!" Matthew Draven steps out and another explosion happens, and Matthew walks out unscathed. Father Chuck Manson steps out and yells at the crowd. "I take what you love, and leave you in tears! I imprison your soul, your hopes are my games! I strip you of pride, my promise is in vain! While you burn at the stake I dance with the flames!" Matthew slowly starts walking down to the ring tightening his righ glove. "I bring poverty, sickness and death! A worthless handshake, the slickest thief, I steal your wealth! I answer your prayers for greed and lust! More than evil, I laugh at your trust!" Matthew grabs the top rope and climbs up onto the apron and gets in the ring. He looks around for a bit and then does a double thumb throat cut and when his arms come down pyro shoots out of the corners. He then waits as Father Chuck Manson leaves the ring and stands next to the nearest steps.

Luscious Jackson: Mathew Draven is lookin' good, tonight.

Shannan Lerch: That is correct.

“Dead End” by In Flames hits the WCF arena as David slowly steps out of the entrance way, looks around, and does his "Messiah Cross" taunt (arms spread with pumped fists while head banging to the music). He then sprints to the ring and slides under the ropes. He gets up to his feet, runs to the nearest turnbuckle, proceeds to do his "Messiah Cross" taunt, and steps off the turnbuckle, eager to start his upcoming match.

The bell sounds, and the two collide! They circle the ring a few times before tieing up, with Draven getting the advantage. Draven throws David to the ropes and hits a clothesline. Draven taunts. David gets up and hits the ropes Draven hits a back body drop, but David lands on his feet turns around and while Draven is taunting to the crowd, David trips Draven to the mats face first and locks on a quick ankle lock!


Shannan Lerch: Draven is quickly going toward the ropes.

Draven grabs the bottom rope with both hands and David lets go of the hole. Draven gets up slowly and they tie up once again. Draven with the advantage once again due to his size. Draven throws Alastair to the corner. Draven hits a body splash but keeps him in the corner. Draven throws David to the other corner, he hits hard and stumbles out and gets connected with a Big Boot from Draven. He taunts and pins David.

Luscious Jackson: This might be it!

1... 2...

Zach Davis: David with the kick out.

Draven lifts David up to his feet. Draven throws David back to the corner. Draven runs, but gets a drop toe hold face-first to the middle rope. David grabs a leg and rolls him to his back. He's pinning..

1.. 2...

Shannan Lerch: He kicked out! That was close!

David stands up and runs to the ropes, while Draven gets to his feet. David hits a running-jumping-Tornado-DDT.

Zach Davis: Oh-My-!

But before Zach can finish his Joey Styles impression, someone hits the ring and drops David Alastair with a springboard dropkick from the apron.

Zach Davis: Creeping Death?!

CD stands up, and drags Alastair on top of Draven. Creeping Death scales the ropes, and hits a Phoenix Splash onto both men! Right after this, the bell rings.

Luscious Jackson: What the..

Shannan Lerch: Looks like the ref counted the pin after Creeps put Alastair onto Draven. Technically, this means Alastair wins!

Zach Davis: None of them look like winners to me.

CD slides out of the ring, and grabs a chair. He comes back in to both men close to standing. CD swings for the fences and knocks David Alastair in the head, causing him to spill to the floor. Draven is pulling himself up on the apron. Creeping Death tosses the chair to him, spring off the ajacent middle rope, and Van Daminates the chair into Draven's face, knocking him to the floor!

Shannan Lerch: Creeping Death, you stupid bastard, what are you doing.

CD calls for a mic, and is handed one.

Creeping Death: Why did I eliminate these two? Look at them. They're newbies. Here I am, one of WCF's most popular guys, and certainly the most talented, being left off a pay-per-view, while these two, and a plethera of other newbies get to showcase themselves. So here I am. Refusing to sit back and allow this to happen. I challenge any of you new guys to come out here and prove to me that you're more worthy of a spot on this roster than I am.

Zach Davis: Creeping Death is walking head first into a war with, basically, the entire WCF roster, as they're almost ALL newer guys.

Creeping Death vs ???

Out from the backstage area comes "The Feature Presentation" Sean Hughes.

Shannan Lerch: What's this, Sean Hughes? Wasn't he pulled from the Tag Titles match?

Regardless, Sean Hughes walks down to the ring, and gets in, standing face to face with Creeping Death.

Creeping Death: So you're the one to start this, eh?

Hughes bounces off the ropes, and goes for a clothesline. CD ducks, however, and hits a kick to the gut. Creeping Death then bounces off the ropes and comes back with a front dropkick to the top of Hughes' head, compressing his neck. CD quickly drops to the mat and rolls out of the ring. CD pulls the mat up, exposing the concrete floor.

Luscious Jackson: Dis don't look good for the Feature Presentation.

Creeping Death reaches in, and pulls Hughes to the apron by his foot. CD hops up, and pulls Hughes to his feet, right above the concrete. Creeping Death hooks Hughes in a suplex, and hooks a leg. CD lifts Sean up into the Fisherman Brainbuster, and drops off the apron to the concrete floor. Hughes lands FLUSH on his head.

Zach Davis: ...Ouch.

Blood beings coming out from the back of Hughes' head. Creeping Death stands up, and throws his arms out in a crucifix pose.

Shannan Lerch: I don't know if this was an official match or not, but either way, I think we can say with some certainty that Creeping Death has won. Sadly.

Luscious Jackson: Why do you hate him so much?

Shannan Lerch: He kind of has a history of kidnapping my family and terrorizing us and stuff.

Luscious Jackson: Oh, yeah.

Ellis/Josephine Miyazaki Segment

We cut to the women’s locker room. Josephine Miyazaki is lying down on the couch that makes the women’s locker room superior to the men’s. She begins to stir, sitting up and noticing the blood all over her face and breasts. It takes a few seconds for her to realize where she is.

Josephine Miyazaki: How’d I get here... God fucking damnit. Why did you do it Chris... I thought we were sisters. To betray me all over again... fucking hell.

Kikyo (off-screen): She’s awake!

Kikyo Daioh quickly sprints onscreen, Ellis slowly following behind her, scythe in hand.

Kikyo: Jojo-chan, are you alright?

Josephine Miyazaki: Fuck do you think? I just got betrayed by my sister, got beaten down by a group of people who used to be my fucking friends, and got shown up by Tadakichi, of all fucking people.

Ellis: It’s a deep incision, isn’t it? When the cut comes from one you love, one who knows how to twist the blade to it’s deepest core.

Josephine Miyazaki: Shit, it wouldn’t be the first time. Look... kid, I’m sorry. I fucked up. I went and got roped up in shit you have no business in, got myself fucked up... shit, I fucking trained some of those guys... and now I’ve gone and fucked up your Tag title shot.

Ellis: ... just rest. We’ve still got a few matches left until we go on.

Josephine Miyazaki: I just...

Kikyo: Jojo-chan... just calm down.

Josephine Miyazaki: ... thanks. I was wrong about you. I fucking owe you one, kid.

Ellis calmly walks to the door, Kikyo behind her, but before she can leave, she pauses for a second with her hand on the handle.

Ellis: ... you brought me my Ambellina. I consider us even.

Ellis and Kikyo make their leave as Josephine lays down, nodding off. Cut back to the announce team.

Ace/Jack of Blades vs Simply Outrageous

As "The Noose" by A Perfect Circle plays in over the sound system, the lights go dim and you can only just make out the stage, about a minute into the song the lights come back on with Ace at the top of the ramp. He begins to make his way to the ring, halfway down he turns in a half circle whilst raising his arms, and then turns back around shrugging his arms before pointing to himself. When he gets to the ring he slides under the bottom rope and sits in the corner waiting for the match.

Zach Davis: And here is his tag team partner, the Television Champion...

Ennio Morricone's Whistling Overture plays. There's a short blackout before the arena is enveloped in bright crimson light. A solitary spotlight focuses on Jack of Blades through the blackout and then leaves when it turns red. The opening image of Jack is him kneeling cradling his face. When the whistling begins in his theme music he moves his hands back and slicks his hair revealing an insane grin of ecstasy. Jack is still wearing bandages on his face from happenings earlier in the week. He walks to the ring muttering things to himself but in a very controlled manner. At the ring, he turns right and slides in. When in he runs diagonal to the turnbuckle. He jumps onto the second rope and remains static before spinning off and running back towards the camera and mounting himself on the ropes. He then proceeds to run the opposite diagonal direction (so his movements have created a 'V') and jumps on the turnbuckle. This time he reveals a red rose from his trenchcoat pocket raises it up beyond his head before catching it in his other and crushing it. The entrance ends with Jack still on the turnbuckle while rose petals fall in front of him.

Luscious Jackson: Next up, my men, Simply Outrageous!

Rollin by Limp Bizkit plays and Burn Out and Road Rage, Simply Outrageous, come out. They ride motorcycles down to the ring.

Shannan Lerch: Our first tag team match of the night, here we go.

Ace and Burn Out start the match. Burn Out runs at him and hits a Clothesline, sending him down. Burn Out drops an elbow, then another, then another. Ace quickly rollls out of the ring, trying to regain his bearings. Burn Out rolls out after him, grabs him and slams him into a guardrail. Ace yells in pain, and Burn Out grabs him again and throws him into the turnbuckle this time. Ace again yells and Burn Out then grabs him and throws him back into the ring. He quickly goes for a pin.. One, two, no, Ace kicks out.

Zach Davis: And the first nearfall of the match, but no. It takes more than that to pin Ace.

Burn Out gets up and tags in Road Rage. The two quickly pick Ace up and throw him to the ropes. Burn Out hits a Powerslam and Road Rage quickly follows up with a Leg Drop. Burn Out leaves as Road Rage goes for another pin.



No, another kick out.

Luscious Jackson: Ace can't keep kickin out for long, he's gotta get Jack in there.

Road Rage picks Ace up and grabs his throat, but Ace kicks him in the gut and hits a quick Fisherman Buster! Both men lay on the mat, and with a surge of strength Ace dives and tags in Jack.

Shannan Lerch: And here comes the man that has promised to attack Kikyo tonight.

Zach Davis: I don't know if he'd go through with it.. I think he's just playing games with Ellis.

Jack comes in with a head of steam, Clotheslining down Road Rage, who had just gotten up. Burn Out comes into the ring, he too is met with a Clothesline. Both Simply Outrageous members are up, and as they run at him, Jack hits a Double Arm Drag. Burn Out is up and Jack Dropkicks him, sending him out of the ring.

Luscious Jackson: Jack of Blades clearing house!

Jack quickly hits the Joker's Wild on Road Rage! He then locks in his submission finisher, the Judgement Day Jolt!

Shannan Lerch: There it is!

And Road Rage has no force but to tap out.

Zach Davis: There it is, Blades and Ace wins. Jack made short work of them.

Luscious Jackson: Bandaged or not, this man is a force to be reckoned with. Dat's why he's the TV Champ.

Jack rolls out of the ring, laughing, and wearing a sinister smile. The smile of someone who isn't quite done yet.

Brad Wallace vs ???

The opening to "Jumpdafuckup" hits as the crowd is waiting to see who comes out next. The arena is dark as red mist starts to fill the darkened place. The song continues, keeping the crowd in suspense. Once we hear, “JUMP DA FUCK UP!” pyro explodes from the stage as Brad Wallace steps onto the stage with Lucy. The kiss as the crowd boos. Brad flips the fans off as they walk down to the ring. Once they are in the ramp, Brad stops in the middle as Lucy gets on her knees in front of him. Pyro explodes down the rampway in a spiral manner. Lucy gets up as they continue on their way. Brad Wallace hops up on the ring apron and opens the ropes for Lucy. She teases the crowd to the only pop they will ever get. Brad Wallace slaps her on the ass when he is all the way in the ring. Brad goes to the closest turnbuckle and talks trash. He hops down and head to the opposite corner of the ring. He does the same thing as Lucy teases the crowd with some panty shots, if she has any on. Brad hops down as he gives Lucy another kiss before she heads out of the ring. Brad then goes and sits in the corner.

Zach Davis: I wonder who has answered the challenge of Brad Wallace.

Shannan Lerch: I personally hate this guy.

Luscious Jackson: Because he spoke the truth about you and Logan?

Shannan Lerch: Just shut up about it.

By now, Brad Wallace has a microphone in his hands.

Brad Wallace: Here I am, Timebomb like I said I was gonna be. Now, who is gonna walk down to this ring to face me.

About a minute passes by and no one shows up.

Brad Wallace: So, WCF is full of people who are chicken shits? Well then, I suppose that I should just go find…

The lights go out in the arena as “God of Thunder” by KISS hits. When they come back on, we see that Outcast is standing on the stage. We cut to Brad Wallace who is shaking his head. Outcast takes his time walking down to the ring.

Brad Wallace: What in the hell are you doing? You retired you old washed up piece of shit.

Outcast gets into the ring and takes that microphone from the hands of Brad Wallace.

Outcast: By all means, consider me unretired to beat some respect into your ass. Did you forget who beat you for your WCF title last month? I did, so the way I see things, I should just kick your ass again and shut your mouth.

Outcast drops the mic as Wallace gets in his face. Both men talk trash to each other. Then Wallace slaps the taste out of the mouth of Outcast. Outcast nods his head as he busts loose with a right hand. Wallace goes down and out of the ring.

Zach Davis: It seems that the brave Brad Wallace is taking a break already.

Shannan Lerch: This is the only time I will ever root for Outcast… GO TEAM OUTCAST!

Outcast allows Wallace to get back in the ring. Wallace circles around, wanting to lock up, but Outcast puts up his hands ready for a wild brawl. Wallace makes the first move, darting in for a single leg takedown, but Outcast pushes him off. Wallace gets up and looks at Outcast. Outcast smiles. Wallace moves in for an arm lock, but Outcast Hip Tosses Wallace to the mat. Wallace rolls out of the ring again.

Luscious Jackson: Brad Wallace is ducking out again. Doesn’t this cat know how to wrestle anymore?

Zach Davis: I think the lack of knowing who he was facing played a big part in this. Sure he had faced Outcast before, but he knew about it before hand. Preparation is everything in wrestling.

Wallace goes into the ring again. This time, he rushes at Outcast with a running Calf Kick. Outcast isn’t able to dodge the move in time and goes down. Wallace gets up and tries to get an Arm Lock on Outcast. Outcast is able to power out of the move and get to a standing base again. Wallace gets in the face of Outcast again. Like the first time, he bitchslaps Outcast right in the face. Outcast returns the favor with a giant slap to Brad Wallace. Wallace gets pissed and goes for a right hand, but Outcast blocks and hits a huge flurry of right hands himself. Wallace is reeling into the turnbuckle as Outcast stops with the right hands. He backs up a little bit and runs forward with a huge Lariat in the corner to Brad Wallace. Wallace goes to the mat.

Shannan Lerch: That was certainly stiff.

Zach Davis: You outta know what is stiff by now.

Shannan Lerch: Go to hell!

Outcast stays on the attack with well placed stomps to the back of Brad Wallace. Wallace is able to get out of the ring for a third time. He stands up as Lucy comes over and checks on him. However, Outcast is tired of this and gets out of the ring to follow Wallace. Wallace starts to run around the ring as Outcast follows him. Wallace slides in and runs against the ropes as Outcast is getting in the ring. Wallace comes off the ropes and hits a dropkick to Outcast. Outcast goes flying into the barricade. Brad Wallace waits till Outcast is on his feet before running off the ropes again. He acts as if he is going for a Somersault Plancha, but stops before he gets back to the ropes. The crowd boos as he laughs at them. Outcast drags him out of the ring and onto the floor now. Outcast tries to whip Wallace into the ring steps, but Wallace is able to reverse. Outcast goes knee first into the ring steps. He rolls away holding onto the left knee.

Luscious Jackson: Outcast is holding that knee.

Zach Davis: But Brad Wallace was never know as a mat wrestler, so who gives a shit?

Shannan Lerch: No one, talent less jackass.

Outcast is trying to get to his feet, but Wallace clips the left knee on the outside of the ring. Outcast has a painful look on his face, but is keeping his screams in. Wallace rolls in and out of the ring to break the count. Outcast is up on his feet now, walking gingerly with that left knee. Wallace chops him in the chest. Then kicks him in the stomach. Now, Wallace picks up Outcast and drops him knee first on the steel steps. We hear the impact as Outcast goes back to holding his knee. Wallace picks him up and rolls him into the ring somewhat, just leaving that left leg and knee on the ring apron. Brad Wallace grabs the leg and slams it down on the ring apron as hard as he can. Outcast rolls all the way into the ring now, clutching his leg.

Zach Davis: No high flying craziness from Brad Wallace?

Shannan Lerch: It appears not.

Wallace gets on the ring apron and sees Outcast is still down. So he springboards into a Shooting Star Press that lands on Outcast’s injured leg. Wallace then locks in a Side Leglock. Outcast is reaching out for the ropes almost instinctively. Wallace puts more pressure on the Leglock as Outcast is slowly getting to the ropes. Outcast finally does as Wallace lets the hold go. However, he pulls Outcast into the middle of the ring and slaps on a STF.

Luscious Jackson: Cracka doin submission moves… what the hizzle?

Shannan Lerch: Err, shut up.

Outcast is fighting his way toward the ropes, but the closer to the ropes, the harder Wallace locks in the STF. Outcast fights his way to the ropes now, getting the break. Wallace lets go of the hold only to punt kick Outcast in the ribs. Wallace picks up Outcast now and hits a perfect Butterfly Suplex. He doesn’t cover but instead grabs the legs of Outcast and puts him in a Boston Crab. Outcast fights his way to the ropes once again. The ref is pleading with Wallace to break the hold, but that isn’t happening so the ref starts his count.





Brad Wallace lets the hold go as he walks away.

Zach Davis: Brad Wallace almost gets disqualified there.

Shannan Lerch: I wish he did, then I could laugh at him for losing again.

Wallace flips the fans off and starts to lock Outcast in a Figure Four Leglock, but Outcast reverses that into an Inside Cradle.



Kick out by Brad Wallace who rolls out of the ring again. He grabs a chair and goes back towards the ring. He gets into the ring and tries to hit Outcast, but the ref pulls the chair away. Wallace starts to talk with the ref but Outcast hits a Reverse DDT on Wallace sending him to the mat. Outcast is slow to his feet as is Brad Wallace.

Luscious Jackson: That is what Outcast needed right now.

Zach Davis: What, no extremely gay comment about how a cracka down or how your dick is the size of my forearm?


Shannan Lerch: Don’t egg him on Zach.

Outcast hits a few hard right hands before sending Wallace into the ropes. Wallace ducks a clothesline and when Outcast turns around, he gets a dropkick in the knee. Outcast gets down to one knee as Wallace looks around and goes for the Dead Set. Outcast is able to dodge the move. Then he hits a Drop Toe Hold that lands Wallace throat first across the ring ropes. Outcast uses the ropes to get to a vertical base. Wallace is on his knees. Outcast walks over picks him up. Outcast then drops him with a Piledriver, but he isn’t done. Outcast rolls into a second Piledriver. No, he still isn’t done as he drops Wallace on his head with a third Piledriver. Both men are down.

Zach Davis: Rolling Piledrivers… I thought that was a myth.

Shannan Lerch: The only myth is how you have no idea what you are talking about.

The ref starts his ten count.





Both men are showing signs of life.




Outcast has his hands on the ropes as does Wallace.


Outcast is on his feet first as the count is stopped. Wallace is on his feet as Outcast starts with the right hands again. Wallace is trying to block them, but Outcast gets the best of the situation. Outcast kicks the gut of Wallace and tries for a Suplex. Wallace drops behind Outcast and when Outcast turns around, he gets meet with the Moment of Impact. Both men are down again. Brad Wallace doesn’t cover, but instead goes back to work on the knee with a Sharpshooter.

Luscious Jackson: There it is, the most over used submission move in wrestling today, besides a chinlock.

Shannan Lerch: Folks, I am sorry, Mr. Jackson never calls a match like this.

Zach Davis: I am sooo scared right now.

Outcast is fighting his way to the ropes, but Wallace brings him back out to the middle of the ring. Outcast has to be done for right now. But, he lunges for the ropes three times and makes it. The ref starts his count.





Brad Wallace lets the hold go. Wallace waits for Outcast to get up. When Outcast does, he gets kicked in the midsection and his arms get double underhooked. Wallace goes for his “B-Wall Driver” but Outcast Back Body Drops out of the move. Wallace gets back up and runs at Outcast, but gets destroyed with a Lariat. Outcast slumps down in the corner. Wallace is back on his feet as is Outcast. Outcast goes for another Lariat, but Wallace ducks and hits a nasty Enziguri. Wallace looks at the top rope. He starts to climb to the top, but Outcast meets him with a right hand. Outcast drills him in the back with some forearms.

Zach Davis: Could this be it, the Black Out?

Shannan Lerch: I hope so.

Outcast goes for the Black Out, but Wallace is able to get out of the devastating move. Outcast gets pushed off the top rope as Wallace flies off with the Brooklyn Bridge Splash, but Outcast moves. Wallace rolls through and gets on his feet. Outcast goes for another Lariat but Wallace ducks and School Boys him.



Wallace grabs the jeans of Outcast.


The crowd boos as Brad Wallace rolls out of the ring, knowing he has stolen the match from Outcast. Outcast is talking with the ref as Wallace heads to the back with Lucy. Evidentially, Outcast doesn’t like what the ref is saying so he gets Piledriven to the mat. Outcast leaves the ring as “God of Thunder” hits with the crowd cheering for the returning superstar.

Shannan Lerch: What a damn cheat, Brad Wallace stole this match.

Zach Davis: But, what can Outcast do about it?

Tag Team Titles Match
Ellis/Josephine Miyazaki vs Torture/Nate Nytro

Zach Davis: And here is one match I think we've all been waiting for. This is the climax of the Lethal Lottery tournament.

Shannan Lerch: Ironically, neither of these teams started out in the beginning. Ellis was originally teamed with Sean Hughes, who disappeared. Josephine and Ace were eliminated by, of course, Torture and Nytro. But now Josephine has been chosen as Ellis' replacement, so she's getting a second chance.

Luscious Jackson: She got the crap beaten out of her earlier tonight, though, so I don't know if I like her chances.

Zach Davis: She's motivated like hell, though. She wants to get two Title belts at once like she's already done in Mexico and Japan. On the other side of the coin, we have Torture and Nytro, two guys that work great together. So... who knows how this is gonna go down.

"Welcome Home" by Coheed and Cambria starts playing, and the lights in the arena go dim, then blue, bathing everything in a dark blue, with slight interference... a water-like effect, as if thin black clouds were covering the blue sky and casting fast-moving shadows. Ellis appears as the metal guitar kicks in, and slowly makes her way to the ring, carrying a large scythe that's slung over one shoulder. Her manager Kikyo Daioh slowly follows, keeping a respectful distance. Ellis' hair hides her eyes. When she gets into the ring, she hands the scythe to Kikyo, who bows in respect, and climbs into the ring. The lights go back to normal, but the music keeps playing as she closes her eyes and whispers something under her breath.

Shannan Lerch: There's Ellis..

Tear You Apart by She Wants Revenge hits and cherry blossoms fall from the ceiling like confetti, and after a few seconds, Josephine "JoJo" Miyazaki bursts through the curtain, bottle of sake in one hand and kendo stick in the other, long black trenchcoat flowing as she slowly makes her way to the ring. Once finally getting to the ring steps, Jojo takes the bottle of sake and chugs it, getting half of it on herself and spraying a mouthful in the air before tossing the bottle out into the crowd. This time she brings her kendo stick to the ring, not bothering with the sexy posing she is usually known for.

Luscious Jackson: She's all business tonight. Not showing any sign of pain, either.

Rock Superstar by Cypress Hill bangs out over the loudspeakers, and the crowd goes bizzurk. Torture and Nate Nytro walk out from behind the curtain and walk down the ramp and into the ring. They step up to the turnbuckle and stare out into the crowd. The crowd rains on him with their love.

Zach Davis: Torture and Nytro entering together. This perhaps symbolizes their unity as a team.

Shannan Lerch: Or maybe Nytro is too lazy to enter seperately.

Zach Davis: That too.

Both teams decide who will start the match, and it is Ellis and Torture. The two approach each other cautiously, and go to tie up, but Torture instead hits several forearms to her head, catching her unaware. He backs her into the ropes and then throws her into them, Clotheslining her down as she comes back.

Luscious Jackson: Torture, showin' no mercy, as always.

Tort then kicks her a few times before dropping a few elbows as well.

Shannan Lerch: Beating women is NOT so damn cool.

Zach Davis: I know, I know. But it's a competition, and we're not sexists here. In the ring, those two are genderless.

Luscious Jackson: Good luck saying that about Jojo. Try looking at those boobies and telling me she's genderless.

Shannan Lerch: Keep your mind on the match, pervert.

Torture has Ellis up and in a corner. He goes to Clothesline her into it, but she quickly gets a leg up, sending him reeling. She then rushes him, hitting a European Uppercut, and another, before hitting a Standing Dropkick.

Zach Davis: That set of offense is what I like to call the Randy Orton Series.

Shannan Lerch: I have a feeling that if Ellis heard that, she would not be pleased.

Torture begins rising to his feet, but as he does, Ellis runs at him and hits a Shining Wizard! She then stays on him, choking him. The ref yells at her to stop, and begins counting. 1... 2.... 3.... 4.... and she releases it at the very last second. She stands up, measuring Torture, and goes for a DDT. But Torture reverses it into a Northern Lights Suplex! He then quickly tags in Nate Nytro.

Luscious Jackson: Gettin' the fresh guy into the match, good call.

Nytro jumps onto the ropes and Springboards into the ring, Clotheslining down Ellis who had just stood up. Nytro then goes on the attack, kicking away at her. She reaches the ropes and slowly uses them to pull herself up, and blocks one of Nate's attacks. She then starts hitting him with lefts and rights of her own, hitting a forearm to his head before hitting a quick Dreamer DDT!

Zach Davis: That DDT was meant for Torture, but what a move!

She quickly goes for the pin. One... two... no, Nate kicks out.

Shannan Lerch: Close! You know who I'm rooting for, here.

Jojo begins calling for her teammate to tag her in. Either grudgingly or cautiously, Ellis makes the tag. Jojo steps into the ring, still with her kendo stick.

Luscious Jackson: I know she got attacked earlier tonight, but she's gonna get herself disqualified-

And with that, Jojo hits a big stiff kendo stick shot to Nytro's head. The referee looks distressed, not knowing what to do. Jojo hits the stick over his head again, and it breaks. But the damage has been done, and Nate is bleeding from the head. Josephine throws the stick out of the ring.

Zach Davis: Oh, I get it. This is for the Tag Titles, but neither of these teams are Champion! If we have a DQ ending, no one wins, and no one gets the belts. The referee knows this and doesn't want to DQ anybody... and Jojo knows this too, and was taking advantage of it.

Jojo quickly picks Nytro up and grabs him by the throat, signalling that she's ending it. She picks him up, high in the air, going for a Chokeslam, but Torture attacks from behind, and she drops him. Ellis of course goes to enter the ring. Instead of the referee being typical and stopping her from getting in, he makes Torture leave first, and as such Ellis doesn't need to come in and make the save.

Shannan Lerch: Our referees: avoiding cliche tag team match spots since 2000.

Jojo tags Ellis back in. Ellis awaits Nytro to stand, and measures him, goes for a Superkick... but somehow, Nate catches it, spins her around, and hits an X-Factor! Both wrestlers lay on the mat, catching their breath and getting their wits. Nate begins crawling towards Torture to make the tag, but before he can get there Ellis grabs his leg and pulls him back. He gets on his feet and goes for an Enziguri, but Ellis ducks and avoids it. She then flips him over, Nytro landing on his feet, and hits a brutal looking Superkick!

Luscious Jackson: DAMN!

Zach Davis: Nearly took his head off!

Ellis quickly goes for the pin.



No! Torture kicks Ellis off before getting back on the apron. Ellis gets up, and goes over to Torture, yelling in his face. Torture yells back, but behind her Nytro rolls her up!



No, Ellis gets out of it in the nick of time. This does, however, give Nate the chance to tag in Torture. Torture comes in with a head of steam, Clotheslining Ellis down. She gets back up, he Clotheslines her down again. She's up again, he Clotheslines her down again. She's up one more time, and this time he drops her with the Flatliner!

Shannan Lerch: NO!

Torture makes the pin!



NO! Ellis manages to kick out!

Luscious Jackson: How did she do that!?

Torture is pissed, of course. He stomps away at Ellis mercilessly before climbing to the top rope.

Zach Davis: I think he's going for the-

Torture flies off the top.

Luscious Jackson: Cool Mint!

But Ellis rolls out of the way, sending Torture into nothing but canvas! Both wrestlers lay on the mat for a few seconds, again catching their breath.

Shannan Lerch: I've noticed that Ellis is spending the majority of the time in the match... I think this is because of Jojo's attack earlier. No way is she 100%.

Regardless, Ellis crawls over and tags in Jojo. By the time Miyazaki has entered, Torture is up, and the two collide in the center of the ring, throwing punches at each other. Nytro slingshots himself into the ring as well and attacks Jojo as well, and she tries to fend off two men, but she just can't. Soon Torture and Nytro are both on offense. Ellis sees what is going on...

Zach Davis: Jojo was brutally attacked earlier, she can't take this. And Ellis just barely got that tag, what is she going to do!?

Ellis summons all her strength and runs, tackling Nytro down. The two roll across the ring, brawling and trying to throw punches, while Torture continues kicking away at the fallen Josephine Miyazaki.

Luscious Jackson: This match has broken down, y'all.

Soon Ellis and Nytro are up. Between the brawling, Nytro hits a sweet Flipping Legdrop, sending Ellis into the ropes. She gets her arms caught in them, and she's twisted up and exhausted. She can't break free. Nytro measures her, ready to go for a brutal move, but Kikyo quickly slides into the ring.

Shannan Lerch: What is she doing?!

Kikyo quickly low-blows Nytro from behind, and Nytro goes down. Before she can save Ellis, however, the ref forces her out of the ring and back down to the apron.

Zach Davis: Looks like the ref is trying to get this back under control. But what the hell? Look outside-

Luscious Jackson: Oh yeah, that mofo Jack of Blades just jumped the rails.

Shannon Lerch: Whatever.

As the commentators have reported, the bandaged Jack of Blades has burst threw the crowd and jumped over the rails and security to confront the distracted Kikyo. Knowing who it is simply through the bandages and his warning that the match between them would happen regardless, Kikyo back-steps to escape a confrontation. Jack soon follows suit.

Luscious Jackson: He looks like somethin’ out of a horror movie.

All attention has drifted from the ring, where Ellis is still tied up, screaming, to outside. As Kikyo accelerates her pace up the ramp without breaking into a run, Jack of Blades stops mid-way both laughing and pointing at the ramp’s apex. Upon seeing this, the startled Kikyo turns around to the realisation that Blades’ tag partner of the night, Ace, has blocked off her route of escape.

Luscious Jackson: Ow, she’s in trou-ble!

Jackson’s claims do not prove to be that prophetic as the ever-resourceful Kikyo’s hands enter her pockets and with a spring-like action throw a white powder into the face of Jack of Blades. As the salt falls in between the wraps of bandages, Jack of Blades immediate reaction is to flip backwards writhing in pain as his burns rage with irritation. With his back turned to Kikyo, Jack claws at his face trying to soothe the pain that Kikyo has caused in such fervour that even his attacker empathises. Placing a calming hand on his shaking back, Kikyo tries to apologise only for an unbandaged Jack of Blades to twist around to face her in dimensions so close, he can feel her gasp.

Jack of Blades: Boo!

Revealing his face to be perfectly healed, if much damage was done at all, Blades bursts into laughter at his effect on Kikyo as she collapses landing on her bottom in shock and aghast. With Miss Daioh seated, Ace takes the opportunity to swiftly kick her in the back of the head in the first act of direct violence towards her.

Shannan Lerch: That Shining Wizard to the back of the skull almost took her head off. That BASTARD.

Zach Davis: Known as the ‘Cards Under The Table.’

Picking up the damaged Kikyo, Jack of Blades drags her up the ramp clasping her neck while forcing her into the titantron scenery. Meanwhile, Ace snatches a microphone from a nearby cameraman and lifts a steel chair from the trash below the ramp in an effort to warn off the flood of road agents and referees trying to stop a future attack. Ace tosses his partner the microphone that he uses to declare his intentions.

Jack of Blades: Did I not give you fair warning? Did I not say that a battle between us would happen regardless of what the suits say? And you carelessly accompanied the drunkard and the zombie to the ring? Even after Ellis’ imitation of Dhalsim, burning my face off, you still didn’t realise what would happen? Money really does make people stupid. As well as making you a target.

He turns to look at the ring, specifically at Ellis. He begins to speak in his sternest voice.

Jack of Blades: Kikyo-Chan. You scorched my face and left me for dead. Turn about is fair play.

At this Jack places a hand in his jacket revealing a pistol, which he lowers to Kikyo’s face while moving his spare hand down to his hips. The road agents and referees, along with every audient, gasp at this and move forward to protect the protégé only to be prevented by Ace wildly swinging his makeshift weapon. Along with his manic laugh, Jack pulls the trigger as a collective drawing of breath drains the oxygen out of the arena. A few pleas of ‘no’ are heard as the trigger recoils and forces out its contents. Contents less deadly than first expected as a clear liquid ejaculates from the pistol and covers Kikyo’s hair and face. Silence for the first few moments until a few laughs burst from the crowd. Not particularly laughs of enjoyment just relief. Well, except for Jack’s.

Zach Davis: Phew. Just a water-squirter.

A road agent confirms the same thing as Zach stating that the pistol is simply a ‘water squirter.’ A statement which Jack contradicts saying ‘no, it’s a gasoline-squirter.’ At this, the camera reveals that his free hand has retrieved a zippo that he lights and flings at the direction of Kikyo causing the liquid stains to ignite and blaze against Kikyo’s face and hair. She collapses to the floor planting the flame into the metal ground as Jack removes his leather jacket, allowing the flame to continue for a few seconds, before using it to halt the flame. Kikyo in embarrassment and pain wraps her head into his jacket as he turns to the ring and begins to speak.

Jack of Blades: Ellis. This wasn’t about you.

He lowers himself to Kikyo’s level who is still covered in his jacket and extraordinarily near to shock.

Jack of Blades: No. It is about you, Ambellina. Sticking your nose out of your candy-coated world into reality and trying to come between two people whose lives have not had the luxury of wealth, luck or general satisfaction. I have given you your first taste, your first dose of this existence, this realm in which both Ellis and I fluctuate. If you want some more, than cut your daddy’s credit cards, sell your laptop, fire your help and find an addiction. I’m pretty sure the anorexic can lend you a hand especially when it comes to your brand new task of having to hide your face from the public.

As Kikyo buries herself further into his jacket, Jack of Blades turns to Ellis.

Jack of Blades: Which leads me to you, Ellis Davis. No need to fear about your clipped angel here. Her burns are superficial, a month or so and she’ll be back to her usual self. Minus the smile perhaps. But I want her to look into a mirror and realise that she overcame the harshness of reality in this instance. Her face will heal and when she sees this, I also want her to realise that the hands reality dealt us are irrevocable and no amount of trust funds and skin grafts can change that. We can either submit to the blandness of existence or rebel against it through hallucination and vibrant insanity. And next month, Ellis Davis, one way or another, we are having a match. I do not know what kind of match yet, but somehow with my latest actions I doubt you'll protest being given the opportunity to get your hands on me. It’s gonna be a big night for you, Ellis. I would ask your friend here for cosmetic advice and as such I’ve chosen the latest fashion accessory for the Japanese protégé to model for you.

Jack of Blades leans a hand into his pocket and removes a folded brown bag which he sorts before whipping the jacket off of Kikyo and forcing it over her burnt skull with relative ease as she the pain has made her immobile.

Shannan Lerch: This is absolutely disgusting.

Jack of Blades throws the microphone to the ground as he and Ace move behind the curtain allowing the concerned road agents to tend to Kikyo.

Zach Davis: I hate to say it, but we still have a match going on in the ring!

The ref suddenly realizes this too. Ellis is still stuck in the ropes, unable to break herself free. Torture is kicking away at the fallen Josephine Miyazaki, and Nytro is just stumbling up. The referee goes over, realizing he has to get Ellis free, and does so.

Luscious Jackson: This can't be good for anyone involved.

Ellis goes to get out of the ring and go to Kikyo, but Nytro grabs her before she can. And she seems to snap, a fury in her eyes. She gives Nytro the Gift from the Unholy Voice! Blood red is all over Nytro's face, and he drops to the mat. Torture turns, and she sprays the red into his face as well! Josephine is up and with her last bit of energy Clotheslines him over the top rope. Ellis turns back towards Nate, picks him up, and executes the Breaking the Broken Victim!

Shannan Lerch: THAT'S IT!






Luscious Jackson: And Josephine Miyazaki has achieved her goal!

Shannan Lerch: But at what cost?

The road agents and EMTs now have Kikyo on a stretcher, and are taking her out. Ellis doesn't even wait to be handed the tag belt. She rolls out of the ring and runs after her. Josephine gets to her feet, vaguely aware of what is going on, and is handed both of the Tag Titles. She raises them up in the air before dropping down and rolling out.

Zach Davis: I have a feeling that there is going to be hell to pay.

No Disqualification World Title Match
JJ Biggs vs Bobby Cairo

Luscious Jackson: And now, dawgs, our World Title match.

"Voices" by Disturbed hits the PA System. The curtain brushes open and out steps JJ Biggs followed by Jake Hudson.

Shannan Lerch: And here comes the challenger.

JJ walks down the ramp at a steady pace with Hudson by his side. Both men climb up onto the ring apron and enter the ring. They walk over to a corner and talk the match over as JJ waits.

Zach Davis : ..And here comes the Champ.

The opening strains of Faith No More's "A Small Victory" play as the arena lights begin flashing on and off. Bobby Cairo bursts out of the entranceway, World Title around his waist. Cairo then charges down the aisle to the ring and slides in under the bottom rope.

Luscious Jackson : He's lookin' pretty confident if I do say so myself.

Zach Davis: Yes, there's Cairo, a changed man-

Without hesitation, Biggs rushes Cairo, stomping on him as he enters. The bell rings, and the match is on. Biggs continues to stop at Cairo before picking him up and hitting a big Double Arm DDT! He goes for a quick pin!



No! Cairo kicks out.

Shannan Lerch: That was close! Biggs is all business, going for the win right away.

Biggs picks Cairo back up, throwing him into a turnbuckle and hitting several forearms to his head. Biggs backs up a bit and runs at him, but Cairo gets the leg up at the nick of time. Biggs stumbles away and Cairo hits a Superkick out of the corner! The World Champ paces around, kicking Biggs a few times, trying to catch his breath and get back into it.

Luscious Jackson: Looks like Bobby's gettin back in control.

Eventually Biggs begins getting up, but Cairo measures him, runs, and hits a Shining Wizard! Biggs goes back down in a daze. Cairo is right back on him, putting him in a Camel Clutch.

Zach Davis: Bobby working over the head area, here.

Biggs refuses to give up, of course. Cairo keeps the hold locked in for several seconds until breaking it, getting up and quickly kicking JJ straight in the head a few times. Biggs tries to shake the kicks off, but they're getting to him. Cairo picks Biggs up, and pulls him up like a Vertical Suplex..

Shannan Lerch: I think he's going for a Brainbuster!

But no, Biggs throws his weight and lands behind Cairo, still holding on, and hits a big Neckbreaker! Cairo rolls over a few times, holding his head, while Biggs gets to his feet.

Luscious Jackson: Dis is Biggs' chance for a comeback!

Biggs tries to shake off the cobwebs, kicking at Cairo a few times. He picks Bobby up and steps back a few before hitting a huge Clothesline, sending both men over the top! They tumble to the outside and lay on the ground a few seconds before Biggs is the first one up. Cairo slowly pulls himself up as well, and Biggs goes right on the attack, hitting a few stiff knees to his stomach. Biggs goes to lift Cairo up... but Cairo slides behind Biggs as well, spins him around, and quickly hits that Brainbuster he was trying for earlier!

Zach Davis: NO! Biggs gets a Brainbuster on the outside!

Shannan Lerch: After all the punishment he took to the head earlier, this is NOT good.

Cairo gets to his feet, groggily, and picks Biggs up quickly. He rolls him into the ring before rolling in himself, and going for a pin.



No, Biggs manages to kick out.

Luscious Jackson: That was a close call.

Right after Biggs kicks out, Cairo quickly begins locking him in a submission hold... and it is an STF. Biggs yells out in pain, and Cairo cranks it in more.

Zach Davis: This might be it. Biggs can't stay in this hold long, he'll break something.

Biggs reaches out, trying to grab the ropes... and... eventually is able to reach! The ref counts.. one, two, three, four.. and Cairo is forced to release the hold. He pulls Biggs back to the center of the ring, but Biggs kicks him away. Cairo comes back at him again, and Biggs trips him up, sending him down to the mat. Biggs then quickly gets up and hits a few elbows to keep Cairo down. Cairo avoids another elbow drop by rolling out of the ring. Frustrated, he grabs a chair.

Shannan Lerch: Uh oh.

Luscious Jackson: Remember, it is no disqualification!

Biggs rolls out of the ring to stay on the attack, but Cairo swings the chair viciously. Biggs ducks in the nick of time, then punches Cairo a few times. Bobby drops the chair. Biggs picks it up and hits a HUGE chair shot to Cairo's head! Cairo looks dazed and barely there, and stumbles towards the announcer's booth. Biggs grabs him and puts him onto it.

Zach Davis: What the hell! What is he doing?!

Shannan Lerch: Who cares? Let's get out of here!

Luscious Jackson: The least they could have done was use the spanish table, damn it.

The announcers scatter, and Biggs climbs onto the table with Cairo. He picks him up... LIGHTS OUT THROUGH THE TABLE!

Zach Davis: My God!

Both men lay on the ground for several seconds, the fans chanting "WCF! WCF!" but eventually JJ Biggs is up. He picks Cairo up and quickly rolls him into the ring, exhausted. He makes the pin!




Shannan Lerch: What!?

Biggs is angry and a look of frustration comes across his face. He storms across the ring, waiting as Cairo gets up.. and as he does, grabs his head..

Luscious Jackson: He's goin' for the Biggs Implant!

But no! Cairo jabs Biggs in the side several times, gets out of it, grabs him... CAIRO HITS THE WILD RIDE! He goes right into the pin!




Zach Davis: Another nearfall!

Cairo is the one that is frustrated now. He grabs him, trying to lock him into the No Way Out.

Shannan Lerch: No Way Out is an appropriate name, because if Cairo locks this in, it is over.

But Biggs somehow finds the strength to fight it off! Both men are to their feet, brawling. Cairo goes to throw Biggs into the ropes, Biggs reverses it, AND CATCHES HIM IN THE BIGGS IMPLANT! He drops down onto him, pinning!




Luscious Jackson: NEW WORLD CHAMPION!

Biggs' music hits as Cairo rolls out of the ring, defeated. The belt is handed to JJ Biggs, who holds it up high in the air to the approval of the crowd.

Zach Davis: Timebomb is over, my friends, but we will see you next month at Explosion!

Shannan Lerch: And hopefully next week at Slam!

Luscious Jackson: Goodnight!

The copyright info appears with Biggs putting the World Title around his waist, and the show fades to black.